Most ridiculous anti come-on line you ever used?

[Poutrew]

Yep. This thread is about what is the silliest line you have ever used to get rid of girls pestering you at a bar

 

Back when I was a college bloke, I frequented a bar that featured an endless limited-item buffet you could partake of as long as you had bought a drink. Being broke and sick of poor boy tomato soup (hot water and catsup with saltines) or Ramen, I would go there and make a single beer last long enough to get a mass quantity of pizza or pasta and salad in my gut. Being in the post grad physics program, I really was not there to get laid, or to look for a drunk girlfriend, I was there to eat. Sometimes the girls wouldn't leave me alone - this was when Star Trek was pretty popular, and many young ladies had a taste for Spock. Maybe I looked a bit like Spock, maybe it was the slide rule stuffed in my pocket - you know the old joke about guys with big slide rules... OK, maybe you didn't hang out in my crowd Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I was in there eating my regular mass quantity of pizza with my pal, an astrophysics chappie who never could get pussy. This girl tried chatting me up and wouldn't go away. Finally I told her, "Look madam, I'm going to tell you the truth about why I am sitting here all alone. Fact is, my penis is so small you'd need a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers to find it. But, see that guy over there," I pointed to indicate my friend, "Well I hear he's hung like a horse. Try him." I went back to eating my pizza. It worked, she did leave and went over to my pal, who finally got some that night. I don't know if he ever did find out how she chose him, and I never told him - she had crabs

 

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

[dreamingoftigers]

Well its not my story. It's my husband (I'll call him Jim) long before he met me. But I did meet the wingman, he's a pretty funny, fu*ked-up guy:

 

Jim had this friend that he knew off and on over the years. They went to a bar together where this annoying girl Jim wasn't into at all started trying to pick him up. When she wasn't looking Jim gave his friend sort of a "help me out here" look.

 

Friend comes over and says, "oh hey there, this fine gentlemen here is [Jim] and......" Started talking him up. Jim starts waving his hands and mouthing "NO NO NO." So on a dime the friend goes "Fu*k off bitch. Jim ain't talkin to ya!" She just looks shocked for a minute and just walks away.

 

Just like that. It's a better story in person.

[mike_89]

There seems to be something off about some girls xD if you don't return their interest they just come on stronger ("But I am a beautiful girl! Why don't you like me?" is literally what one girl told me). What I usually say is "After how many dates can I piss in your mouth?". The looks on their faces are hilarious

[preraph]

I think a better way to handle it might have been simply to introduce her to your friend (or enemy, whatever) and then excuse yourself for a moment and hope she either left or was absorbed talking to the friend when you returned. If not, just ignore her while you stuff yourself. I seriously doubt the big/small talk is what convinced her. I think at that point, she was just thinking, This guy's rude, so I'll talk to his friend.

[blueskyday]

How about just saying, "thank you, but I'm waiting for someone." ? No need to be rude, unless they are rude or won't go away. In those cases, feel free to be more aggressive.

 

I've never needed a rude line to shoo a man away. I understand that by virtue of being in a bar, I'm in a position where men might assume I'm looking for company and approach me with such an offer.

 

Simply be polite and firmly decline any advances.

[Gold Pile]

I don't do it on purpose but I'm usually so shocked to have a woman hitting on me that I ask "are you talking to me?". They think I mean it in a Robert Dinero tough guy fashion, so they leave.

[blueskyday]

"Hey, you talkin' to me?" Sooo funny!! I think if a guy said that to me in a bar, I would laugh and talk to him. Witty.

[Miss Peach]

I don't do it on purpose but I'm usually so shocked to have a woman hitting on me that I ask "are you talking to me?". They think I mean it in a Robert Dinero tough guy fashion, so they leave.

 

You made me think of this old Italian guy in my neighborhood who does that. I've actually heard tourists ask him if he's the Godfather of the neighborhood. Maybe it's you???

[Frank13]

I look the girl up and down and then say "I'd buy you a drink, but I don't see anything worth paying for".