Am I a jerk?

[bradt93]

I was just wondering what you all thought of this, me being a virgin and wanting to have sex, should I feel ashamed for hiring an escort? I feel like it would be a good experience for me, because I feel it would give me confidence to ask women out after my encounter. I don't want to sound like a pig.

[avvril3000]

You're not a jerk for wanting to hire an escort. But do you really want your first sexual experience to be with someone you paid to put on some act to be intimate with you, rather than someone real who wants to be with you coz they wanna be with you. You need to think about this. This is going to be a memory of your first time for the rest of your life.

 

i think most people would agree with me and say, just wait till you find that person, as frustrating as it may be, i say it will be more worth it your first time with a real genuine person than a paid escort.

[shrah25]

I was just wondering what you all thought of this, me being a virgin and wanting to have sex, should I feel ashamed for hiring an escort? I feel like it would be a good experience for me, because I feel it would give me confidence to ask women out after my encounter. I don't want to sound like a pig.

 

Hi @bradt93

 

Thanks for your message.

 

Well, you've brought up a topic that a lot of guys think about but very rarely want to talk about so I honour you for that.

 

Firstly, I don't think you are a jerk. You're just demonstrating the typical male tendencies to (a) Want to get the monkey off your back so to speak (b) Want to ensure that you perform well and escorts will give you that discrete environment to do so.

 

I'm not sure at this stage whether you are feeling some frustration that you are a virgin and this has led you to explore the idea of an escort but I would never judge you for it, nor should you.

 

One thing I will say is that I do know of a number of people i've worked with who have has an escort for their first time and the majority of them wished they hadn't.

 

So I guess the question is what is your intention when it comes to going down this path. Ask yourself why and then you will be able to get clear on whether you should or shouldn't.

 

Hope that makes sense.

 

Thanks

Sri

[bradt93]

Hi @bradt93

 

Thanks for your message.

 

Well, you've brought up a topic that a lot of guys think about but very rarely want to talk about so I honour you for that.

 

Firstly, I don't think you are a jerk. You're just demonstrating the typical male tendencies to (a) Want to get the monkey off your back so to speak (b) Want to ensure that you perform well and escorts will give you that discrete environment to do so.

 

I'm not sure at this stage whether you are feeling some frustration that you are a virgin and this has led you to explore the idea of an escort but I would never judge you for it, nor should you.

 

One thing I will say is that I do know of a number of people i've worked with who have has an escort for their first time and the majority of them wished they hadn't.

 

So I guess the question is what is your intention when it comes to going down this path. Ask yourself why and then you will be able to get clear on whether you should or shouldn't.

 

Hope that makes sense.

 

Thanks

Sri

What have they said about their experiences if you don't mind me asking.

[preraph]

Brad, I worry about you getting totally taken advantage of by an escort. They are bloodsuckers who are interested in nothing except taking your money. I just worry you might believe their sob stories and feel like you have a relationship. They all have a sob story to try to milk more money out of naive guys.

 

I'd feel better about it if you went to Vegas and hired a legal one and then left the next day and never communicated with her again.

[Power_Forward]

I was just wondering what you all thought of this, me being a virgin and wanting to have sex, should I feel ashamed for hiring an escort? I feel like it would be a good experience for me, because I feel it would give me confidence to ask women out after my encounter. I don't want to sound like a pig.

 

I feel like if you're young, you should do things the hard way, so to speak. The main reason is because it builds character, it builds inner worth and value.

 

This world is really f**cked up. It doesn't give a **** about you. The only way to make it through is to have some kind of inner code, some kind of inner foundation that lets you weather the storm and create something meaningful in your life.

 

If you start taking the easy way now, you may never develop this foundation. Building it takes work and effort, and comes from meeting challenges, from rising up each time you're defeated.

 

If you don't recognize your inner worth now, then every vice this world has to offer will consume you...

[bradt93]

Brad, I worry about you getting totally taken advantage of by an escort. They are bloodsuckers who are interested in nothing except taking your money. I just worry you might believe their sob stories and feel like you have a relationship. They all have a sob story to try to milk more money out of naive guys.

 

I'd feel better about it if you went to Vegas and hired a legal one and then left the next day and never communicated with her again.

Oh you mean the "bunny ranch"

[Dru76]

I don't think you're a jerk, but I think it would be a mistake. My boyfriend, who also has Asperger's, was a virgin into his 20's due to social awkwardness with women. He ended up saying the hell with it and hooked up with the first willing girl on Tinder just to get it over with. Apparently it was an awful experience that he regrets.

[elaine567]

A big part in anyone's life is the idea that someone wants you, someone finds you wildly attractive, and someone will then want to have sex with you.

 

An escort doesn't want you, doesn't find you attractive and doesn't actually want to have sex with you either, but will do so, to get the money she wants.

 

So whilst you will find out what is is like to have your penis inside a woman, it will not help you find a woman who will truly want to have sex with you.

It will not boost your confidence, as you know she didn't actually want to have sex with you, she was just going through the motions and I guess that realisation will hit you like a kick in the teeth in the cold light of day.

 

I also agree with Preraph, you may easily become the victim of a scam.

"She says I am not like all the rest, she genuinely loves me, but I need to keep paying her for sex, as her bf/pimp will beat her up if I don't..."

[preraph]

Oh you mean the "bunny ranch"

 

No. I think they're at any hotel in Vegas just looking for you at the bar! The legal ones have health standards to meet and aren't as likely to rip you off or put you in the middle of a pimp because they are more likely self-employed.

[Hoosfoos]

It'll probably cost you less in the long run, financially and emotionally.

[Simple Logic]

I was just wondering what you all thought of this, me being a virgin and wanting to have sex, should I feel ashamed for hiring an escort? I feel like it would be a good experience for me, because I feel it would give me confidence to ask women out after my encounter. I don't want to sound like a pig.

 

Why would paying to have sex give you confidence asking out women? Asking a woman on a date has nothing to do with sex or your sexual experiance. If any thing, all paying an escort is going to do is make you more comfortable buying more escorts.

[Simple Logic]

No. I think they're at any hotel in Vegas just looking for you at the bar! The legal ones have health standards to meet and aren't as likely to rip you off or put you in the middle of a pimp because they are more likely self-employed.

 

You obviously know nothing about prostitution in Nevada. Prostitution is only legal in 24 licensed brothels. Prostitution is illegal in both Vegas and Reno.

 

While there are plenty of prostitutes in both cities, they meet no health standards and some may be cops acting as prostitutes.

[Pete2304]

You're not a jerk but I'd say don't do it because if you do I'd bet my last penny you end up falling for her and all that will come from that is an empty heart and an even emptier bank account.