LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

Bad first experiences with OLD


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree3Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15th October 2017, 4:02 AM   #31
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 4,193
Whats it mean shes a friend with romantic potential? I feel like I often get secretly put in this category. What don't you really like about her? No spark?
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th October 2017, 6:28 AM   #32
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Whats it mean shes a friend with romantic potential? I feel like I often get secretly put in this category. What don't you really like about her? No spark?
@Cookies ... The questions you ask could be asked of any man. I'm just me. If you generalize what I say to the men in your life, YMMV .... big time. Keep in mind that this woman and I have only been in each other's physical presense for about six hours. A lot of our 'relationship' has been phone calls, OLD chats, and dozens of OLD messages.

I feel that she is my friend. I know her well enough to conclude that she is a decent human being, that I care about her well-being, and that if she called on me for help with something I would respond. I can't read her mind. But the way she has treated me so far, I read her behaviour that she considers me her friend as well.

Spark? Hell yes, at least from my direction. We met on OLD. I am a male pig about looks. I don't jump into bed. But I would never have messaged her in the first place if my reaction to her profile photo didn't include a good dose of 'I'd enjoy tapping dat .... eventually'. From her direction, she has thrown me a few almost subtle, low key compliments. She's not jumping me. But she did initiate what is scheduled to be our second date later today.

What don't I like? I wouldn't say don't like so much as ideally I'd want 'more'. But I know the more that I'd want is not reasonable. Remember I'm a looks pig. She's not Scarlett Johansson. She and I are in our 60's. I've seen a photo of her from when we were both young. She WAS as hot as Scarlett. Other than that, we are still feeling each other out on common interests. There have been hits and misses. I don't like the misses. There are plenty enough hits to keep me interested in playing this out.

The answer to your last question is straight-forward: Friend + Spark + Time in + Two unattached people looking for serious relationships = Romantic potential.

Last edited by nospam99; 15th October 2017 at 6:30 AM..
nospam99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th October 2017, 10:12 AM   #33
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,373
Great stuff nos.
Really interesting hearing your perspective.
Don't get why your a male pig though just because you like a good lookin women , go read all the girls thread ,looks are the first thing they talk about

Good luck anyway and if you feel like it be great to keep hearing how your going.
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th October 2017, 12:44 PM   #34
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 84
Time for a status update and some additional personal observations about OLD.

I've been dumped. We had two dates and were discussing 'what's next' via phone and email when she emailed me that she was getting back together with one of her ex's. I'm disappointed but, to be fair and objective, it's not that we had enough time to develop a particularly deep relationship.

My subscription on ourtime expires today. I didn't re-up and hid my profile. There are enough things I don't like about ourtime that I have 'moved on' to another OLD venue.

Started on Plenty of Fish (POF) last week. I'm finding it very much superior to ourtime. While it doesn't advertise itself as 'senior OLD' like ourtime does, it has people of all ages (as does ourtime BTW) and has plenty of user controls to keep the age threshold in play. Impressions:
- Half the price of ourtime when signing up for minimum number of months
- Probably bogus psychological 'testing' that allows POF to 'identify' 'matches' and 'chemistry'. At least they bothered to ask a bunch of questions that ourtime didn't.
- No annoying Today's Matches and Who Do You Like at every login (ourtime) presenting lists of women hundreds of miles away or too many years off age
- Easily configurable searches for age and distance tied into the testing for alleged 'compatibility' and 'chemistry' matching. Downside is they apparently use distance 'as the crow flies' so a potential match across a toll bridge into a county with few roads is listed as closer than one an exit down the interstate that takes half the time to get to. You have to recognize the names of the communities where people live and know your way around.
- Flexible control of Inbox and Sent folders including (if you pay the rather low fee) being able to tell if your target has been online, read your message, and/or deleted it.

Overall I like POF much better than ourtime .... at a 'this is a no-brainer' level of preference. However no dates yet. Though I did have what started out as a 'promising' exchange of messages with one woman. Have to see. In a month on ourtime I 'met' In Real Life two women, only one of whom was interested in dating and had two real dates with her, both pleasant, before she broke it off. My POF experience is still new and I have the experience advantage from ourtime of having learned a bit about the 'tempo' of exchange of messages on OLD.

Last edited by nospam99; 26th October 2017 at 12:46 PM..
nospam99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th October 2017, 4:54 PM   #35
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,245
Glad you found a platform that you like better. Hope that works out for you.


Sorry that the lady you met went back to her EX.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 5:41 PM   #36
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 84
Well, I am discovering that OLD is indeed 'the Wild West' and it has gotten 'ugly'.

I have had email accounts that I used only for OLD registrations locked out because of what appear to be brute force password crack attacks.

On Plenty of Fish, though it APPEARS to have a broader demographic, I am getting the 'non responses' to my messages that someone (d0nnivain IIRC) reported.

Zoosk took my money for a subscription without warning me that I would need to provide a phone number or facebook account to be 'validated' before I could actually send messages. I don't give out my phone number and I won't give them my FB account for fear that it will be subject to a brute force password attack.

While I did finally receive ONE unsolicited message from an attractive woman on match.com, apparently because of my well-written profile, match.com later terminated my account. A google search suggests that they do this to many men. Apparently any complaint from a female will result in termination with no explanation and no appeal. Sadly the termination of my account resulted in broken off contact with a woman with whom I had exchanged several (what I thought were) friendly messages. Though who knows? She could have been the complainer.

I'm going to keep plugging away using okcupid and what seem to be 'weak' options with POF and ourtime. I don't trust eharmony or elitesingles to do the 'picking' for me. I continue to believe that bad as it is, OLD is way better than hanging out in bars where I expect to find women young enough to be my daughters cruising for hookups with men young enough to be my sons.

I'm thinking my early 'success' on ourtime was a lucky aberation.

Last edited by nospam99; 10th November 2017 at 5:45 PM..
nospam99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Looking for s and experiences m1k_l Long-Distance Relationships 5 31st July 2017 7:31 AM
Your experiences with GF going away without you jcm101 General Relationship Discussion 11 11th January 2015 6:36 PM
What are your experiences? plantsplants Second Chances 1 2nd December 2013 9:18 PM
Experiences with BPD Kendrick General Relationship Discussion 9 4th January 2012 10:43 AM
FWB Experiences? katiebour Friends and Lovers 5 16th July 2005 10:18 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:43 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.