I found that my boyfriend recorded random women’s butts

[LanaL]

I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years , he has always gave me access to him computer,laptops and phone. I was going through his phone I didn’t find anything on his Instagram and text then I looked in his “trash “ on his phone then I found that he recorded random girls butts and I found that he is addicted to porn. I confronted him he admitted to me that he has a problem and within 2 days he went to a group meeting for people who are addicted to sex and porn . I drove him to his meeting.he wants me to be involved and help him . I gav him conditions that I want I told him I want to see his phone I told him no more porn, I told him that he needs to contact me more (we don’t live together) . I told him he has to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world . He agreed. But I’m still constantly thinking about it . I know I’m attractive i take care of myself im responsible. Any tips people? I can’t really speak to anyone else about this .

[kivan3x]

hi there. hm this is tricky, and it depends entirely on your own set of ethics and principles,but here's one view. in my previous relationships I kept my online porn etc habits secret from my SO, and they probably kind of knew, but happy for it to be an unspoken things. I have searched for years amongst every male friend I have made to find someone who a. doesn't watch porn at all or b. does and is open with their SO about it and after all these years I have only met one fella who was open with their partner about it (they watched it together). there were two guys who seemed so classically decent that I thought they might be contenders for guys who never watch porn, but when asked they sheepishly admitted that yes they did too. my hope for my next relationship is that I wouldn't feel the need to watch porn or whatever, but equally that I wouldn't want it to be some taboo or secret thing.

 

I have a friend who went through the same - she kept finding her bf's porn even though she asked him to give it up. They eventually split up because of this. I'm not sure how successful blanket bans are. Bear in mind that most men have a habit of masturbation to images and video since puberty so it's not the easiest thing to just give up.

 

And this is categorising what your bf does under 'porn' and not getting into the whole illegality of what he is doing! but "upskirt" is a very common topic on your regular porn sites, and there are probably thousands of videos of people doing the same thing, and uploading it. it's been normalised. wrong and totally illegal, but I wouldn't bang him up with all the other wronguns just yet.

 

All I can think to suggest as a positive step forward is for you to actively direct these fetishes onto you. If he likes filming girls' butts, let him film you! become his fantasy, have him looking forward to the next time! It's totally dependant on what you see as acceptable and appropriate of course, but such play within a loving relationship can be amazing.