Is Attraction all about Physical looks

[Mysterio]

When I sit here and think about it. When its all said and done. The reason why some of us are single or having a hard time. It must be because of physical looks.

 

What else could it be. To stay together is another thing. Yet I asked one of my female friends the other day if she gets hit on. She said no. So how is it that a couple gets together. They become attached. When they are not together. No one knows what the status is.

 

I get hit on once in a while. I just find it interesting why some have no problem. Others have it harder.

 

I also think that Men are more physically attracted to Women than vice versa for the most part. There are more visual ads for men that feature women than the other way around.

[carhill]

IMO, if one's demographic allows/supports repetitive contact of single people then it's more likely the attraction process will be more pervasive, or allow a more pervasive process to occur. If people are only single briefly or not at all, then immediate attraction becomes more prevalent and either people are hooking up with others they were attracted to/got to know while married or coupled or they pop out immediately from the crowd.

 

I only had the latter happen once in life and no doubt it was due to physical looks because I hadn't met the person ever, didn't know her even second-hand, and had no awareness of her at all. Yet she stopped the room for me, in a nanosecond, and that attraction would endure for over a generation. Further support for that would come as I found out how many men were after her, besides the reality that she turned out to be married. Had that PSA made it to me before the chance meeting, I doubt the perception would have been the same. To me, that supports physical looks as a potential/real impetus for attraction.

 

OTOH, even though I married someone who turned out to look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen's former wife Valerie, I got to know her prior to first meeting so there was strong synergy prior and the physical looks accentuated that. Also, compared to the women I had interacted with prior who were single for ten seconds if at all, she was clearly single, though of course in demand and dating, but there was time and space to grow attraction, not everything be required to be in place in a microsecond.

 

In general, IMO we covet with our eyes first.

[ZayKayWill]

Um no. It is definitely not all about physical looks. My first ex girlfriend I honestly didn't find all that attractive at first but after getting to know her I started becoming attracted to her. I also have a few female friends that I wouldn't mind getting physical with who aren't all that physically attractive (IMO) simply because they are awesome people.

 

I think physical attraction may be the initial criteria for mate selection. So in other words, if you go out or go on a dating site, chances are you'll weed out a potential mate by what they look like. Pretty much everyone does this I would imagine. But, essentially, it's the person's behavior and personality that eill determine if you guys stay together or not.

 

There's lots of different kinds of attraction. Physical, romantic, platonic, spiritual, etc...

Edited October 21, 2017 by ZayKayWill

[Mysterio]

Yet when on hooks up with a mate. How do you turn off your looks for other people.

 

I inquired about the status of a woman that was Married. I did not know she was. Is there something about her life that I am un aware of that is making her attractive for me to atempt to date.

 

If I don't get a lot of romantic attention does that mean something. I have, just not on a consistant basis. More like every three year or so.

 

Feels like when I don't care, thats when romantic things happen for me. Never when I am in the mode. When I am in the mode. I feel like I am pretty much the same. No real major change. Just like when I am at work. My work ethic is to get things done right away. No matter what section I am looking after. Or with friends. I am consistant with my behavior. More Chill/Introspctive in demaanor and warm and friendly.

[Woggle]

It isn't for me. A woman could have model looks and if she is a crappy person then no go for me.

[Cookiesandough]

For me it is all about looks unless the person has an extremely unpleasant or incompatible personality

 

By looks I mean style too. Style is probably a good 70% of looks for me.

Edited October 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

For many people, it's not all based on looks, no. I think most of us just become attracted to the people we spend the most time with. People end up falling for that girl in their Spanish class, or that guy from work. Sure, looks are a big part of things, but there is just this IT factor that some people have that just works for them. That's usually what really gets people together.

 

The people who are attracted mostly to looks alone tend to be perpetually single. Always passing up better opportunities with better people in hopes to land some hottie that probably won't be all that interested in return.

 

Better by what definition though? If they're not attracted to the person, and attraction is important to them, how are they 'better'? And why do people believe if someone wants a hottie that means they constantly be looking for hotter? I don't follow. If we want smart are we constantly looking for smarter?

 

& if the persons been able to land hotties or get hotties interested in them and maybe messed up they opportunities because of their flaws, do you still think they should settle? Or work on improving themselves so they're happy with what they have

Edited October 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[JuneL]

Physical looks definitely have advantage for first impression. So obviously those with good looks tend to get lots of initial messages on OLD. But I also notice that most men have a threshold for looks (attractive vs. not attractive). As long as a woman is attractive to them, it really doesn't matter whether she's a 10 or just a 7.5.

[NuevoYorko]

For me, definitely not all about looks. I have to like the way they look but I am often not drawn at all to an objectively beautiful woman. There has to be something compelling, which I cannot describe. When that is in play I can get very fascinated by the looks of a woman who is not objectively beautiful. Currently it's her lips and a slight gap between the front teeth, and the shape of her neck. I guess it's what they call chemistry.

[Woggle]

I had a casual thing going with a woman who could have been a model. She was actually better looking than most models but she opened her mouth I just wanted to get away from her. What use is pretty looking arm candy if they annoy the crap out of you?

[Cookiesandough]

For me, definitely not all about looks. I have to like the way they look but I am often not drawn at all to an objectively beautiful woman. There has to be something compelling, which I cannot describe. When that is in play I can get very fascinated by the looks of a woman who is not objectively beautiful. Currently it's her lips and a slight gap between the front teeth, and the shape of her neck. I guess it's what they call chemistry.

 

> Says it's not about looks

> proceeds describe looks that allure them

Edited October 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[ZayKayWill]

I had a casual thing going with a woman who could have been a model. She was actually better looking than most models but she opened her mouth I just wanted to get away from her. What use is pretty looking arm candy if they annoy the crap out of you?

 

The last girl I dated actually was a model. She wasn't necessarily dumb but man was she immature. I did truly love her though. Sucks it ended the way it did. Hoping one day we can at least be cordial with each other again but I just don't even know if that will be possible.

 

Sorry kinda ranted a bit there but I guess my point is I kinda see where you're coming from.

[nospam99]

But I also notice that most men have a threshold for looks (attractive vs. not attractive). As long as a woman is attractive to them, it really doesn't matter whether she's a 10 or just a 7.5.

 

Sometimes I want to curse Blake Edwards for reinforcing the notion of rating physical appeal, especially a woman's, on a 10 point scale. Let me suggest an alternative and see what the rest of the guys think. Categories (guy perspective on women):

- I don't care about looks at all

- Too physically unattractive for any interest

- Passes a basic appearance filter, what is her personality like?

- Hot

- Super-hot: actress, model, porn star

 

FWIW, I'm a 60-something and have been on OLD for less than a month. I am dating a woman I met online who is in her late 60s and still hot (at least to me - I read her profile because I liked her looks). And a surprising number of 60-something women at least post still-hot photos on OLD. Christie Brinkley is not the only woman with a picture of Dorian Gray aging in her attic.

[JuneL]

I actually agree that this 10 point scale is a little bizarre; I used it only for the purpose of illustrating my point.

 

Sometimes I want to curse Blake Edwards for reinforcing the notion of rating physical appeal, especially a woman's, on a 10 point scale. Let me suggest an alternative and see what the rest of the guys think. Categories (guy perspective on women):

- I don't care about looks at all

- Too physically unattractive for any interest

- Passes a basic appearance filter, what is her personality like?

- Hot

- Super-hot: actress, model, porn star

 

FWIW, I'm a 60-something and have been on OLD for less than a month. I am dating a woman I met online who is in her late 60s and still hot (at least to me - I read her profile because I liked her looks). And a surprising number of 60-something women at least post still-hot photos on OLD. Christie Brinkley is not the only woman with a picture of Dorian Gray aging in her attic.

[spiderowl]

Obviously physical looks are what people see initially, but that kind of attraction does not last long unless there is a connection and chemistry. It matters whether the person is approachable, what kind of personality they have (and I don't mean whether someone is extrovert or something), and whether others feel happy with them.

 

Most of all I think what matters is some kind of underlying confidence that a person has, an innate knowledge that they will attract the right people. This kind of confidence is unusual but it makes a huge difference. If you don't desperately need the attention of the opposite sex, you get it anyway. There is just something about being relaxed that is attractive in itself.