TheLittleBuizel Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Even if it's to random strangers, I really need to vent and some help would be nice too, while I'm at it. This first bit doesn't have much to do with my relationship problems, but I feel it may be fueling my anxiety towards it, so hear me out. I've been having unknown sleep issues that have been causing me exhaustion during the first few hours of school, which means I can't get nearly as much work done for my first few classes of the day(I'm a freshman in high school). On top of this, it is very difficult to get work done at home because I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). This combination of problems is causing me to fail one class (English 9), and nearly fail another (AP Computer Science Principles) This is causing great anxiety because I've NEVER done this horribly in school. Also recently, I've been thinking about romantic relationships A LOT more. Not like some high schoolers who just want to have sex because puberty, but actual love (god I sound cheesy) There's this girl I like. A lot. She's super kind and cute as hell. I'm scared she doesn't like me back. Since I have diagnosed anxiety, there's no way I'm straight telling her without developing a stronger friendship, but I've hinted at my love a couple times. My concerns are (A. There's this other dude who she hangs around a lot(can't tell if they like each other or if they're just good friends) and (B. She's told me I'm like a little brother. Because of problem B, I know I'm going to have to accept the fact that the chances of us being together are pretty low... At night times when my mind's calmed down I tend to think about her and love in general a lot and then I get very anxious. Very nervous. I want to love someone and for them to love me back. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a little desperate right now, but I promised myself I wouldn't let that blind me from seeing actual, genuine love. I've just been so stressed out lately as a combination of everything stated in this giant post(sorry about that) and I just don't know what to do other than vent. If you think you know any way to help me, I'd appreciate that very much! If you don't, thank you for reading, just had to get this off my chest. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Tell your parents that you are having trouble sleeping & you think that is adversely affecting your school work. They may be able to get you to a doctor to help with the sleep. Some good sleep tips: avoid all electronics -- TV, your computer & most importantly your phone for 1 hour before you are ready to go to sleep. have your room be a refuge -- clean, fresh smelling, cool so you can sleep better have lavender somewhere near your room develop a bed time routine -- go to bed at the same time every day & do the same things right before bed As for the anxiety, learn to practice mindfulness. Look it up. It's about being present in the moment & dealing with the here & now, not worrying about the future. You control your breathing. Have a peppermint before you study. It helps with concentration. As you get your grades under control, hopefully your confidence will come back & you will better be able to interact with this girl. For now smile at her when you can. Be nice to her. Talk to her if you can. Basically get to know her. When the time is right, maybe next fall, ask her to a school event. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I'm sorry to tell you this, but if she told you you're like a little brother, there is no chance with this girl. She doesn't even see you as a man or as attractive to say that. So you may as well stop thinking about going down that road. I'm sure she knows you have a crush which is why she found it necessary to say that. That's a no. Sorry. You say you're diagnosed with anxiety, so what is your doctor having you do about it? Are you on anti-anxiety meds? Have you at least tried them? Are you in talk therapy? Does he think it's all chemical or also emotional? You will have to work on this stuff and get to where you can function before you're able to reel in a woman. Do you have lots of guy friends or are you too anxious to have friends? Do you have lots of activities outside the home or do you avoid that because of your anxiety? Just trying to get an idea because if you have some close friends and go outside the home and do things together and enjoy it, then you are probably social enough to have a girlfriend once you meet one who likes you back. But if those things are too much for you, then you need to work on yourself to get to the point where you can enjoy having friends and being social before anything else. Because you have to be social to get social, and the first step is same-sex friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheLittleBuizel Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 My parents know about the sleeping issue. I'm trying everything possible, but thank you for trying to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheLittleBuizel Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 @preraph Yeah, I figured there wasn't a chance. Also, yes, I am on meds. 30mg of fluoxitine in the morning daily. It's very helpful but my anxiety is getting worse as a result of all these issues I've been having so I may increase the dosage next time I see my psychiatrist. I'm a very social person, I prefer to be with friends for most of my time. I have one guy I hang out around a lot at school, and two others over Discord. Link to post Share on other sites
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