ericegy Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I work very closely with this very attractive lady,about 10 years younger than me. It started as friends,mostly she is telling me her problems, I try and help.After some time I fell for her without even knowing. Every time I try to take this friendship one step closer she pushes me away. I than step away , she keeps talking trying to get the friendship back on track. this has been going on for some time. however lately my help included "borrowing" money , a car and other help. I try and move our friendship a little closer just be flirting , a little hug, kiss on cheek.she pushes me away. I again try and just keep relationship professional, and keep my distance after her pushing me away . She than keeps talking a lot getting closer again, and asks to borrow more money. says we are just friends and she appreciates my help and promise to pay me back.. she know how I feel about her. so we did this now a few times, she becomes close , asks for money, I give her and expect her to be more friendly to me. we argue over how poorly she behaves, promise she will try and nothing happens. we argued about her forggeting my birthday, no card even for christmas and every time I kiss her on cheek i feel she does not like it, I tell her says this is in my head only. now she borrowed over $7,000 in just a few month. I am not rich and this is a lot of money that i know will never get back. am I being played or do I understand friendship wrong and she is right. I should not expect more just because I am giving so much 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Do you perchance have the word sucker stamped on your forehead? Look closely because I can see it from here. Sorry. She does not want to date you. She wants you to give her things. Unless you have a signed note for all the money you will never get it back. She will claim it was a gift. Unless you want to be treated like an ATM leave this selfish person alone. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 OP, please read your post again. How needy do you think you sound on the scale of 1 - 10? I'd say 11. Her mates put her up to it. She told them about the old needy guy in the office and her mates encouraged her to take advantage. Arguing over a forgotten birthday 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I can't wait to see you on the next episode of Judge Judy. She will never pay you back the money and one day she will just vanish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 She will keep taking and taking because the situation suits her perfectly fine. She is getting cash for doing nothing. Why would she want to change anything? For her it is win-win. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I think the Beatles said it best: 'Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long I am the eggman, they are the eggmen' Oh wait, I mean the other one: 'Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love' You can't buy a relationship! Get her to pay you back then stop feeding her money! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 She's not even a friend, let alone a prospective girlfriend. She's someone you know through work, nothing more. She thinks you are an idiot, and not entirely without good reason. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveflower Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I don't understand how someone could just use others like that? I mean, this girl has no moral, conscience and no shame? oh, yes, I have had opportunities to use men...but I have never ever used anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
fenix Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I work very closely with this very attractive lady,about 10 years younger than me. It started as friends,mostly she is telling me her problems, I try and help.After some time I fell for her without even knowing. Every time I try to take this friendship one step closer she pushes me away. I than step away , she keeps talking trying to get the friendship back on track. this has been going on for some time. however lately my help included "borrowing" money , a car and other help. I try and move our friendship a little closer just be flirting , a little hug, kiss on cheek.she pushes me away. I again try and just keep relationship professional, and keep my distance after her pushing me away . She than keeps talking a lot getting closer again, and asks to borrow more money. says we are just friends and she appreciates my help and promise to pay me back.. she know how I feel about her. so we did this now a few times, she becomes close , asks for money, I give her and expect her to be more friendly to me. we argue over how poorly she behaves, promise she will try and nothing happens. we argued about her forggeting my birthday, no card even for christmas and every time I kiss her on cheek i feel she does not like it, I tell her says this is in my head only. now she borrowed over $7,000 in just a few month. I am not rich and this is a lot of money that i know will never get back. am I being played or do I understand friendship wrong and she is right. I should not expect more just because I am giving so much OP, Please read again your post. This woman is using you, she has been clear many times that she doesn't want the kind of attention that you want to give her and she looks for you just to get the money and other favors that she can get from you. Stop this right away, I don't think you will recover your $7k anymore so take it as the cost of a very taught but important lesson in life ... Maya Angelou: 'When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them' Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I don't understand how someone could just use others like that? I mean, this girl has no moral, conscience and no shame? oh, yes, I have had opportunities to use men...but I have never ever used anybody. People can only use you with your consent - unless it's by physical force of course. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 She's just a straight-up user taking advantage of a guy with some money having a crush on her, and she's not at all interested in you other than taking your money. You are living in a dreamworld if you think there's anything else going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-O How can you be so naïve?????? Grow a pair and stop letting people take advantage of you and use you like that. You need to find out why you are so desperate and needy and then fix it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 OP, how long is 'some time'? Are you dating other women right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Personally I'd try and turn the table on her. She will be asking for more money eventually. Users always do until they are told never again. It would be worth it to me to pop in maybe another $100 bucks but this time ready with a promissory note with prepayment terms for the entirety for her to sign. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Folks, thanks for your input. We've determined this to be a drive-by so, lacking general content of interest, I closed the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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