I need clarity

[Merhistheword]

Ok, so here goes a little background information. My girlfriend and I are going on two years now. We decided to move into together around September. We both mutually agreed that we would split everything 50/50. The first month everything was perfect, we were splitting bills, everything was paid. After the first month we both lost our jobs but because I still had a source of income I was paying the majority of things and just ask for her to split rent, and pay gas, if she could(since she started bartending at a club). The only thing i asked of her was to let me know if she couldnt pay or would be short, no big deal. I am currently on a fix income and receive almost 1900 a month, thats it. Rent and utilities all together are over 2100, not including my separate bills. I recently took on a part time job while I complete school, to help more. Every month she would tell me she would have rent, the first of the month comes and she didnt have her half, so now we are running around trying to figure it out. I cant lie, that was irritating...not because she didnt have it but because she didnt let me know that she needed help or wouldnt have it. If i knew she would need help i WOULD have figured it out..The same crap has been going on for almost 6 months so I finally told her, ill pay rent which is 1125

..you get the utilities, that way we wouldn't be late every month paying rent and because she wasnt working again. She agrees and for the first month it works out. The next month i remind her of everything thats due and the amount. She let me know that she would have money and bills will be paid. I ask her every day if she was able to pay water which was the first utility due for the month. She claimed that it wasnt due until the 19th. I said nothing else about it. I wake up one morning and waters off! She trys telling me it wasnt her fault because it wasnt due until the 19th...it was now the 22nd.i end up finding the money and paying it.now the gas is due (which has always been her agreed bill). She couldn't pay water so i knew she won't be able to pay gas so i ask amount and due date.. She tells me.."Well, i believe its the 26th or 28th, i cant remember." I keep asking her to call for date and amount (its in her name) she doesn't, just continued to say i think. So i call myself. They tell me its due im two dayS and we have to pay 444 to avoid disconnection!!!INSANE! I DON'T say anything and now just try to make the extra money to pay it . Well today is the due date and i asked if she called... She tells me no and that it isn't due yet. So im still saying please just call to be sure. I honestly just wanted to see how far she would let us DROWN before saying something or calling. Obviously she doesnt understand how to be an adult or a partner!(didnt say that to her but its what i feel). Finally I tell her its due now because i called. She broke up with me for not having faith in her and because i went behind her back and called!CRAZY! How am i wrong here?

[preraph]

This is kind of like the housekeeping disagreement where the guy says he'll take out the trash but never does it when it needs to be taken out and there's no room for more trash and he still gets mad that she's angry about it and telling him what to do. Things need to be done timely.

 

She probably was not going to ever be good about paying the bills. Some people pay them a certain day after they get their check before they spend money on anything else. Some people wait until they're about to get cut off to pay them and incur late fees. She wasn't concerned enough about it that I think she was ever going to be reliable enough to get it done on time.

 

You know, there's a lot of people you can love but not live with. Lots. So just let her go and keep looking. Good luck.

[d0nnivain]

You are not wrong. You two breaking up is a good thing. She's irresponsible & you know it. Love doesn't fix all. Be happy this drain on your finances is gone.