Musicalkeong95 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Hi guys, as you all would know, Valentine's Day is looming and i have a really interesting dilemma here. Do chip in your 2 cents here So here's the story, i have a not-so-close female friend that i am interested in but I don't think she is interested in me. Also, she is a really kind and shy girl that would not know how to say no. She does not have a previous relationship before and rejected (really shyly) a guy that tried to woo her. Now, what i wish to do is to dedicate her favourite song (A Fingerstyle Guitar Cover) for her on Youtube this valentines but i am afraid she might really suspect that i am into her and would shy away from me thereafter. Would it be okay to do so? I would think saving this dedication for her birthday which is around June, would have been a better idea (because MAYBE we might progress a little as friends by June but the same can be said otherwise). I also do not wish to drag this long because i'm afraid i might lose my feelings for her as well... the song would be meaningless by then. Do help me out guys, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 As you have noted, You have to do a lot if tip toeing around shy people. I would TELL her that you're going to do the song for her ahead of time, then give her time to process. Don't tell her when you'll give it to her just tell her you're doing a song she likes. Then she has time to absorb. Then deliver the song to her on V-day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Just ask her out. You might be underestimating her and yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musicalkeong95 Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 As you have noted, You have to do a lot if tip toeing around shy people. I would TELL her that you're going to do the song for her ahead of time, then give her time to process. Don't tell her when you'll give it to her just tell her you're doing a song she likes. Then she has time to absorb. Then deliver the song to her on V-day. Hey Popsicle! I do like your idea a lot! thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musicalkeong95 Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Just ask her out. You might be underestimating her and yourself. I do not think it is the right time yet, since i sense she isn't interested in me judging from our conversations and texts. (eg. she doesnt initiate convos) Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I'm not sure that a bold public (even if only online) gesture is the way to woo someone that seems so painfully shy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JMiller1 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Hi guys, as you all would know, Valentine's Day is looming and i have a really interesting dilemma here. Do chip in your 2 cents here So here's the story, i have a not-so-close female friend that i am interested in but I don't think she is interested in me. Also, she is a really kind and shy girl that would not know how to say no. She does not have a previous relationship before and rejected (really shyly) a guy that tried to woo her. Now, what i wish to do is to dedicate her favourite song (A Fingerstyle Guitar Cover) for her on Youtube this valentines but i am afraid she might really suspect that i am into her and would shy away from me thereafter. Would it be okay to do so? I would think saving this dedication for her birthday which is around June, would have been a better idea (because MAYBE we might progress a little as friends by June but the same can be said otherwise). I also do not wish to drag this long because i'm afraid i might lose my feelings for her as well... the song would be meaningless by then. Do help me out guys, thank you. I would suggest that if you've only known her a few months, then wait til her birthday for this gift. Talk to her in private about the past and find out gently what scared her off about the first guy she turned down. She may need time and your patience to overcome this. It's really nice of you to do this for her, but I'd say she sounds like she may need more time. A great deal depends on how well you know her. Is she a friend, an acquaintance, or just someone you've had your eye on from a distance? Your level of familiarity with her will necessarily dictate the way you relate to her under the present circumstances. If you're already friends, you probably have a pretty fair idea of how you might talk to her about her current situation. If not, you will want to think about building a friendship with her - again, slowly, carefully, and bit by bit - while maintaining an appropriate emotional distance. Don't presume anything. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Waiting till June for that kind of gesture would probably be deemed more appropriate and 'beneficial' in this type of scenario. This way you have more time to progress with this girl, rather than jeopardizing something without any real thought process about it and doing something so suddenly. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I was painfully shy & socially awkward when I was younger. If a boy made a gesture toward me I would assume he was setting me up for something, that this was an elaborate hoax so he & his friends could laugh at me. Something as public as YouTube would cause me to avoid his like the plague. If you really want to be musical, download this song on a disc or thumb drive & give it to her in private. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 This is a difficult one. It is a nice thought. However, she is going to realise you mean a lot to her if you do this. There is nothing wrong with that. It depends why you want to do this. It sounds like a romantic gesture. I would guess you do not want to dedicate it to your 'best friend' (friend's name) but wish to convey something special to her. I think you need to find out a bit more about how she feels about you. You say she is shy but she has turned a guy down when she didn't want to date him. I think she could do this again if she did not want to date you. I think you should ask her out on a date and say 'date'. That way, she can't interpret it as two friends getting together. She can then decide whether to take you up on it or not. Once you have dated and you know better where you stand with her, that might be the time to get romantic. When in a fairly well-established relationship, a dedication would be a lovely gesture. In short, at this stage, unless you are dedicating it to her as a friend, this could be awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I do not think it is the right time yet, since i sense she isn't interested in me judging from our conversations and texts. (eg. she doesnt initiate convos) If she isn't interested in you now, what makes you think she will change her mind? Publicly declaring your love with a You Tube video (because the only person you would be fooling about your motives with that gesture would be you) is a big mistake. If she's given you hints that she's not interested, believe her. Stop wasting time on elaborate plans in the future and go find someone who would be interested now. Stop stringing yourself along. Link to post Share on other sites
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