Typicalsoldier Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 I fell in love with a girl in a long distance relationship that lasted about 3 months, and we had made all these long term plans because honestly, she could have been the one but she broke up with me because of the distance but 2 days later she was with another guy which made me skeptical about the reason why she left me, it was about 2 weeks since the Break up and we had argued a couple times because I wanted the truth, she sends me a message yesterday saying that she'll always love me and she wants us to stay friends, but when we start talking, I can tell that she wants more, she says that we would still be together if I was closer. She then says that she's still in love with me and that she doesn't want to forget me and she thinks I could be the father of her children. When I ask if she loves her new boyfriend she says yes but isn't sure how long it'll work out with him. I gave her the option that I never speak to her again because it could be just a question of time and she'll eventually get over me but she said she's sure she will never. When I called her she kept saying how happy I made her and it's not the same with her new boyfriend, I asked her if it wasn't just filling a sexual desire I created but couldn't fill because of the distance and she thinks that it's that but still loves him, but she kept saying over and over that she was in love with me and that she wants to runaway with me and to live together and all that stuff. I don't want to give her an ultimatum but I can't wait until things fall apart naturally with her new boyfriend and then she can be with me. I would wait if I knew that it'd last another week and nothing happens between them, but if it lasts months I need to move on. One thing that I'm having trouble accepting is that we were both sexually inactive before we met and our first sexual acts were together through the phone, but she said that she preformed oral on him about 3 times and vice versa the first time being only a few days after going out with him, so I can't stay with her in a "non official emotional relationship" while she has a physical relationship with her boyfriend, it kills me to think of what happened between them after such a little amount of time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Let her go. She can't handle the distance. It really isn't about you. I believe her when she says if you were closer you'd be together. The circumstances are beyond her tolerance. Once you finish your service & are home permanently, discretely see if she's with anybody. If she's free, see if you can start something. If not, keep a fond memory of her as the one who got away. Talk to your NCO or your CO if you still feel blue. They will help you keep your focus. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 #1 Have you ever met in person? You only mention phone interaction. #2 Is one of you going to move to the other in a prescribed time period? Concrete plans to do so in place? (E.g. moving van scheduled, new job lined up, living arrangements in the new location secured) If the answer to either question is "no," this is simply an exercise in futility and wishful thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Very complicated situation Not so complicated however your mind has made it complicated… I fell in love with a girl in a long distance relationship that lasted about 3 months we had made all these long term plans because honestly, she could have been the one but she broke up with me because of the distance 2 days later she was with another guy which made me skeptical about the reason why she left me, it was about 2 weeks since the Break up we had argued a couple times because I wanted the truth, she sends me a message yesterday saying that she'll always love me and she wants us to stay friends, No, never stay friends with an Ex, they are and ex for a reason... but when we start talking, I can tell that she wants more, she says that we would still be together if I was closer. She then says that she's still in love with me and that she doesn't want to forget me and she thinks I could be the father of her children. Exactly why there as so many crazy couples on daytime courtroom TV shows bitter and angry and taking DNA tests... When I ask if she loves her new boyfriend she says yes but isn't sure how long it'll work out with him. I gave her the option that I never speak to her again because it could be just a question of time and she'll eventually get over me but she said she's sure she will never. I can't wait until things fall apart naturally with her new boyfriend and then she can be with me. we were both sexually inactive before we met and our first sexual acts were together through the phone, Seriously!? she said that she preformed oral on him about 3 times So she shares this tidbit of info, who does that? it kills me to think of what happened between them after such a little amount of time. You need therapy, she has seriously jacked with your head. I hope the excuse for your pining is that she is seriously hot. this is simply an exercise in futility and wishful thinking. Yup Let her go. Definitely.. Way too many folks have a hopeless addiction to drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Typicalsoldier Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 ****, what I meant to say was: she thinks that one day (if we were still together obviously) she would like to have children with me. I can see the difference woops. She's not pregnant now. she sends me a message yesterday saying that she'll always love me and she wants us to stay friends, No, never stay friends with an Ex, they are and ex for a reason... Exactly why there as so many crazy couples on daytime courtroom TV shows bitter and angry and taking DNA tests... but isn't sure how long it'll work out with him. I gave her the option that I never speak to her again because it could be just a question of time and she'll eventually get over me but she said she's sure she will never. Seriously!? So she shares this tidbit of info, who does that? You need therapy, she has seriously jacked with your head. I hope the excuse for your pining is that she is seriously hot. Yup Definitely.. Way too many folks have a hopeless addiction to drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Typicalsoldier Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 ****, what I meant to say was: she thinks that one day (if we were still together obviously) she would like to have children with me. I can see the difference woops. She's not pregnant now. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Have you even met her in person? People are not at all the same in person. Sure, she loves you because you're not there in real life so that she gets to see all sides of you and is instead able to fill in the gaps with traits straight out of her ideal man in her head. It's easy to be in love when you're only seeing a fraction of a person and imagining the rest is ideal. Link to post Share on other sites
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