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Boyfriend still has loads of naked photos on his phone?

Jmiller597

By Jmiller597,
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Jmiller597

Jmiller597

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Hello. So I'll start with I'm 20 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, we each have one child to previous relationships, and recently moved in together. Today, my boyfriends son was home sick from school. We have a thermometer that plugs into my boyfriends phone to take temperature. While we were using it to take his temperature my boyfriends son clicked the photo galley button on his iPhone. It opened directly to a bunch of nude photos of women. He says there old, but why would they be pulled up right away? We didn't even have to scroll to them. To top it off, I saw nude photos on his phone a few months into our relationship, he said they were old photos and that he would delete them. I was understanding and let it go. Now he is claiming these are the same pictures that I saw months ago. I didn't say much to him the rest of the day. He apologized that I saw these photos and said that he would delete them all tonight. When he got home from work I asked him to see the dates on the pictures. I wanted him to prove those pictures weren't from when we were together. He got extremely defensive and started screaming at me. He told me I wasn't seeing his phone because he doesn't want me to see pictures of women he has been with in the past. I told him I didn't care about the pictures, I just want to see the date. He refused and refused and refused. Also, about a month ago right after we announced our pregnancy on Facebook, he received a message on Facebook from a girl that said "wow after all these years between us you're expecting another child." I didn't think much of it until he opened the message right in front of me and the last message she sent to him prior to that message was a completely nude photo of herself. He would not allow me to see the date on that photo either. This all to me is so shady? I've been telling him recently that I don't feel he makes an effort to do anything nice for me. The last time he bought me flowers or anything of the sort was Valentine's Day. He didn't even get me so much as a card on Mother's Day, didn't even acknowledge it. He never has gone out of his way to do anything special for me. So I guess a combination of that and then finding these photos is extremely hurtful. What do y'all think?

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RecentChange

RecentChange

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What do I honestly think?

 

Based on the limited information you have given us, he is cheating, probably with multiple people.

 

He is keeping nudes of exs and new girls get sexts and probably more with.

 

You two do not have open communication nor trust nor respect for each other.

 

And the cherry on the top is having a baby with a man you have been with for less than a year (pregnant after less than 6 months of knowing him, do I have that right)?

 

Not nearly enough time to really know someone, and it sounds like he is far from dedicated to you.

 

The term only fools rush in comes to mind.

 

What the long term plan here? Marriage? Or?

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samspruce

samspruce

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PARAGRAPHS.

 

Other than that, yea, what s/he said above.

 

Maybe not multiple people at this moment or in the last little while, but definitely someone else?

 

Best thing you could do is focus on yourself, 'vibrate' higher. If he's not going to fess up, stop worrying about it. Then do what feels right. If that means approaching him on the subject, then do it.

 

Doesn't seem like he's someone to waste time worrying about anyway.

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sandylee1

sandylee1

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I think it's obvious he's up to no good. The dates were recent, otherwise he would have happily showed you.

 

Just wondering..was the baby planned? Seems like a short relationship to decide he's good enough to be the father of your child.

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Jmiller597

Jmiller597

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He deleted the pictures, or so he says....

After starting a huge argument about me not trusting him, he locked himself in the bathroom for like an hour to "delete" all the messages. Of course he didn't show me the dates as I asked prior to doing this.

Our baby wasn't planned. He is a really good father to his son, so I'm hopeful it will work out. I'm currently on bed rest, so it's not worth my effort or stress to go back and forth with him. If he's cheating, I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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He deleted the pictures, or so he says....

After starting a huge argument about me not trusting him, he locked himself in the bathroom for like an hour to "delete" all the messages. Of course he didn't show me the dates as I asked prior to doing this.

Our baby wasn't planned. He is a really good father to his son, so I'm hopeful it will work out. I'm currently on bed rest, so it's not worth my effort or stress to go back and forth with him. If he's cheating, I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

 

It does not take 1 hour to delete a bunch of picture. We all are familiar with *select all* and delete.

 

I feel sorry you are finding yourself in this situation. He may be a good dad but obviously he's not husband or bf material. You would probably find important information if you chatted with his child's mom.

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knabe

knabe

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PARAGRAPHS

 

We don't whine over that here.

 

OP, he is hiding something, probably multiple affairs.

 

I don't usually recommend this, but I'd investigate a way to retrieve that stuff.

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spiderowl

spiderowl

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Who knows whether he is seeing multiple girls or not. What I do think though is that someone's phone should be their private place. As long as he is not cheating on you, why would you invade his privacy? Imagine if you had a picture of an ex or a guy whose picture you saw and liked and kept it for a giggle and to show your friends? What if your partner insisted on seeing it and looking through all the pics on your phone? I think you'd probably feel he did not trust you and was treating you like a child.

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knabe

knabe

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Who knows whether he is seeing multiple girls or not. What I do think though is that someone's phone should be their private place. As long as he is not cheating on you, why would you invade his privacy? Imagine if you had a picture of an ex or a guy whose picture you saw and liked and kept it for a giggle and to show your friends? What if your partner insisted on seeing it and looking through all the pics on your phone? I think you'd probably feel he did not trust you and was treating you like a child.

 

If you Can't understand the difference between one random picture of an ex and tons of different nude women, I'm not sure what to tell you.

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Jmiller597

Jmiller597

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Never once did I "invade his privacy." If you read my post you will see that his son and I were using his phone because of the app on it for a thermometer when he's sick. His son clicked his photos and they popped up. I didn't scroll through any of them...all the times I've seen nude photos on his phone he was using it right in front of me and they "accidentally" popped up. Also, I didn't ask to scroll through the phone and look at all the pictures....I simply asked for him to show me the date on the specific picture that I saw. Which he wouldn't do.

I agree, one picture here and there that's old, okay then.

But to have MULTIPLE pictures popping up at random times is suspicious too me, I think any normal female would want to know more.

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