Think I've lost a friend

[oman0115]

I'll start by saying I went to the Drs last week, I e been suffering with depresssion for a long time now. I'm on tablets and I'm struggling generally with work and lift at the moment.

 

One of my closest friends is a woman, we are friends and only have been. I asked her out once but she said no and it didn't affect our friendship. We carried on like nothing happened. Last week was awful for me and we were texting and i told her my problems and she told me she's met someone. I lost it told her I care about her and I don't want to hear about her dating.

 

Since then she was cold for 4 days, barely texting as usual. I apologised and said I was in a bad place and don't want to ruin our friendship. She says it's ok but I know it's not.

 

I don't know why I reacted like that, I do love her but as a friend and I don't really find her physically attractive. I'm worried she now does. She has no idea how low I feel but the thought of losing her friendship kills me. I've not text her for awhile and don't think it's right to do so. Is it best to leave her alone and let her come around, will she even come around is that enough to scare a woman off for good. I miss not bouncing off each other and knowing what she's up to / if she's ok

[d0nnivain]

You really put your foot in your mouth. Texting won't fix this. Go to the store. Buy a card that says you are sorry. Write the card to her:

 

Dear Friend:

 

I was a jerk last week. I don't know why I said what I said. I am genuinely happy for you that you found somebody to date. I hope he treats you well because you deserve to be happy. Please forgive me. I wish you all the best. I will always be here for you. Can't wait to meet the new guy, when you're ready of course.

 

In deepest friendship,

 

oman0115

 

Put a stamp on it & mail it to her.

[spiderowl]

Why did you not want to hear about her dating if you only see yourself as a friend? I suspect you would rather be more than friends, in which case I can understand your reaction. It is hard to be friends with someone you feel more for.

 

If it was not the above, then maybe you felt jealous of her for finding someone to date when you are feeling so low? Again, that's understandable.

 

If you still want her to be your friend, apologise profusely. Tell her you were having a bad time and it was not right of you to complain at her. Hopefully she will change her mind.

 

It is hard not to get upset with people when you are feeling down and struggling. It is not the way to go obviously. Can you arrange to see a counsellor or something? Another angle on things always helps relieve the stress a bit.

[preraph]

Just be sure she knows you have been really depressed and that you are now adjusting to new medication for the depression. Sometimes anger comes with depression. Just tell her you've been emotional lately. I think she'll understand.

[whichwayisup]

If she is a real friend, she'll understand and look past this, not let it get in the way. And she should take into consideration this:

I'll start by saying I went to the Drs last week, I e been suffering with depresssion for a long time now. I'm on tablets and I'm struggling generally with work and lift at the moment.

 

Life is hard for you and you're going through a tough time. Though that's not an excuse to unload anger at her... I like the idea of sending a card. Then let her come to you, give her space in the meantime.