loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 When I was 20, I had consensual sex with a 16 year old. It was legal and age of consent is 16. It was a hookup and full protection was used, including a condom, birth control, and I didn't ejaculate. It was both our first times (both virgins). While legal, do you see anything morally or ethically wrong? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Not with that per se. But with stalking/harassing said 16-year-old so that you end up in jail as you mentioned your previous thread, yes there is something seriously wrong there, on your part. What is even the point of this thread? More advice for you to ignore? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I see a lot wrong with it whenever anybody over 20 has sex with somebody who is more then 1 year their junior, i.e. anybody who has the word teen in their age. As an adult what where you going to do, go to her prom? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Put this behind you and find somebody your own age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Put this behind you and find somebody your own age. Does the age difference look bad in court? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Does the age difference look bad in court? That would depend on who is being accused, and what they are being accused of. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yes it looks bad. You peed in the kiddie pool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yes it looks bad. You peed in the kiddie pool. We are only 4 years apart Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Been going on, legally and illegally, as long as 16 and 20 yo have existed. Do parents particularly like it? In general, nope! However, many seem to forget their own sex lives at 16 or 20 and, well, the descent into hypocrisy begins 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 We are only 4 years apart Did either of you ever exchange pics of naked body parts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Did either of you ever exchange pics of naked body parts? No, we didn't Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 No, we didn't Alright good. Keep it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 When I was 20, I had consensual sex with a 16 year old. It was legal and age of consent is 16. It was a hookup and full protection was used, including a condom, birth control, and I didn't ejaculate. It was both our first times (both virgins). While legal, do you see anything morally or ethically wrong? Not necessarily legal. Age of consent and statutory rape are concepts that are often confused, especially considering that all the states (relevant if you're in the US) have different definitions and set their own ages for consent. But it's quite common that, forex, a minor of the age of consent in their state, say 16, is able to consent to sexual activity only with ppl who are within a certain age proximity to them. Usually that figure is around 2-3 years. That can result in some goofy-seeming outcomes like a 19 year having committed statutory rape for having sex w/a 16 year old, but if they were 18 it would have been fine, or two 17 year olds both being guilty of statutory rape for having sex w/each other in states where the age of consent is 18. (And some of those apparently still exist.) But it also makes it clearly criminal for scenarios most everybody would find unacceptable, like a 16 year old having sex with a 60 year old. Once you're 18, in all states I believe, you can have sex with anyone you want, from 18 to 100, and it's nobody's business. That assumes adulthood has arrived, whereas minors aren't adults but no one finds it reasonable to think they won't have sex or to try to stop it. So the trade off is, after a certain age, let them, but only with ppl of similar age. Morals and ethics are another question. Assuming you were both of strictly legal ages as described above for your place of residence, it seems to me like it'd be a question of is either partly being exploited, taken advantage of, or not fully aware of what's going on in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Why don't you tell us exactly what is going on with you? From trying to piece it together for myself, I think this is it: The 16 year old girl came to meet you at that hotel and you had sex. After that she didn't want anything more to do with you but you harassed and stalked her. I imagine her parents got involved and had a restraining order placed against you and you violated that. Is that about right? I don't know if her being 16 is going to make it any worse for you in court than if she were 18, but evidently you have broken the law. Also even though she was (according to you) at the age of consent in her state at the age of 16 - that is only OK if you are not more than 4 years older. Are you 4 years and 2 months older? Maybe that makes a difference. Was she at the legal age of consent in the state where the event took place? There is also the possibility that she does not feel that she consented. From your description of what went on in that hotel room there is room for some doubt. How about this: maybe she was lying and wasn't even 16 years old yet? Along with all of that is the fact that her parents are probably involved and might want to ruin your life if they can, for what you did to their little girl. That is what she is to them - a little girl. Disregarding all of that, harassment and stalking and violating a no contact order are all crimes. You really need a lawyer, do you have one? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Not necessarily legal. Age of consent and statutory rape are concepts that are often confused, especially considering that all the states (relevant if you're in the US) have different definitions and set their own ages for consent. But it's quite common that, forex, a minor of the age of consent in their state, say 16, is able to consent to sexual activity only with ppl who are within a certain age proximity to them. Usually that figure is around 2-3 years. That can result in some goofy-seeming outcomes like a 19 year having committed statutory rape for having sex w/a 16 year old, but if they were 18 it would have been fine, or two 17 year olds both being guilty of statutory rape for having sex w/each other in states where the age of consent is 18. (And some of those apparently still exist.) But it also makes it clearly criminal for scenarios most everybody would find unacceptable, like a 16 year old having sex with a 60 year old. Once you're 18, in all states I believe, you can have sex with anyone you want, from 18 to 100, and it's nobody's business. That assumes adulthood has arrived, whereas minors aren't adults but no one finds it reasonable to think they won't have sex or to try to stop it. So the trade off is, after a certain age, let them, but only with ppl of similar age. Morals and ethics are another question. Assuming you were both of strictly legal ages as described above for your place of residence, it seems to me like it'd be a question of is either partly being exploited, taken advantage of, or not fully aware of what's going on in any way. None of us were under the influence of anything. She was consenting. She was completely legal in that jurisdiction, plus we were only a little less than 4 years apart. I used protection (condom). She was on birth control. And I was unable to cum my first time. So chances of pregnancy are just about zero. Did she regret it? Yea. But she also knew what she was doing too and it was a lesson learned for both of us. It was both our first times. I was gentle and communicated with her the whole way. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 But she also knew what she was doing too Wrong. You are making HUGE assumptions that a 16-year old girl knows what they are doing. They do not. They have an idea of what they think they should know and how they should act to be accepted as an adult - when they are far from it. Especially when it comes to having sex with a 20-year-old who - in their mind - is tantamount to a "grown-up" adult who SHOULD know not to take advantage of a teenager. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Did she regret it? Yea. But she also knew what she was doing too and it was a lesson learned for both of us. It was both our first times. I was gentle and communicated with her the whole way. She did NOT know what she was doing. I read the thread you posted about it. I am sure she felt terribly violated. I believe that you did not intend to do anything bad to her but I am quite sure that was a damaging experience for her that will be hard for her to get over, especially since you've prolonged it through your stalking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Wrong. You are making HUGE assumptions that a 16-year old girl knows what they are doing. They do not. They have an idea of what they think they should know and how they should act to be accepted as an adult - when they are far from it. Especially when it comes to having sex with a 20-year-old who - in their mind - is tantamount to a "grown-up" adult who SHOULD know not to take advantage of a teenager. The sex was legal, but I am fearful of how this is going to look in court. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 The sex was legal, but I am fearful of how this is going to look in court. Please answer these questions: What is your crime? Do you have a lawyer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Please answer these questions: What is your crime? Do you have a lawyer? The crime is stalking and harassment. But in the report it was emphasized she was a "juvenile" and we had consensual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 It was both our first times. I was gentle and communicated with her the whole way. No, you did not. You inserted a finger into her anus while in the shower, without her consent (to which she did not respond positively). You tried to tell her that her feeling like she needed to pee meant she was going to squirt and she should have 'let go'. You really have no clue at all, do you? You think everything you did to her was just fine. I hope her parents find your little Penthouse story write up of your experience here. I'm sure it will be of great use in court. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 The crime is stalking and harassment. But in the report it was emphasized she was a "juvenile" and we had consensual sex. If she is identified as a juvenile there is likely some reason for that. Do you have a lawyer? Do you feel that you have done anything wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 No, you did not. You inserted a finger into her anus while in the shower, without her consent (to which she did not respond positively). You tried to tell her that her feeling like she needed to pee meant she was going to squirt and she should have 'let go'. You really have no clue at all, do you? You think everything you did to her was just fine. I hope her parents find your little Penthouse story write up of your experience here. I'm sure it will be of great use in court. And I pulled my finger out and apologized. And the whole squirting thing it was not criticism it was advice for the next time she had sex. It was both our first times. We were learning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 If she is identified as a juvenile there is likely some reason for that. Do you have a lawyer? Do you feel that you have done anything wrong? I think going to her house to ask her out was wrong when she told me she wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. Not so much the sex itself. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 And I pulled my finger out and apologized. And the whole squirting thing it was not criticism it was advice for the next time she had sex. It was both our first times. We were learning. I agree with Rosebud. You need a lawyer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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