I know I'm going to feel lonely over summer.

[LightWave93]

I've come to the conclusion that summer is a miserable time for me, which essentially boils down to a number of factors. I go home for the student holiday and live in an area with not a lot around me to do, with no friends who live local as they've all traveled back home themselves. Most of my hobbies are pretty much solitary, and while they do keep me productive I eventually just get bored of doing the same thing for weeks on end. I'm fortunate enough to have a work placement for about a week at one point, but other than that I have no job, though I am considering doing volunteer work again. I've also got no one to speak to because I'm still on "cooldown" for counselling sessions. I've felt down the last few days (after a good few months of being alright), and last night I came to the realization that the reason being is because this time of year is two years since I got broken up with, so there's a sense of familiarity lingering (plus a reminder I'm still single). All-in-all, I'm a bit stuck. I've made it known I want to do something over summer and even asked a few people directly, but I get the feeling much like every summer before that I'm pretty much going to be alone for the next few months.

 

Any suggestions on what I can do?

[d0nnivain]

Take a summer class? Arrange to go meet a classmate somewhere. Have a class mate travel to you. Get a summer job.

 

 

Where are your friends from grade school & high school?

 

 

Try picking up a hobby or sport that isn't so solitary.

[LightWave93]

Take a summer class? Arrange to go meet a classmate somewhere. Have a class mate travel to you. Get a summer job.

 

Not sure if you read the part where I've tried arranging things with others?

 

 

Where are your friends from grade school & high school?

 

Don't have any. Lost contact after.

 

Try picking up a hobby or sport that isn't so solitary.

 

Like I said, the area I live in hasn't got a lot to do. I am able to travel but then I've got to think of costs, plus I sadly never make friends at these sort of events/clubs anyway.

[preraph]

There's a whole wide world out there but you've opted to stay in your small one. All you have to do is decide to branch out.

 

Yes, you should definitely volunteer. It's good in just about every way imaginable, good for them, good for you, and gives perspective, and may be good socially.

 

Otherwise, you need to at least take up one new interest that is done outside the home and with other people. I know this isn't your comfort zone, but your comfort zone is what got you to the lonely place you are now.

 

So maybe that is a new volunteer opportunity. Maybe you go shovel antelope crap at the zoo or work in their food barn. Maybe you work with humans in some capacity.

 

Maybe you decide to take a fun summer course at the community college in kayaking or you join an online group who likes to go tubing or river rafting. Maybe you foster a dog or a cat. Maybe you take a job in retail or as a server where you'll meet all the fellow employees as well as the customers. You just need to get OUT of the house!

[LightWave93]

[]

 

Maybe you decide to take a fun summer course at the community college...

 

Thanks for this! You reminded me that I want to take up a first aid course.

 

Maybe you take a job in retail or as a server where you'll meet all the fellow employees as well as the customers.

 

I can't stand retail; did it for a number of years. Push comes to shove I will volunteer at a charity shop or something, but I'd rather do something more engaging.

Edited April 10, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Rude ~6

[Blanco]

Where does this rubbish come from? Did you not read my OP at all?

 

It's a mentality, though, and yours is pretty bleak and cynical on a lot of subjects.

 

Unless you live in a one streetlight town, there's gotta be a few things you can get involved in around you, if not within short driving distance.

[LightWave93]

It's a mentality, though, and yours is pretty bleak and cynical on a lot of subjects.

 

Unless you live in a one streetlight town, there's gotta be a few things you can get involved in around you, if not within short driving distance.

 

I'd call it an accurate representation of my life, because that's what it is. I appreciate the advice you people give me on here, but you all comment as if I don't try to change my situation.

 

Yeah, I can drive so travel isn't an issue bar finances. The problem is it's the general area that's quiet; it's in the country and activities tend to be tailored towards older folk.

[d0nnivain]

So reconnect. If you are still in college it can't have been that long since you have seen old friends from high school. Reach out to a few of them. They will probably be glad to hear from you.

 

 

You have a job for a week. That's not a job. Get an actual summer job -- life guard; bartender; work as a food server; do dreaded retail (it's only for 16 weeks & it's about meeting people not a life time career choice); work construction. Just make money.

 

 

Do volunteer somewhere. It will get you out of the house.

 

 

If you can't take a class for credit at the local community college consider an on line course. It won't help with your social schedule but it will get you credits & possibly lighten your load during the semester.

[LightWave93]

So reconnect. If you are still in college it can't have been that long since you have seen old friends from high school. Reach out to a few of them. They will probably be glad to hear from you.

 

Don't have friends from High School/College.

 

 

You have a job for a week. That's not a job. Get an actual summer job -- life guard; bartender; work as a food server; do dreaded retail (it's only for 16 weeks & it's about meeting people not a life time career choice); work construction. Just make money.

 

Do plan to, just a case of finding one.

[d0nnivain]

Don't have friends from High School/College..

 

 

You initially said you had lost contact with them. Now you are saying you went through life without a single friend. Which is it? If there was somebody you were pals with in school, get back in touch. I bet they will be happy to hear from you.

[LightWave93]

You initially said you had lost contact with them. Now you are saying you went through life without a single friend. Which is it? If there was somebody you were pals with in school, get back in touch. I bet they will be happy to hear from you.

 

I had very few friends, and we lost contact straight after. I'm not getting back in contact with them.

[Blanco]

So I'm curious, do you just find some solace in lamenting about the bleak aspects of life? It seems like no matter the topic, advice sent your way is pretty much always rebuffed.

 

Again, it's all about mentality. My brother and I grew up in the same area under the same circumstances. I was often the one who felt like there wasn't a whole lot to do during down time. My brother, on the other hand, was constantly on the go. He was involved in so many extracurricular activities that I got fatigued just watching him come and go.

 

We had different interests, sure, but I think the root of this disparity between how we spent our free time was in mentality. My brother has always been a proactive, get-stuff-done sort of guy, whereas I've usually been more reactive and passive.

 

You strike me as the kind of guy who sort of needs things to fall into your lap, otherwise you deem the situation impossible. I say that as someone who has spent more of his life than he'd like to admit living that way.

[LightWave93]

So I'm curious, do you just find some solace in lamenting about the bleak aspects of life? It seems like no matter the topic, advice sent your way is pretty much always rebuffed.

 

What suggestions have I rebuffed? Contacting high school friends? I don't want to be in contact with them, and it's been eight years since we last spoke anyway.

 

You strike me as the kind of guy who sort of needs things to fall into your lap, otherwise you deem the situation impossible.

 

Then you clearly pick and choose what you read in my threads, because I am not a passive individual, I am VERY proactive. Blimey, it wasn't long ago I was working five jobs whilst trying to balance my fitness, social life and studies; clearly I'm lazy and don't work to get things in my life. Things haven't gone as well as I'd have hoped, but it's not for lack of trying that I seem destined to be a lonely individual.

Edited April 10, 2017 by LightWave93

[basil67]

What suggestions have I rebuffed? Contacting high school friends? I don't want to be in contact with them, and it's been eight years since we last spoke anyway.

 

Then you clearly pick and choose what you read in my threads, because I am not a passive individual, I am VERY proactive. Blimey, it wasn't long ago I was working five jobs whilst trying to balance my fitness, social life and studies; clearly I'm lazy and don't work to get things in my life. Things haven't gone as well as I'd have hoped, but it's not for lack of trying that I seem destined to be a lonely individual.

 

You have rebuffed every suggestion/observation by d0nnivain and one by preraph. Then you rebuffed Blanco's observation that you're rebuffing everything. (I'm not sure if you saw the irony there) And when I log back in tomorrow, you will have rebuffed this. It is your way.

 

Your commenting style was exactly the same on the 'can't find a girlfriend' thread. Pretty much every suggestion and observation made by a myriad of posters were rebuffed by you. Given the amount of time you spend rejecting so many suggestions and thoughts, I'm really not sure why you ask our opinions. It would appear that you think we know nothing.

[LightWave93]

You have rebuffed every suggestion/observation by d0nnivain and one by preraph. Then you rebuffed Blanco's observation that you're rebuffing everything. (I'm not sure if you saw the irony there) And when I log back in tomorrow, you will have rebuffed this. It is your way.

 

Your commenting style was exactly the same on the 'can't find a girlfriend' thread. Pretty much every suggestion and observation made by a myriad of posters were rebuffed by you. Given the amount of time you spend rejecting so many suggestions and thoughts, I'm really not sure why you ask our opinions. It would appear that you think we know nothing.

 

A lot of what you have suggested, doesn't work for me.

 

This is an entirely different thread anyway. I'm asking for suggestions on what to do over summer. I'm being to accept I will never find a partner.

 

If you're annoyed by my postings or otherwise dislike me, then you don't have to comment.