Guyouthere Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Would you date another who put you down for your "own good" if you knew you could improve in that area? (just meant for general discussion, not referring to anyone specific). Comments welcome Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I have and she was right to do so IMO. We're no longer together though but remain friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I have and she was right to do so IMO. We're no longer together though but remain friends. what did she do? Just curious Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 What do you mean "put you down"? Do you mean call you out on some bad behavior, or demean/humiliate/be ugly? The former sometimes has to happen with people with love. The latter seems mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 What do you mean "put you down"? Do you mean call you out on some bad behavior, or demean/humiliate/be ugly? The former sometimes has to happen with people with love. The latter seems mean. Emasculate…. (she said I needed to improve with sex and kissing for my own good, that the way I didn't wasn't "sufficient"). That is only one example. I have never been told that by the other women I have been with, never. There was another comment she made saying "I need to loo at myself and ask why I am even with you". My last one did it…. I believe because she had a big ego. I see it as a form of control. This seems to be an issue out there… was talking to my coworker tonight and he just left his woman because she belittled him too much. He doesn't even know my story. Link to post Share on other sites
htmshsj Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 No........ Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Hell no. There is NO reason to be with someone who puts you down. Putting someone down is NEVER for their own good. There is a big difference between providing constructive criticism or suggestions. In the case of kissing for example, if I don't like how a man kisses or I don't like something he does sexually, but I like him, I won't put him down. I will however, try to guide him to do it how I like it in a gentle way. The goal there is to improve what we have. Putting someone down, the goal isn't about improvement. It's about demeaning them and being hurtful and if someone loves or cares about you there should be NO PLACE for that kind of thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I don't think there is any excuse for meanness. However, if a much younger woman finds herself verbaling WTF she is doing with a guy old enough to be her dad, I would consider that rude, but also a sign of healthy self reflection on her part. She's right. She should wonder. Perhaps she shouldn't have said it out loud, but hey, someone had to be the adult and realize that thing wasn't realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Funny how this thread started. I just recently was messaging a friend on fb and turns out she just got divorced from being married a two years and a half. So I said, I will come visit her immediately and I drive almost two hours to go visit her. Turns out she's already moved on and living with the guy. (Here in Ontario, Canada you must be separated a year before filing). The way she would speak to the guy to me seemed very disrespectful. I don't understand it. Seriously, I find guys like women to be bitches towards them. She wouldnt ask him to do things, but demand it. One thing I have learned, is for a successful relationship. One person must allow the other person to be dominate. Next story: This married couple visited my mother, I went to help her out. The husband is intelligent, funny, awesome to talk to and his wife is freaking annoying. Every time, there would be a conversation, she would always start a secondary conversation. He even told me this great piece of advice, always make your man feel important, not to belittle him in front of others which is basic common sense, but his wife demonstrated this right in front of us. Come on, this is like basic manners. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Oops I rambled without answering a question. Girls are taught from a young age that boys who tease you like you, which is utter ****. No, when a guy I like is mean to me. I get put off. I want us to feel good together? So being a dick to me isn't going to win any favours. I despise bad attitude and manners. I have usually observe how a man treats his mother, if he yells at her and is rude constantly. Guess what pattern hesngoinf to follow? I don't mean a mamas boy either, because I'm not competing with your mother. Link to post Share on other sites
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