Travel for work and jealous husband

[thisisme2]

i need to reach out for some perspective. I am married to a man who is extremely jealous. Early on in our relationship, he probably had reason to be jealous - as I wasn’t 1000 percent committed. But, we are married now and I have told him I am his.

 

The problem is he just can’t seem to believe me. We have had fights where he has threatened divorce and when that happens - I have left for the night…and then come back. He always thinks I am screwing someone when that happens. Of course, that’s not the case.

 

Fast forward to my current issue. I have to travel once or twice a year for work. My employer has a HUGE conference where I have to speak and meet all of our customers. That happens next week.

 

My husband was not okay with me going alone. He took the whole week off work to come along. But, I will be working around the clock. I got him on the volunteer list etc. I tried to get him involved.

 

Since the booking of the trip he’s been ridiculous. He was angry because our flight seats are not together. He moved them..which is fine. But, he was not happy. Then, he is acting insane about the event itself. He is telling me that he is worried that my CEOs won’t be inviting him to come along for our investor dinners (that is possible). He’s said that if that’s the case, I should just tell them to F themselves.

 

Then, I got my CEO on a TV station for an interview about this event. He is adamant that I bring him to this tv station. I said I don’t know. He went nuts and said it’s clear I’m not proud of him and he could not BELIEVE how horrible I am to him.

 

When I told him I will be meeting with our clients all day …and that I will do my best to see him — he said that’s fine “i’ll find things to do, I will go meet people. Men and Women!”

 

I went off the charts angry. I could not believe he was trying to say he was going to meet women because I have to work.

 

He responded by saying…You are going to be meeting with men all day…what’s the difference.

 

I said I got you on this work trip….I am doing everything I can…but I have to WORK…he doesn’t understand why I need to be “so independent”

 

We ended the fight — not well. But today we are okay….but I’m SO nervous. I’m afraid of what he’s going to be like…he is so anxious to be with all my bosses. They are very cliquish….this isn’t just a normal group. These are high profile CEOs…that have to be handled delicately. I make good money because of the way I deal with them.

 

If I told him to stay home…he would NOT be okay. He told me he would be done with me…. I should say that he's basically admitted the problem is that he feels inadequate and insecure. I'm going to be with millionaire CEOs all day...and leaving him "in the closet"

 

Am I too sensitive here? Am I overreacting? I’m just worried about my job and the way he might behave.

Edited February 5, 2016 by thisisme2

[Scarlett.O'hara]

No, you aren't overrating, his behavior is completely over the top. You have tried to accommodate him in a way many people wouldn't, yet he still isn't satisfied.

 

He is using his own insecurities to emotionally blackmail and control you. It isn't healthy.

 

The biggest red flag was his threat to go out and meet other women. In his twisted logic you interacting with men at work is an excuse to do that which isn't ok. Whether he has followed through on his threat or not, I'm not sure, but I wouldn't ignore it.

 

At this point I don't think there is anything you can do to stop this controlling and manipulative behavior. He needs to seek professional help for his issues.

 

I know it is easier said than done, but you have to have a limit of what you are prepared to tolerate. You can't let him control your life.