Have any of you attempted pickup ?

[sprotz]

I am single and lonely and tired of living without a girlfriend. So I was thinking of attempting pickup for the first time ever.

But has any of you men attempted pickup? Like the ones demonstrated on those youtube videos? If so, where, and how did it go? What was the success rate? and how many dates before lay ?

[Shanex]

Never, not even when pissed drunk. I'm incapable of that.

 

For some guys it's being bold, and the worse of it is it can work. But you rarely learn this behavior, if you started as an introvert, timid guy.

[bradt93]

I am single and lonely and tired of living without a girlfriend. So I was thinking of attempting pickup for the first time ever.

But has any of you men attempted pickup? Like the ones demonstrated on those youtube videos? If so, where, and how did it go? What was the success rate? and how many dates before lay ?

If you just want sex only, buy an escort. Easy and you are not trapped in a relationship.

[sprotz]

If you just want sex only, buy an escort. Easy and you are not trapped in a relationship.

 

Out of the question. I want a loving caring girlfriend.

[GorillaTheater]

Out of the question. I want a loving caring girlfriend.

 

 

Then you don't want PUA stuff with the object of getting laid after X number of dates. What you want to do is two-fold:

 

 

1) Develop your people skills across the board. Get comfortable talking to men and women, young and old, attractive and not. That way you will already possess the skills and confidence to speak to an attractive woman without coming across as too awkward.

 

 

2) Make yourself an interesting person that people want to get to know. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Maybe things that you've thought about pursuing but haven't? Now would be a good time to start.

[sprotz]

I have no problem attracting girls, and luckily, I'm in a city littered with beautiful girls. Just that they all wait for me to approach first.So back to the main question ?

[GorillaTheater]

Just that they all wait for me to approach first.

 

 

So approach. See my point #1, above. If you learn to strike up a conversation with anyone, striking one up with a woman you find attractive is going to be pretty easy.

[preraph]

GorillaTheater is right. You have to be social to get social. If you are able to have and keep friends, you should be able to get a girlfriend. If you can't get and keep friends, you have a lot of work to do on yourself to get to the point you're ready.

[d0nnivain]

how many dates before lay ?

 

If that is your attitude, most women can sense you only want one thing & will run.

 

Out of the question. I want a loving caring girlfriend.

 

Then why did you ask about getting laid? You seem to be asking two different things.

 

I have no problem attracting girls, and luckily, I'm in a city littered with beautiful girls. Just that they all wait for me to approach first.So back to the main question ?

 

If you have no problem attracting woman, then you shouldn't need PUA BS. Most women hate those cheesy lines & over the top come ons. A simple sincere hello & a genuine desire to get to know her will be much better.

 

At their core, PUA is about having confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, no one will buy what you're selling.

[sprotz]

I asked about whether any of you has attempted pickup as depicted in those youtube videos, I.e you approach a girl on the street, or anywhere except college, have a coversation, and take her number ?

[GorillaTheater]

I asked about whether any of you has attempted pickup as depicted in those youtube videos, I.e you approach a girl on the street, or anywhere except college, have a coversation, and take her number ?

 

 

I don't know about the videos, but I can tell you that as a so-so looking guy I've never had much trouble "picking up" women in a variety of situations. I met my wife at the beach pretty randomly.

 

 

And how did I go about it? I TALKED to her like a human being. It ain't rocket science.

Edited May 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[cominghome]

PUA Community/Videos:

 

Yes, it works, but it's very shallow and vapid. Essentially, it teaches men to be unauthentic, and so the women they attract will typically be women who have lower self-esteem, even if they are physically attractive.

 

This does not lead to a great relationship.

 

If you're incapable of being real, then you won't attract someone whose real, so you're doomed to repeat a cycle of pickup, date, sleep with, possible relationship wrought with issues, breakup, and repeat.

 

-----

 

PUAs who get out of that mindset, find love, come back full circle and realize that all they needed in the first place was just more confidence!

 

To feel comfortable speaking with strangers and expect/welcome rejection. .... That there was no need to submerge themselves into a community based on techniques and tricks... leading to inevitable resentment and disillusionment of relationships and love in general.

 

 

Best to avoid PUA stuff, best to just practice striking conversations with everyone around you, men or women. Believe me, PUA stuff attracts the worst people, and you don't want to be involved with it.

[sprotz]

Some of your answers are too serious. Maybe some users here are old. Of course the pickup works, in all situations. In my case I like teenage girls, or young playful girls, All you need to do is start a conversation, be playful with her, and if you naturally like eachother, a relationship will start naturally.

[grays]

I dont understand why you want to use PUA tactics if chicks are so drawn to you anyway.

[basil67]

Some of your answers are too serious. Maybe some users here are old. Of course the pickup works, in all situations. In my case I like teenage girls, or young playful girls, All you need to do is start a conversation, be playful with her, and if you naturally like eachother, a relationship will start naturally.

 

If it's so easy and works in all situations, why have you been writing about being single and desperate? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/614272-what-wrong-us Just go and do it.

 

But at the age of 34, you really should be avoiding teenage girls. Unless you want to risk jail. Hopefully they have the smarts to avoid hanging out with a guy old enough to be their father.

[somanymistakes]

If it definitely always works for all people in all situations why were you even asking people here if they'd done it and how it went? Obviously they'd all be DRIPPING with girls.

[Bastile]

I am single and lonely and tired of living without a girlfriend. So I was thinking of attempting pickup for the first time ever.

But has any of you men attempted pickup? Like the ones demonstrated on those youtube videos? If so, where, and how did it go? What was the success rate? and how many dates before lay ?

 

It's changed my life dramatically. But some real statistics for you, so you know what you are in for, as most PUA's are full of it.

 

The type of game I use has a drop out rate of over 95% after the first month. That's higher than the navy seals, and that's what you are in for

 

I quit after about 3 weeks, and started online dating. That was avoidance, and I went back to it two weeks later.

 

Stats are generalisations. Men want them, because they want some kind of certainty on their investment. If I put in X amount of energy, I want a return of X amount of dates. This is not how life works. So, rough estimates:

 

Within 20 approaches, I am getting likely at least one date.

 

In three dates, with three different women, I am very likely having sex.

 

Throughout last year, I was trying to make 20 approaches each week, which was leading to almost having a new girlfriend each couple of months, and sex with a new woman usually monthly. This year, I've been lazier than that so far. Picking up my energy levels though for the summer now.

 

If all you want is a simple girlfriend, then meet-up groups are very easy ways to get one that don't require you to change your life in any sort of significant way. If you go down the pick-up route, it needs to become your new favourite hobby for it to work out. And you need to be prepared for most of what you think you know about women, yourself, and life to be challenged quite a bit.

[Imajerk17]

I will raise my hand. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I struggled to make connections when I was younger, and I decided to do everything I could to fix it. So I did get into PUA. And I got much better connecting with others, with women.

 

The big problem with PUA as I see it is that the emphasis is on flashy tricks and tactics and routines, instead of learning basic social skills--learning what masculinity feels like and how to express it. And it doesn't work. Look, women are attracted to your masculine energy, NOT to your routine stack that clearly doesn't fit you as you just downloaded it last week off the Internet for 299.95 USD

 

And so on that note, I must warn you to be careful, as PUA can make you WORSE off than you were before. As in, you go from being shy and awkward to being the creepy guy. Guys who have trouble with social cues will make mistakes ranging from "negging" someone about something they are sensitive about, to weirding a woman out with a comment they think is "edgy" but is instead violating, to awkwardly touching someone in a way too intimate place, even to coming across like a douche by trying to DHV (Display Higher Value) ect.

 

THAT SAID, I do think that it is GREAT that you are becoming proactive about your dating life and that you are willing to put yourself out there and do some approaches. And starting conversations with strangers can be hard, so having some ideas what to say would be good. To that end, I'd recommend that you look at the guys who are naturally great with women. See what they are doing, and try to tailor it to your personality. That I think would help you the most.

Edited May 27, 2017 by Imajerk17

[thefooloftheyear]

But at the age of 34, you really should be avoiding teenage girls. Unless you want to risk jail. Hopefully they have the smarts to avoid hanging out with a guy old enough to be their father.

 

Really....

 

Stay away from teen girls...FFS...

 

Good advice given in the previous posts...I'll only add this...

 

I don't think someone that is isn't social can "get" social...It almost NEVER works...I am pretty anti-social, withdrawn, and somewhat aloof...The thought of all of a sudden trying to be the center of attention and chatting it up with people(or especially women), makes my skin crawl..

 

With that said, I have never struggled meeting women...And it seems as women are bolder than ever these days, so its less pressure on guys..About the only thing i have wondered is if you only wait for those to come to you, then you are probably missing out on a whole bunch more options(those that arent bold and want the guy to make a move)..Can't worry about that as it really doesn't mean anything to me..

 

I think if you aren't social, then be bold and brash(but not arrogant) and confident and sophisticated...That shines through and doesn't ever need to be "sold" ...Take care of yourself and your body....I am a workout nut, and while I admittedly never spent a single day at the gym thinking my prospects would improve, nor would I say that being fit/muscular alone makes duds into studs, its certainly helps add to the package and doesn't need any gimmickry..

 

 

I knew nothing of PUA until I discovered this site..The little that I learned of it, is that it seems like a way to market self help to struggling guys and hence lighten their wallets..>I guess some guys can use it successfully, but what I know of women, the only ones that would fall for it are the hideously naive and the woefully desperate....Neither would appeal to me...I've watched guys on the street doing this and you see how most of the time all they are doing is embarrassing themselves..

 

.02

 

TFY

Edited May 27, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[somanymistakes]

Good advice given in the previous posts...I'll only add this...

 

I don't think someone that is isn't social can "get" social...It almost NEVER works...I am pretty anti-social, withdrawn, and somewhat aloof...The thought of all of a sudden trying to be the center of attention and chatting it up with people(or especially women), makes my skin crawl..

 

Obviously I am not a guy and not trying to pick up women so my perspective on this is pretty off, but... I kind of think that if you're bad at being social but you're willing to TRY a bunch of stuff, and most importantly NOT GET ANGRY at yourself/others if it doesn't work out, the practice is very likely to help you improve socially at least a little bit.

 

I mean, I guess it would depend on the techniques you're using and if you try to strictly follow a routine that doesn't work for you and ignore all signs of it not working, you'll dig yourself in deeper.

 

But I've heard that some of these PUA training routines start with simple things like approaching strangers just to say hello, not to hit on them, just to get you more used to talking to people out of the blue and not taking it hard when only some of them are interested. And that seems like a reasonable step for people who WANT to become more social, doesn't it?

[thefooloftheyear]

Obviously I am not a guy and not trying to pick up women so my perspective on this is pretty off, but... I kind of think that if you're bad at being social but you're willing to TRY a bunch of stuff, and most importantly NOT GET ANGRY at yourself/others if it doesn't work out, the practice is very likely to help you improve socially at least a little bit.

 

I mean, I guess it would depend on the techniques you're using and if you try to strictly follow a routine that doesn't work for you and ignore all signs of it not working, you'll dig yourself in deeper.

 

But I've heard that some of these PUA training routines start with simple things like approaching strangers just to say hello, not to hit on them, just to get you more used to talking to people out of the blue and not taking it hard when only some of them are interested. And that seems like a reasonable step for people who WANT to become more social, doesn't it?

 

 

Eh, I hear you, but I still feel at the end of the day, you should be true to yourself and not try to put on some kind of act or employ a gimmick to attract the opposite sex...If the goal is to do nothing more than get laid, I can see it, I guess....But it's no way to start a true relationship, IMO....

 

Its like this....and bear with me I am just trying to make a point, I don't know you, so dont take offense...Let's say you are a conservative type of woman with an average body and small breasts...You are struggling to meet guys...Your best friend tells you to go shopping for some trashy or revealing clothes, and pad your bra...Would you think that's a viable strategy? Will it better your chances at random connections? Sure....But how would you take that advice, assuming that scenario??

 

I mean no offense to any of the women on here and IRL, that give advice to struggling guys by telling them to be more sociable..."Get out of your comfort zone" and stuff like that...They are well intended and on the surface it looks like sound advice...I just don't necessarily agree that iys the best approach...Like stated, I believe in being true to yourself..

 

When I hear some of this, it makes a person think that the only guys out there getting laid and meeting women are the outgoing and gregarious types..Nothing further from the truth...Ive been around a while and of the guys I know/knew over the years that have done the best with attracting women, only one I can think of is the chatty and social type ...All the others are quiet and resolute...Letting their other characteristics(looks. physique. status, style, swagger, confidence, etc), "sell" themselves..

 

TFY

Edited May 28, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[elaine567]

I mean no offense to any of the women on here and IRL, that give advice to struggling guys by telling them to be more sociable..."Get out of your comfort zone" and stuff like that...They are well intended and on the surface it looks like sound advice...I just don't ne/77777777cessarily agree that iys the best approach...Like stated, I believe in being true to yourself..

 

When I hear some of this, it makes a person think that the only guys out there getting laid and meeting women are the outgoing and gregarious types..Nothing further from the truth...Ive been around a while and of the guys I know/knew over the years that have done the best with attracting women, only one I can think of is the chatty and social type ...All the others are quiet and resolute...Letting their other characteristics(looks. physique. status, style, swagger, confidence, etc), "sell" themselves..

 

TFY

 

The difference between the quiet, reserved and successful guys you mention and the struggling guys on here is that the guys on here are not working from a solid base of sociability.

It is perfectly possible to be quiet and reserved and still be highly sociable, still be able to start and maintain a good conversation, still be able to suss out body language, still be confident and still be able to attract women.

 

The struggling guys on here generally are not working from that base, hence the need for them to get out there, learn how to speak to people, get out of their comfort zone, and gain social skills and confidence.

No-one said they have to have the wit of a stand up comedian or be able to talk the hind legs off a donkey.

BUT they do often need to start from scratch and learn the basics, as somehow it has all passed them by, and now that they NEED a woman, she is not that interested, as there are more accomplished and polished men on the scene.

[anna121]

Some of your answers are too serious. Maybe some users here are old. Of course the pickup works, in all situations. In my case I like teenage girls, or young playful girls, All you need to do is start a conversation, be playful with her, and if you naturally like eachother, a relationship will start naturally.

 

Since you said you would be using it "for the first time ever", how do you know?

 

More to the point, why ask the question if you already know "all you need to do is..."? If that's all you need to do then I guess you need to go and.... do it.

 

Right? So....go do it and let us know when you have a loving, caring, teenage girlfriend.

[thefooloftheyear]

The difference between the quiet, reserved and successful guys you mention and the struggling guys on here is that the guys on here are not working from a solid base of sociability.

It is perfectly possible to be quiet and reserved and still be highly sociable, still be able to start and maintain a good conversation, still be able to suss out body language, still be confident and still be able to attract women.

 

The struggling guys on here generally are not working from that base, hence the need for them to get out there, learn how to speak to people, get out of their comfort zone, and gain social skills and confidence.

No-one said they have to have the wit of a stand up comedian or be able to talk the hind legs off a donkey.

BUT they do often need to start from scratch and learn the basics, as somehow it has all passed them by, and now that they NEED a woman, she is not that interested, as there are more accomplished and polished men on the scene.

 

Fair enough....I get what you are saying...

 

But here's where I differ.....

 

It's downright HARD for someone that isn't outgoing or sociable to be sociable...I wouldn't even try to change that aspect about myself...It would be a complete flop, imo...My personality just works for me...I know where my assets and liabilities are..and use them accordingly..

 

I'd be willing to bet if you took two average looking and socially challenged guys and tried an experiment, where one guy got coached on being more social and outgoing, while the other you didn't change that aspect of his personality, but changed his overall look and had him get into his best physical condition, that the second guy would crush the first one, in terms of attracting women and getting dating prospects...

 

A big part of why guys can't talk to women is that they lack confidence and don't feel sure of themselves...Better to do something to change that aspect rather than just trying to become more communicative or "slick"...I don't necessarily believe that would change how a person feels about themselves, especially if they aren't working in an area they feel comfortable,,

 

When it comes to interacting with women, there is no wizardry or secret language involved...And that's where I think PUA tries to make it appear...I;m not a buyer...But maybe I am wrong??

 

TFY

[somanymistakes]

Its like this....and bear with me I am just trying to make a point, I don't know you, so dont take offense...Let's say you are a conservative type of woman with an average body and small breasts...You are struggling to meet guys...Your best friend tells you to go shopping for some trashy or revealing clothes, and pad your bra...Would you think that's a viable strategy? Will it better your chances at random connections? Sure....But how would you take that advice, assuming that scenario??

 

heheh well I think it depends on what one's trying to achieve - for a lasting loving relationship, trying ot make yourself into something you're not is not going to work out very well. on the other hand if your friends are trying to get you to dress up like that to go out and live a little and broaden your horizons so that later on when you're ready to look seriously, you're more confident and capable and relaxed, then maybe?

 

really a lot of girls WOULD pressure their wallflower friend to try something like that once to see what it's like.

 

but i wouldn't pay $600 for a course in it!