MightyPen Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I've been reflecting recently on what I really value in a serious partner and I was curious to see how other people "ranked" traits as well. I know not everyone will agree that the following are the most important traits but I tried to hit most of the big ones without having a list a mile long. Rank these in their order of importance to you when considering a long-term romantic partner... Looks/Physique Sense of humor Intelligence Shared Values & Beliefs Shared Interests Sexual Chemistry Here's how I rank them... 1) Intelligence 2) Sense of Humor 3) Shared Values & Beliefs 4) Sexual Chemistry 5) Looks/Physique 6) Shared Interests Anyone else want to chime in? Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Well, I'll be honest... 1) Looks/Physique 2) Sexual Chemistry 3) Intelligence 4) Shared Values & Beliefs 5) Shared Interests 6) Sense of Humor I'm a 33 yo. straight male. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Looks/Physique Sense of humor Intelligence Shared Values & Beliefs Shared Interests Sexual Chemistry 1. Shared Values & Beliefs 2. Sexual Chemistry 3. Intelligence 4. Sense of Humor 5. Shared Interests 6. Looks/Physique It was a little hard because the kind of humor I appreciate sort of requires intelligence (as in, Dumb and Dumber ain't funny) Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Compassion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 intelligence is #1 with me Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 you forgot Compassion and Honesty 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Kindness goes a long way....I don't rank because people are more than just a set of preferences. Relationships are fluid and what you find attractive or necessary at twenty, you won't care about at forty. Best, G 4 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Kindness goes a long way....I don't rank because people are more than just a set of preferences. Relationships are fluid and what you find attractive or necessary at twenty, you won't care about at forty. Best, G that's true Gbf Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 So maybe i'm just incredibly picky but I wouldn't be interested at all in pursuing a relationship where I felt any of this was lacking! I don't think I deserve to settle, I don't think anyone deserves to be settled for - I wouldn't settle for a 10/10 who couldn't make me laugh, I wouldn't settle for a girl who I was totally in sync with who I wasn't attracted to! If that makes me sound a picky b*stard then I'm just a picky b*stard! I think the key is though, when you meet the right person lists go out the window.. theres all this other stuff like the smirk she does when she's trying not to laugh, the look she gives me when I do something nice and she doesn't know what to say, and her mad rock-paper-scissor skills! Where'd I even start to put that on the list. You meet the right person and they become a person not a list of components! Guess if I had too.... (but theres literally nothing between them) Shared Values & Beliefs Sense of humor Intelligence Sexual Chemistry Shared Interests Looks/Physique 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Trustworthy. Respectful. Communicative. Relatively similar views on: Religion Children Family values Intellectual Curious articulate versatile Educated Open-minded Humorous Even-tempered considerate Assertive. Meh... That'll do fer starters..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 # of Facebook friends & likes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 # of Facebook friends & likes. Yeah, the fewer the better Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 If I had to rank them, I'd go: 1. Intelligence 2. Sexual Chemistry 3. Looks/Physique 4. Shared Values and Beliefs 5. Shared Interests 6. Sense of Humor Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 1. Sexual Chemistry 2. Sense of humor 3. Intelligence 4. Looks/Physique 5. Shared Values & Beliefs 6. Shared Interests Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Those who stated 'sexual chemistry' and 'Looks/physique' as being of primary importance, are obviously quite young. I'm even astonished myself at how low those priorities sink down the list, the longer you've known, been with and loved someone.... As you mature, those characteristics fade into virtual insignificance, and pale by comparison, to humour, intellect and shared interests.... Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Those who stated 'sexual chemistry' and 'Looks/physique' as being of primary importance, are obviously quite young. I'm even astonished myself at how low those priorities sink down the list, the longer you've known, been with and loved someone.... As you mature, those characteristics fade into virtual insignificance, and pale by comparison, to humour, intellect and shared interests.... Sexual chemistry is different than looks/physique. I want out if there is no sexual chemistry but I can deal if my girl doesn't like video games or horror movies. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Well, I'll be honest... 1) Looks/Physique 2) Sexual Chemistry 3) Intelligence 4) Shared Values & Beliefs 5) Shared Interests 6) Sense of Humor I'm a 33 yo. straight male. To defend my shallowness... 1) Looks/Physique - without this, it's a no-go. There are billions of women in the world. I'm not even going to buy her a drink I'm not attracted to her. never dated an unattractive woman yet. Never will. 2) Sexual Chemistry - without this, you can make it into my bed, but only once. 3) Intelligence - without this, you can be an FWB, but not a GF. 4) Shared Values & Beliefs - I really don't expect a partner to share the same values and beliefs as me. I rarely date women with the same values and beliefs as me. It seems to work better this way actually. 5) Shared Interests - totally unimportant. I don't spending 45 minutes picking out my shampoo and conditioner, I don't expect them to know the difference between a knucklehead and a panhead. 6) Sense of Humor - unlikely. now we're hunting unicorns. I've never met a woman who fulfills #1, #2 and also manages to be funny (on purpose that is, people laughing at you is not the same as being funny) Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Yeah, like I said: CURRENTLY this is where your priorities lie. In time, you'll find they will change. Things evolve and transform. What is vital and urgent to you now, will be remote and inconsequential in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Yeah, like I said: CURRENTLY this is where your priorities lie. In time, you'll find they will change. Things evolve and transform. What is vital and urgent to you now, will be remote and inconsequential in time. Still have to disagree, even in time. I want to be banging my wife, or SOMEONE, even if I'm 65+. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 You may believe that now, because you're not 65. There's nothing anywhere that guarantees you'll even be here then, let alone capable. I've been 18, 21, 26, 32, 38, 41 46, 50..... I can assure you that the priorities (both mine and those of my partners) definitely changed and evolved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 kindness and gentleness compassion empathy courage( i think actually this comes first) shared beliefs and values honesty reliability steadfastness openness non judgmental caring generous spirit loving physically strong passionate about life makes a passionate lover Link to post Share on other sites
readynow Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 1. Intelligence 2. Net worth (I was raised in Africa - sue me ) 3. Sexual Chemistry 4. Sense of Humour 5. Looks/Physique 6. Shared Values & Beliefs 7. Shared Interests Link to post Share on other sites
hellohellohello Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 1. Chemistry 2. Sexual Attraction I've noticed having Shared Values & Beliefs, Shared Interests, and even the same Sense of Humour, means squat if you're just not on the same wavelength. I've never cared much for Looks/Physique and Intelligence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Since these were the original choices this is my order...but these are not necessarily the attributes i would have selected. Shared Interests Shared Values & Beliefs intelligence Sense of humor Looks/physique Sexual chemistry I agree with Taramaiden2... our requirements, our needs and wants change as we grow older and wiser. Physical attributes certainly change with age. As young people when hormones are raging i can see where looks and sexual chemistry are extremely attractive and they certainly were for me....but having lived with my husband for 43 years....compatibility and a sense of humor is most definitely required. While sex is still very important to both of us...if it was gone tomorrow...I would still just want to be together....sharing life....Being together is the most important thing in the world to us. We are each others best friend.... The old adage....getting old is not for sissys...is more true every day. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingluck Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) For me: Great smile that is used often Intellectual curiosity Life goals / ambition Shared values Emotional connection Friendship Mutual respect and admiration Appreciation of socializing Willingness to try new things Some shared interests Edited October 10, 2015 by seekingluck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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