Despite the cliche, I have developed feelings for my boss...

[hwerfcihrewihc]

I apologize for how long this is... I'm a coordinator at an elementary school have feelings for the principal.

 

I interviewed at this school 2 weeks before the school year started this past August (we tend to get moved every year).The person who interviewed me was the principal with no one else. I got a vibe from him even during the interview itself. While we spent time obviously doing the usual interview questions and tell me about yourself thing, we got into talking for quite some time about our hobbies and passions realizing we shared a lot of the same interests. He then walked me to my car and said he had a few more interviews but would let me know if I got the job or not and I did get it.

 

Right away I realized I had a crush on him. The vibe I got from him never went away. I'm not sure if he is just friendly, oversharing, and generally considering some of us who work there as his friends. Most of the time when we have spoken at work, I would say it was about things unrelated to work. He comes into my office a lot and we talk, but usually the office assistant is in there since she works at a cubicle in my office. Whenever she isn't there, we have longer conversations that seem more intimate (I mean that in a more personal way, nothing sexual or anything like that). When she is out, he comes by even more. A few weeks ago we had a dating/relationship kind of talk (yes I know unprofessional) that HE brought up. I said something to him about my dog and he asked if I ever go to the dog parks in town. I said no and he said I should go and that it's a good place to meet people and gave me a specific one saying it's where I could meet people with $. I was really surprised by this comment especially the $ one since I have never said anything about dating to him or anyone that I work with. I asked him if I had ever even said I wanted someone with $ and he said no and gave me some answer which I forgot. I told him that I rarely date because I believe we live in times where people always want the next best thing due to getting bored so easily, and that very few people in this world are truly reliable and loyal. He said he agreed and that he has let go of friends in his life who weren't reliable. He later went into talking about his ex girlfriend from a couple of years ago. He said he proposed to her and that it didn't work out because she was crazy and had issues.He didn't know it, but I actually knew about that because my assistant told me the story and how he overshared it with her and 2 other people he sat with at some staff lunch thing. I asked him why it didn't work out and how they met. He said they met online and that he was at the time in his life where he realized he was on the older side (he said he was late 40s and he's 50 now) and just wanted to settle down. I told him that life is too short to spend it with people you don't like as well as with toxic people and he agreed. I then got a phone call from his secretary asking if he was in my office because the teacher he wanted to meet with had been waiting for him for awhile so then of course the principal left to meet the teacher.

 

There is a huge age difference. I'm 33 and he is 53. He's single though and I'm single. He actually has seen someone he said (he said this in a meeting that we had with 2 other people) for a few months but that it isn't serious and he doesn't consider her his girlfriend since she still seems to be hung up on her ex. I said something like you are never able to truly move forward when you still have someone from your past always in the picture. He said he agreed and that it bothers him that they still regularly talk. We also are of the same faith which is rare in our city, and he regularly talks to me about religious and cultural things which I have enjoyed. Despite me avoiding him, I really get excited when he sees me and we stop to talk.

 

Of course I know all about sexual harassment and why dating in the workplace especially your subordinate isn't a good idea. I also have had male bosses before so this isn't the power thing. My feelings just keep getting deeper and deeper. I'm casually dating here and there, but he just is very different. I actually do try to avoid him when possible but even then when we are talking about work, it ends up being a personal conversation. I've been keeping my mouth shut but I keep thinking that one day I will say something I shouldn't say which is another reason I'm trying to avoid him.

I normally wouldn't say anything like this, but I think this man could be my soulmate...

 

I'm trying to also tell myself that he is just a personable person who overshares information since he does actually seem to be that way and that I'm looking into this way too much. A principal I met before my interview with him told me that he is a genuinely nice person. He's offered to lend me things unrelated to work when he heard of some things I needed or wanted (didn't take him up on either offer). I feel like he is physically attracted to me as I catch him (to me....) checking me out frequently. I don't know again though if I'm just assuming he is interested in me because I just want him to be....

 

I will say that I'm naive with relationships. I've only had 3 men in my life who I would have considered to be my boyfriends. None were super long term- maybe 5 months-1 year. I just cannot stop thinking about him I and more but I know this is a rated G forum lol.... If it also means anything, it isn't lust on my end. He is a kind, sincere, sensitive, and interesting person to me with a lot to offer.

 

I'm trying to think of other things I didn't mention that he did which to me makes it seem like he is interested in me...

1. Recently after work I heard him say that he was taking his father's dog to the vet. I thought I heard him say he was taking his dog. He jokingly said something like he has no love to give. I responded something like I'm sure he has plenty of love left. I'm not exactly sure word for word what either of us said but they were along those lines.

2. He asked me if I would want my lunch break to be switched to where I get to eat when teachers get to eat. I said it doesn't matter and I said I like taking quiet lunches because I cannot eat and have a conversation at the same time. He then asked me how I date if I cannot do both.

3. This past week in his office we had another personal conversation. He then handed me 2 free tickets to some concert this weekend saying that he couldn't go to it. I was caught off guard and foolishly said I would have no one to go with since I haven't made friends yet in this city. He then said he would go if he didn't have plans (that may have actually implied that he would have gone with someone else had he been able to, not just he would have gone with me if he could).

4. He regularly talks to me about things I'm wearing especially when I wear heels (I don't do that too frequently). I said to him I wear heels because it makes me feel fierce and he seemed to like that.

 

I'm posting on here largely to share how I have been feeling and what has been happening because I don't want to tell people in my life about this. I also have questions to you all...

1. Does it seem like he is romantically interested, or is it just that he is just really friendly?

2. I seriously doubt that even if he is interested that he would ask me out due to sexual harassment however, if I end up at a different school again next year, is it okay to ask him out the minute he no longer is my boss? He would be receiving calls from other principals if they are considering hiring me which may be problematic so maybe I should wait once I already started at a new school and received an offer?

[Mr. Lucky]

1. Does it seem like he is romantically interested, or is it just that he is just really friendly?

 

He may indeed be interested in you though his history of over-sharing this same info with others before you arrived might give you pause. It might just be his awkward form of communication, he doesn't have much of a filter.

 

Don't, under any circumstances, get involved with him while you work together. Should you do so and it doesn't pan out, be prepared for him to tell his side to everyone you work with. It's equal parts awkward, humiliating and painful.

 

Ask me how I know ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[hwerfcihrewihc]

He may indeed be interested in you though his history of over-sharing this same info with others before you arrived might give you pause. It might just be his awkward form of communication, he doesn't have much of a filter.

 

Don't, under any circumstances, get involved with him while you work together. Should you do so and it doesn't pan out, be prepared for him to tell his side to everyone you work with. It's equal parts awkward, humiliating and painful.

 

Ask me how I know ...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I did date a coworker once and we broke up while working with each other. It wasn't as awkward as people make it out to be. We hardly even saw each other and when we did, there were so many other coworkers around that it made no difference. This though is obviously different because I'm his subordinate. I'm supposed to get evaluated this year and we were supposed to get assigned meetings with him to discuss goals and objectives. He has made meetings with everyone except for me.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Hwer, why are you still single at 33 years and why are you getting vibes from a guy who is 20 years older than you? Do you not have avenues to meet guys outside of your work sphere? I think that would be more healthy for you than this relationship. Just a thought. Warm wishes.

[hwerfcihrewihc]

Hi Hwer, why are you still single at 33 years and why are you getting vibes from a guy who is 20 years older than you? Do you not have avenues to meet guys outside of your work sphere? I think that would be more healthy for you than this relationship. Just a thought. Warm wishes.

 

I just haven't found the right person. I've gone through other avenues and have a social life. He has the best personality and I feel chemistry with him.