thegreatfuldead Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Haven't been able to talk about it, with anyone, and I figured I just needed to let it out. Met a girl, the kind of girl that men go to war over. She was way out of my league. Had no idea she would ever be interested in me at all. Then she kissed me. I still remember her running my hands across my hips and telling me to "come here" and pulled me in closer. And after that I was hers, and she was mine...didn't need a title, or anything. That's just how it was. But there were a few catches. We kept it a secret, because we hung around the same groups. Even being adults and the type of environment it was, drama was always buzzing. And we are both secretive people. She was also moving away, far away at an undetermined date. It actually was going to be just an arrangement, we were both lonely. It would have been easier that way, anyway....no attachments. But then she went and told me she was falling for me. I don't know what I did or how I deserved her. Nor do I feel the need to justify it with anyone, so I refuse to go into detail. It was doomed from the start. I knew I loved her though, probably the surest time I have ever known I have loved someone. We have conversations without saying a word....just smiles and staring. Kind of like poetic tragedy. And one word meant a million more. I tried to justify maybe it was obsession, or infatuation, or that she was leaving, or that nobody knew...the spice of secrecy. After awhile it didn't matter. She looms in my head in the intervals between seconds. I am not a brave man, so I would not ask her to stay. But god do I daydream about running into that airport and stopping her. I wish I could promise I would be able to make her happy, and I could give what she needed...but I cant do that. I've always been so sure in the past, but with her she makes me feel like....a child. Not in a bad way, just that...I would always believe she could do so much better than me. She....is a whole other caliber of person. But she has a huge adventure ahead of her and I wont be the one to clip her wings. I never promised her anything unrealistic, besides one thing. That I would make sure she would always know where to find me I asked her to go find her happiness regardless if it was with me or not. So the clock is now ticking, and I am just waiting here, trying my best not to tell her not to go, trying to keep it together. God I wish I could tell her everything....I know I wont.... whatever this feeling is, I don't want it anymore. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Is she special enough for you to move where she's going? It doesn't have to be goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 It was probably special because you knew there was an expiration date. But anyway, if it was as special to her as it is to you, you will hear from her again, unless it turns out she's taken and was keeping that a secret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thegreatfuldead Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 We have 2 very different lives and career paths, which is why it wouldn't work out, especially being internationally inclined, if you catch my drift. And I know its not goodbye, maybe. and no, its not a matter of being taken, and honestly, unconditionally speaking, that wouldn't bother me in the slightest. If she goes off and is happy with another person, then I hope she finds what she is looking for. That's all I can ask for. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Is she special enough for you to move where she's going? It doesn't have to be goodbye Well love isn't "practical".... I wouldn't move just to be with someone. I "may" consider it if I had a job, place, etc to the place that I'm moving to. Life is not like the movies.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 That's not a sad story unless she's taking a job with NASA and is leaving the planet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Well love isn't "practical".... I wouldn't move just to be with someone. I "may" consider it if I had a job, place, etc to the place that I'm moving to. Life is not like the movies.... Im with Gloria here. This is not Hollywood. Im not moving anywhere for ANYONE. You make the move and one day, you break up and guess what now you're all alone in this place you moved to for your significant other. OP honestly, I think that the way you described your feelings is a good way of letting it out. Sounds like you like this girl very much BUT you also acknowledge the reasons why this will not work out long term from the start which is GREAT. Not because you are out of her league (because trust me if she likes you she likes you) but more because you already know how different you are. I wish that my ex would have realized this when he started pursuing me. It would have saved me so much heartache. Like you he felt like I was out of his league and he pursued me very hard. The problem was not that I was or wasn't out of his league but more that we were just different people. Different wants and needs. In the long run, he ended up breaking my heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 It was probably special because you knew there was an expiration date. Yup, and this I think may be why one of my short relationships with an expiration date felt so much more romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
JuanDelToro Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Haven't been able to talk about it, with anyone, and I figured I just needed to let it out. Met a girl, the kind of girl that men go to war over. She was way out of my league. Had no idea she would ever be interested in me at all. Then she kissed me. I still remember her running my hands across my hips and telling me to "come here" and pulled me in closer. And after that I was hers, and she was mine...didn't need a title, or anything. That's just how it was. But there were a few catches. We kept it a secret, because we hung around the same groups. Even being adults and the type of environment it was, drama was always buzzing. And we are both secretive people. She was also moving away, far away at an undetermined date. It actually was going to be just an arrangement, we were both lonely. It would have been easier that way, anyway....no attachments. But then she went and told me she was falling for me. I don't know what I did or how I deserved her. Nor do I feel the need to justify it with anyone, so I refuse to go into detail. It was doomed from the start. I knew I loved her though, probably the surest time I have ever known I have loved someone. We have conversations without saying a word....just smiles and staring. Kind of like poetic tragedy. And one word meant a million more. I tried to justify maybe it was obsession, or infatuation, or that she was leaving, or that nobody knew...the spice of secrecy. After awhile it didn't matter. She looms in my head in the intervals between seconds. I am not a brave man, so I would not ask her to stay. But god do I daydream about running into that airport and stopping her. I wish I could promise I would be able to make her happy, and I could give what she needed...but I cant do that. I've always been so sure in the past, but with her she makes me feel like....a child. Not in a bad way, just that...I would always believe she could do so much better than me. She....is a whole other caliber of person. But she has a huge adventure ahead of her and I wont be the one to clip her wings. I never promised her anything unrealistic, besides one thing. That I would make sure she would always know where to find me I asked her to go find her happiness regardless if it was with me or not. So the clock is now ticking, and I am just waiting here, trying my best not to tell her not to go, trying to keep it together. God I wish I could tell her everything....I know I wont.... whatever this feeling is, I don't want it anymore. Thanks for reading. No need to run to the airport or move away with her, that's in the movies. But mate you've got to man up here. Drop your insecurities, pick up the phone, call her and ask her to stay. If you really think you love her it's a no brainer really. Give her the option and let her decide if she wants to "clip her wings" for you, don't make that decision for her because you don't know what's in her heart and mind really. Think about it in that way. What would be worst? to get a NO in return or spending the next few years wondering "what if"? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Yes, ask her to stay. Tell her she is free to go and you want her to be happy, but tell her you'd be over the moon if she stayed, that she means a lot to you. Her reaction might hurt you if it's not what you want to hear, but at least you won't be pining for some fictional girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts