Is this a rebound?

[Noenoe]

Hey Loveshack!

 

So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago (majority her fault) some infidelity and lying, and lastly me forgiving her but her still choosing to want to be single so I closed that chapter of my life out of disbelief because we had been dating 5 years since senior year of high school.

 

Well anyways I started talking to one of my friends I've known for a while, probably about 2 or 3 years that I met in college and we started hanging out, and shortly after I started feeling like I had some feelings for her, and in that space, i was still getting over my breakup so maybe I was lonely, we ended up cuddling one night but that was it and I told her I had feelings for her (which was probably ill advised), but anyways she said that "she would be lying if she said didnt feel anything for me, but that she fears not enough time has passed between my old relationship and that she wants us both to be in a place where we can be fresh and try to take our friendship to the next level if we want"

 

Which I totally get and respect and thats the only thing i regret is not waiting to tell her until im in a better place. So fast forward 2 months and we still talk a good amount and hang out together, some weeks we dont talk, other weeks she texts me goodmorning every morning (back and forth) so its inconsistent. I'm not sure if I should keep on just chilling in this friendship/flirty stage or go for it.

 

I guess my gut is saying take my time because I dont want to make her a rebound.

 

Any Advice or outlook?

[nospam99]

Disclaimer: this is not the 'voice of experience'. I've never been in your situation and, based on your hints about your age, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I can easily make a case that whatever 'rebound' I'm on is measured in years.

 

I can only project myself WITH MY VALUES AND ETHICS into your situation. I would go for it.

 

Why? Still projecting myself, regardless of how long a 'rebound' has been on the calendar, if the feelings about a particular potential relationship have not gone away, they are not going to go away with time. Waiting only delays something that is going to play out anyway.

 

Counterpoint: Why not? It sounds like you are in your early twenties. Look yourself in the mirror. If this is a case of 'one pair of gonads calling out to another' AND you are not a monogamous personality, it would be wise to 'play the field' potentially including this friend you speak of.

 

In any case, talk to her and ask her opinion. Sound her out about where that 'place' is that she believes the two of you 'can be fresh'.