Fresnite Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hello, I was wondering what is the proper way to handle a first date kiss. Is it best to ask, "May I kiss you? " Or just go for it with full confidence. Or is it best to just not kiss at all on a first date? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 If she seems to be having fun and enjoying herself w you, then you should just go for it. Don't force anything though. Even if she isn't ready, she'll respect you for trying. I'm not a fan of asking nor am I a fan of holding off. Many women are turned on by a bold assertive man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tetrahedral Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 No. If you have to ask, it means you haven't been paying attention to her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 If by "just go for it with full confidence" you mean dive in at high speed, that might not be the best plan Asking with words is fine if you're not sure she wants you to (it's better to confirm than to screw up) but it's not necessary in general. If you're good with social situations you should have some idea of how she feels, and the body language of slowly maneuvering yourself in for the kiss gives her time to bow out if she's not interested. The pause and slow move-in IS asking. Not all communication has to be in words. If you do ask with words, some will find it cute, some will be pleased at your gentlemanly nature, and some will find it awkward and dorky. Even if she isn't ready, she'll respect you for trying. This kind of thinking on the other hand sounds gross, sorry. Why would I 'respect' you for attempting to do something to me I didn't want? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIvy Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I rather a man just go for it, even I am attracted to him. You gotta read her body language though. If she has been flirty on the date, smiling and laughing a lot, engaging with you. I think she wouldn't mind you going for it. If she doesn't seem interested, then I wouldn't go for it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 You have to master the art of asking without using words. It sounds silly but watch the movie Hitch if you don't know what I'm talking about. You make eye contact, you lean in a bit, she leans in, somebody licks their lips . . . & then magic. If you are over 20 don't verbalize the Q. It will ruin the moment. If you are in your early teens it might be OK / respectful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Power_Forward Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Sometimes women don't give off clear signals, and you have to ask. Once I went out with this nerdy looking girl who was decently hot and I couldn't make heads or tails of what she was thinking during the date. For a good while I thought she hated me. I ended up asking her if I could kiss her and she said yes. She turned out to be very promiscuous and was ready to go way beyond kissing that evening. But usually you want to read the signals and body language and go in with full confidence. Touch during the date: her hands, her arms, rub her back if you can. Maybe go for a walk and hold hands. Then go for the kiss all of a sudden without warning. The worst that will happen is she will either slap you or push you away. No big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I always ask permission for any physical escalation but never with words. It's all body language. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Don't ask. Makes you look like a wuss. If you've been paying attention and if you've been escorting her on the date like a gentleman, then you have already had your hand on her back or elbow showing her through a door or into her seat. So you should know whether she pulled back from that touch or seemed just relaxed with it. Most women aren't going to be over the top flirty the way guys seem to expect them to be. But if she's not shied away from your touch and IF you had a good time talking and a nice connection and she smiled and laughed with you, then as you drop her off at the end of the evening, tell her you had a good time and then lean in for a *quick* tongueless mouth kiss and then immediately turn on your heel and leave. Make contact the next day and see how receptive she is. If she accepts a second date, then next time, longer kiss, a little hand holding. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I don't wait until the end of the evening and haven't as a matter of dating policy for at least 5 years now. If we are enjoying ourselves and she seems receptive I kiss her in the middle of the date. I ask her when I can see her again before the "Goodnight kiss" I never sleep with her on the first date if I am interested in a relationship. I want to show that although I want her I have some self-control. E.g., with my current gf on our first date I could tell she was receptive so I kissed her. I pulled back and said cockily, "now you don't have to wonder if I'm going to kiss you later then we immediately kissed again. She bit my lower lip gently. I pulled away and restarted the conversation lest it become a full-blown make out session right there in the bar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fresnite Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Thank you all for your input 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts