idb874 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 So first post here... I came to this website to get some real advice. My little sister has been sick for a little over two years, she just turned 16, so since she was 14 she has been too sick to go to school. It took over a year and a half to get her diagnosis right, eventually she tested positive for bartonella/babesia ( a cousin of malaria.. I know in America right.) These two bugs came along with lyme disease. Because she's so late term it's very serious. My mom has been working day and night to raise money for her treatment, along with putting her on a strict diet and vitamin/nutrient plan to keep her immune system up and working. Fast forward a few months later, after the specialist who put her on antibiotics. The medication has to be taken slowly. If too many bugs die off at once it causes extreme reactions...not enough and sizeurs (sp?) start. My mom is a single Mother, since her divorce with my step-dad, who is my little sisters father. Which was about three or four years ago. Basically my step-dad is totally useless, which of course is detrimental to my sisters state of mind, feelings of unloved and invisableness. Basically, I need to be there for her for emotional support. But very importantly, to watch her and make sure she doesn't react to the medication while my mother is working. Also, I will probably work as well... Negatives for me are that I would have to quit my job and move to south carolina, putting my career on hold and just hoping my company is understanding enough to take me back in a couple of months. I am 24 so i'm just starting to take off really...getting real positive feedback, higher ups talking about management opportunities in the future...etc. Also my boyfriend is going to be devastated. I don't think he will be supportive. I think he will be worried about paying bills on his own more than anything else... And I don't want it to hurt our relationship... But my mother already has resentment towards him..I believe she thinks that I haven't come down to help yet because of my relationship with him, which is entirely true. I would be with them already if I wasn't in a commited relationship to him... How do I break the news to him, have him feel good about paying all the bills alone for a few months.. (oh neither of us have a savings account) and how does that not hurt our relationship?? Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I think it’s really sweet of you to be making this sacrifice to be with your little sister. Regarding talking to your BF, I would suggest that you be upfront about it and see how it goes. Sending prayers for your sister, that God will touch her with His healing hand and restore her to perfect health, according to His will. May He surround you, your sister, and your mom with His peace and provide for your family’s needs in the coming days. ((Hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Life happens. You are doing what you need to do for family. If your BF doesn't see that as a good thing, well I'd question his humanity & his priorities. Maybe he'll surprise you. Tell him sooner than later. Talk through all the options. Best wishes. I'll say a prayer for your sister & your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 (edited) The problem is you do not know how long you will be needed there. You can ask your company for a family illness leave however long they provide or the law provides, but you'd have to come back at that time. Your bf will just have to understand. Without you there, he can take a second part time job to pay the bills. Not sure how you can work and watch your sister at the same time because you'll have to sleep sometime. You are in the US, so I don't understand why the doctor has not prescribed a home nurse for you to help with this. That's what usually happens when someone needs home care. Also, if your mother is out of money, she can apply for benefits until Trump stops it. And there are charities who help in some situations too, especially with children. So I suggest you first ask the doctor to get home care on the way. Then your mother can start looking into benefits if she has gone broke. It may only be food stamps, but once she's broke, maybe Medicaid will kick in. Get some help and maybe you won't have to move. Edited May 26, 2017 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
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