Checking it out...

[Gloria25]

I was just reading a thread where a woman found out her bf was trying to see if ex would get back with him - even though he hasn't even mentioned breaking up with his current gf.

 

So, do guys do this? Like check out another woman before considering officially dumping who they currently are with?

 

And, when I say "checking out" - it doesn't necessarily equate having sex with other women, it pretty much means he may be doing like that guy in the thread - simply chatting up and feeling out other women instead of breaking up with his gf and then checking out other women.

 

Do the guys who do this consider it cheating? I mean, in their head, as long as they haven't kissed or had sex, it's ok to check out a potential prospect - especially if he and his current gf are having rough patches?

[Mr. Lucky]

And, when I say "checking out" - it doesn't necessarily equate having sex with other women, it pretty much means he may be doing like that guy in the thread - simply chatting up and feeling out other women instead of breaking up with his gf and then checking out other women.

 

I'm not sure men do this any more often than women, especially if there are kids involved.

 

Many people, when they jump from a relationship, want a soft place to land...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Blanco]

I've never done this, because I don't get into relationships hastily. So when one ends, even if I am the one who leaves, dating or looking for another relationship is so unappealing; I'm just usually too emotionally tapped from having given everything to the ending relationship.

 

I know some guys do this, but truthfully, I see this sort of thing a lot more from women, especially the college-aged and thirtysomethings.

[Blackened Heart]

Agreed with Blanco, I have never done this and I have heard it being fairly common with women. Typically though also, women usually have other guys that have shown interest and thus they can jump from one relationship to another.

[Expectmore]

Its true on both ends.

Its personal values that determine how you handle yourself.

I keep my head down and stick to business when dealing with other females that are a little too nice to me during my day.

Im not trying to cause any extra attention as I am married. We have our issues and If I decide I want out I would make that call before lining up another prospect. But thats just me. But yes some people will create a landing pad before they jump. They may have a fear of being alone for a time being.

Some of us are good with ouselves and give the respect of not doing such a thing and just being honest about how we feel.

[letmoc]

I was just reading a thread where a woman found out her bf was trying to see if ex would get back with him - even though he hasn't even mentioned breaking up with his current gf.

 

So, do guys do this? Like check out another woman before considering officially dumping who they currently are with?

 

And, when I say "checking out" - it doesn't necessarily equate having sex with other women, it pretty much means he may be doing like that guy in the thread - simply chatting up and feeling out other women instead of breaking up with his gf and then checking out other women.

 

Do the guys who do this consider it cheating? I mean, in their head, as long as they haven't kissed or had sex, it's ok to check out a potential prospect - especially if he and his current gf are having rough patches?

 

I'm a woman and I do this. I have usually made sure I had a few prospects lined up before I ended a relationship. And no I never really considered it cheating

[Gaeta]

Unfortunately I know too many men that do that.

 

I even caught an old friend on POF while on his FB his fiancée was posting pictures of their latest weekend away. I wrote to him and ask what the heck he was doing there and he said he wanted to break up the engagement. Arse-ole. He could not even wait for his bed to cool down.

 

I have a family member who's divorced 3 times and before divorcing he already had the next one waiting for him.

 

I have no respect for these men.

[Shining One]

OP, you're talking about the concept called monkey branching. In my experience, it's far more common with younger women than men. Most men I know want nothing to do with relationships for a while after getting out of one.

 

As far as cheating, that depends. It's certainly a grey area and it probably crosses the line into emotional cheating. I've never done it, so I can't say whether or not it "feels like" cheating.

[MJJean]

 

Do the guys who do this consider it cheating? I mean, in their head, as long as they haven't kissed or had sex, it's ok to check out a potential prospect - especially if he and his current gf are having rough patches?

 

Being in a GF/BF relationship is not the same as being engaged or married. Why wouldn't a man or woman check out what else is available when just dating?

[Gloria25]

Well, I don't think dude in my case is a douche. I approached him without checking out if someone else was in the picture so I'm assuming he likes my friendship and is getting to know me without crossing any boundaries with his current SO.

 

I just hope he's not going along with this cuz he's bored and this is exciting.

 

I also wish he'd say what's on his mind cuz like the other day I'm detailing my thoughts and stuff and all he says is like 'yeah, I understand' - without being like 'Oh, I'm good/bad with my SO' or 'Nah, I don't want anymore kids'....So, it's like he's gathering information from me without saying what he wants. ****pfft****