To be or not to be?

[Alquila]

Hello, everyone!

 

I am at a point in this relationship that I am in where I am confused at what his actions and words mean.

 

I am in my early twenties and I have been seeing someone for 3 months. He's in his early (almost mid) thirties and we are long distance (but not too far). He is great and all and I want to make it work but he makes me feel bad at times.

 

If he brings up a woman, he always comments about how beautiful she is. He spoke about all his exes, and how "stunning" and "head-turning" and "gorgeous, just amazingly gorgeous" they all were. Every single time he mentions someone he was friends with back in med school he always says "we thought about dating" or "we dated for a while." He doesn't comment on my looks except for calling me pretty girl. I don't have a big ego and don't need to be showered with compliments all the time but it makes me feel as if I'm many steps down for him. He also makes sure to tell me about how many sexual relationships he's had (hint: according to him it's many). He also asked me if my younger step-sister is prettier than me.

 

He invites me to things last minute and when I tell him that I don't have time to plan the trip (I would have to purchase a plane ticket, pack my bags, ask off work...) he tells me that he's not much of a planner. But I am a planner and I would at least like to know three weeks in advance so I could arrange things. Last week, he called me at night and asked if I could fly out the next morning and told me that I could ask off work. I told him no, I had work commitment (especially since it's a new job).

 

He's a doctor with a bit of "God Complex." He said that I can learn a lot from him and that I will "thank him" later. I'm going to med school soon myself so it's not like I need him for status. I'd like him if he were a garbage man.

 

He doesn't like to hear about my health problems. I haven't even told him about my health issues, I've only mentioned a migraine or two a couple of times and my appointment with my doctor once. I didn't even go into detail. He told me that he wasn't feeling well one day and I asked him what was wrong and he told me. He then said in a very annoyed voice that he essentially is annoyed by my health issues...which I don't even talk about with him.

 

He also comments about my dietary choices. He eats junk and that's his choice. I obviously encourage him to eat better and make better lifestyle choices, but I don't say it all the time because then I'd be nagging and he has to want to do it for himself. I am a vegetarian (for health and ethical reasons) and am a bit picky about food, but I never stop him from eating what he wants and I don't comment on it because it doesn't bother me. He told me once that he gets to pick the restaurant next time and that my dietary needs "affect" him greatly. I pointed out to him that he eats what he wants and I don't say anything and ignore it because I don't care what he eats, so my diet doesn't affect him at all. He said yes, I'm right.

 

He called my mom "a degenerate" and made fun of my elderly, dying dog. He says a lot of things without thinking if she should actually say it and how it could affect other people. He says that his family asks him to be quiet because they know he can be hurtful at times due to his big mouth.

 

A couple of weeks ago he asked me if I love him a couple of times and I answered that it's a bit too early for either of us to say that right now. But I assured him that I have feelings for him. Ever since then, he has been quiet and won't call or text (he only called once) and it's unusual because we talk and text everyday.

 

I'm sorry for this long post, but I don't know what to do. Should I end this or am I missing something? Can anyone give me any advice. Thank you!

[d0nnivain]

Why would you stay with such a cruel person? He compares you unfavorably to other women. He rubs these other women in your face. He calls your mom names & makes fun of your elderly dog. You can't talk to him. He admits that he says awful things & you already see the God complex.

 

You stroke his ego. Period. He does not care for you nor does he value you.

 

I don't know what you are getting out of this "relationship" but I can't imagine that the perceived prestige of marrying a doctor is worth your soul.

[Birdies]

Ew, he sounds like a judgmental cocky jerk. You should dump him yesterday. In his 30s and single.... I can see why!