Roommate Guest Policies

[Miss Peach]

I'm in my 30s and am in my first roommate situation. The roommate is a long-time friend who wants to split expenses. I was always able to live alone or with a BF when younger so this is new to me.

 

What are some of the rules people have had regarding visiting guests? I'm negotiating some of this out with my roommate and I'm just wanting to see what I might be forgetting to address.

 

I tend to like to have friends and a BF over while my roommate is more of a loner who values privacy. I want to make sure we both feel comfortable.

[MissBee]

Best thing, as you've said, is to just have a frank conversation with her about your preferences and have her share hers and you can discuss from there any points of disagreement or compromise. Also, try to establish some kind of open channel of communication to address any issues that might come up, as sometimes it's not until you get into the swing of living together that actual little or big things start coming up that you probably didn't even think about in the beginning.

 

I'm the opposite, I've always had roommates. From college and now in grad school. I currently have two roommates which was a little more to negotiate than with just one. But we discussed our preferences and came to compromises and things to go by, we also have a once a week time to check in about anything so that grievances don't accumulate and lead to passive aggression.

 

For me, my main concern was not having a roommate's bf essentially live with us. So we decided that as courtesy letting us know when guests esp overnight ones were coming over would do and esp if they were staying over for more than an overnight. We also agreed that more than 2 consecutive overnight stay for bfs (unless the person is coming in from out of town) shouldn't be the norm. That is Tim shouldn't be sleeping over Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Break it up. Give us some space. Make it every other night or every two nights or 3 nights a week or something where it doesn't just feel like Tim is a 4th roommate.

 

In terms of non bf guests we just talked about letting each other know esp if it's something like a bigger hang out or get together. I'm quite introverted at home. I like to socialize when I choose to but home for me is where I recharge and want peace and quiet sometimes so I would be on edge if I have a roommate who constantly has people in and out (which I've had before with a past roommate, I came home once to literally 30 people in our apartment because she was hosting a meeting).

 

The most important thing is setting ground rules and then setting a space to communicate as issues arise, which they will.

Edited October 8, 2015 by MissBee

[compulsivedancer]

Best thing, as you've said, is to just have a frank conversation with her about your preferences and have her share hers and you can discuss from there any points of disagreement or compromise. Also, try to establish some kind of open channel of communication to address any issues that might come up, as sometimes it's not until you get into the swing of living together that actual little or big things start coming up that you probably didn't even think about in the beginning.

 

I'm the opposite, I've always had roommates. From college and now in grad school. I currently have two roommates which was a little more to negotiate than with just one. But we discussed our preferences and came to compromises and things to go by, we also have a once a week time to check in about anything so that grievances don't accumulate and lead to passive aggression.

 

For me, my main concern was not having a roommate's bf essentially live with us. So we decided that as courtesy letting us know when guests esp overnight ones were coming over would do and esp if they were staying over for more than an overnight. We also agreed that more than 2 consecutive overnight stay for bfs (unless the person is coming in from out of town) shouldn't be the norm. That is Tim shouldn't be sleeping over Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Break it up. Give us some space. Make it every other night or every two nights or 3 nights a week or something where it doesn't just feel like Tim is a 4th roommate.

 

In terms of non bf guests we just talked about letting each other know esp if it's something like a bigger hang out or get together. I'm quite introverted at home. I like to socialize when I choose to but home for me is where I recharge and want peace and quiet sometimes so I would be on edge if I have a roommate who constantly has people in and out (which I've had before with a past roommate, I came home once to literally 30 people in our apartment because she was hosting a meeting).

 

The most important thing is setting ground rules and then setting a space to communicate as issues arise, which they will.

Great advice!

[mystikmind2005]

Don't watch Big Bang Theory! lol