Don't get "Gatsby-ed"

[amkxoxo]

So tonight one of my girl friends brought over "The Great Gasby" for us to watch on dvd. I knew a bit about it, but had never read the book so was not fully aware of the premise.

It broke my heart. My ex, was, is, Gatsby. Pinning after other women, taken women, and women whom don't feel as strongly for him. He lives his life bragging about fictitious or not yet true stories about himself. No one really truly knowing the real him. I watched the movie feeling like I was looking at my ex the whole time. He acted just like him and practically was him. But I was not Daisy.

 

In a way, I found myself related to Gatsby too.

 

I was fixated on my ex. Wanting to gain his attention in any way I could. Looking for the light at the end of the dock. I spent three years of my life "throwing parties", but really throwing myself out there hoping he would notice and see me. Spending so much time fixated on him and winning him, that I forgot about me and the people that were around me. Much like Gatsby, whose whole premise is to try and get Daisy to notice him while throwing these illustrious parties, no one at the parties even gets to know him or remember him. I lost friends over my ex. He made his whole life Daisy, as did I.

 

In a way I am also Daisy. Like me, she gets so sick and tired of waiting for the Gatsby to be ready, she picks someone whom was there, and ready, Tom Buchanan. As I did date someone else whom I grew feelings for.

 

But I always ran back to my Gatsby. My ex, that is. But my Gatsby wasn't mine. He was someone else's. The Gatsby in my life was throwing parties for other people.

 

I spent years of my life between ages of 21-24 waiting to be swept off my feet by my Gatsby.

 

I'm writing this because the movie not only broke my heart, but made me realize that I wasted so much time on someone who wasn't going to fight for me. It saddens me that now as I feel so much older, that I am seamlessly wandering through my life with no prospects and stuck in limbo between my past and the present. Always trying to make the past happen, but also trying to let it go, because it cannot, and should not be repeated. Also, another common theme in this book/movie.

 

I couldn't believe how much I related to all of it.

 

I'm writing this to remind other people to not just live for one other person. Don't waste your life, waiting around for one person, because if that person never comes around, like in my case, you are dead inside with no one else to support you, because you put your eggs in all one basket. Enjoy life's parties, don't fade into the background.

 

Don't be a Gatsby, find your own Gatsby who turns his light on for you.

[Miss Clavel]

uh, i think it's grand that you share your advice about unrequited love but let's face it, daisy was not a very good person.

 

read the book. didn't she hit someone in the road, kill them and just keep going?

 

 

 

let go. move on. in that order.

 

because there is nothing more thrilling in life then to "give it up to god". let it go. give it to the universe, and don't take it back.

 

give it away, give it up. let someone/something else have it. because it's not yours. so why should you have it. carry it?

 

good luck

[amkxoxo]

Thats my point in all of it. My ex spent do much time pining over Daisy's, that he didn't see what was right in front of him, me. Daisy didn't love him fully and she went after what was offered to her that looked appealing at the time. I a the complete opposite. Money means very little to me and I value deeper things like love, romance, family, and time. But Gatsby, my ex, never wanted anyone else.

 

I wouldn't have left him. I was his always. And he still kept going after Daisy's. I'm trying tell women like me, to not settle for someone else's Gatsby, but to find your own, and when you do, don't be foolish and take it for granted. At the point where I felt my ex was the only man out there, sometimes I find myself still feeling that way, its important to remember there are tons of men out there and don't give up on finding one.

 

Gatsby could have lived a good life with someone else. With the girl whom was right in front of him, someone like me. But he chose an alternate path that led to ultimate heartbreak and despair.

 

Also, guys are really foolish sometimes.

 

I'm truly just venting here, because I could not believe the similarities fro this book and my own life. I felt like I was watching it on replay. Watching my ex on replay, and how much he lives his life like Gatsby is unbelievable.

Edited November 17, 2016 by amkxoxo

[Herbalist]

I've never seen the movie, just read the book, and even that was some years ago. But from what I remember, it was mostly about the problem of people falling in love with ideas/fantasies instead of falling in love with another person, plus also the problem of people not being true to themselves and only being their true self in secret (and causing a bunch of damage to themselves and others in the process).

 

It seemed to have a few different meanings in the story, but one of which was delving into the foolishness that often leads to affairs, instead of the foolishness of affairs themselves, again more like the foolishness in some humans that leads to them. By the end of the story it's like you can see that if everyone had just waited for someone they really wanted instead of settling early just to be in a marriage, period, then people would have likely wound up with who they really wanted, without all of the damage to their character and each other that happened.

 

So in that regard I can get behind a sentiment of "don't get Gatsby'ed" as far as don't let yourself fall foolish victim to the whole underlying problem in the Gatsby story, whether it was Daisy, Gatsby, Tom, Myrtle, etc.

[amkxoxo]

It’s so twisted in so many ways. If Daisy had waited she could have had Gatsby. If Tom had waited he could have had Myrtle, though Myrtle was quite low class and might have not made it into Tom’s high class society life. If Gatsby had given up on Daisy he could have had friends and a life with other women, instead of being a hermit and a recluse waiting for the one person who left him for someone else.

 

You are correct, everyone is a figment of themselves to the outside world, but their true selves behind closed doors. My ex was manipulative and charming like Gatsby. He made everything sound amazing, though it was probably not half as great. He talked of these amazing things he did for other women, things he wanted to do. Things I craved after hearing. Things I never got from him. He talked of false promises. Stories and excuses as to why he didn’t do this or that. All romantic things that never happened, but had a story as to why. Gatsby was the master of having people see him in a certain way. With all his stories and catches, my ex was the same way. I kept waiting for the large party thrown for my attention, but there was always a reason as to why not.

 

Its twisted in the way that my ex reminded me of Gatsby. He would pine after women he once had and act like he could win them back with pomp and circumstance. I was Nick Carraway in a sense. Wanting Gatsby’s attentions for myself, but listening to him ponder on and on about others, and in the end Nick ends up being the last man standing on Gatsby’s side. Gatsby not seeing how good of a friend and companion Nick really was to him, as he focused all his energy on Daisy whom ran off in the end. I was the last one as well. The only one that stood by my ex when everyone else just didn’t care as much.

 

My ex was never “ready” or in love with me. We had chemistry, but it never turned into love. He never tried. He never let it. I was an ego boost. Knowing he could talk to me and have me there waiting made him feel good.

 

I met someone else. I opened up to someone else, but my Gatsby was always in my mind, taunting me with what if’s. Like in the story I lived for years with what could be and fantasies of life with my ex.

 

I grew bitter and tired and started seeing reality. I started questioning him and asking him about why things between us were the way that they were. Our whole relationship broke when I started seeing him for who he really was. He may be great to all other people, but he wasn’t great to me. He threw parties for all people who didn’t care about him, but like I mentioned above, he never threw one for me.

 

Now I’m alone. It’s been so long of me by myself since he and parted ways. He doesn’t call or communicate. I get the occasional like or favorite on social media. He, like always, leaves me hanging by the thread. I feel trapped by the past I had with him. Unable to move on. Trying to get over the fantasy to see that reality wasn’t what I ever wanted. Living in a dream world is fun, but not healthy or reasonable.