Need some insight on a situation with my Ex girlfriend

[Rhett216]

So I met this girl at community college, (she was dual enrolled in highschool I was actually a freshman in college). We dated for the whole semester, and then started to carry our relationship into the summer. We fought a decent amount and all of her friends hated me (which she ended up lying to all of them & me and acted like she left me one time because she cared so much about their opinion) but we still saw each other almost everyday and I really liked her.

 

So she is going to this big university in a college town in the fall, and I will be in the same college town at a smaller university. I dumped her about two weeks ago because of all the arguing, and on that specific day she was ditching me for her friends so it came to a head and I dumped her. After that we didn't talk for two days, and after that she told me her plan. Her parents had sat down with her (both really liked me) and told her their expectations for her in college. They told her that her college should be her boyfriend, and that they didn't support her having a relationship.

 

She said she was under a lot of pressure and she wanted to go into Uni alone to get her "feet wet". Basically we met up about two weeks ago, talked about all this and she told me she didn't want me too move on. And also acted like she wanted me to wait on her, when their was no guranteed relationship. Since then, she barely talked to me for about a week and I got upset because she basically was acting like she didn't care.

 

Over that time span she said "I'm living my life but I still miss you all the time" "I love you" "I miss you" and all this other stuff. Now, she hasn't even texted me for about a week. I know the right thing to do is not contact her, but I'm still confused.

Edited August 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[lolablue17]

When things are complicated, you just have to make them simple.

 

She can't put you on hold. If she decides that she isn't fully committed, no matter what her reasons are, it's time for you to move on, no hard feelings.

[spiderowl]

If she doesn't want to date while she's at college, then she can't expect you to wait unless she has confirmed she is your girlfriend and you agree that you are her boyfriend. If there is no mutual agreement, then you are a free agent.

 

She's obviously keen to keep in touch but I can't see how she can expect anything of you.

[Gloria25]

Where do I begin here....

 

Ok, please try to see where her parents are coming from...Too many women get "distracted" while in college and blow it all away for partying, a social life and/or a dude. So, while college is a great place to meet guys w/o the pressure of marriage before you graduate and have a smaller pool of quality people to date...at the same time, some girls fall into the partying/hook-up culture and first bout of "independence" that they get distracted from completing.

 

So, that brings me to what you, her, and her parents consider "dating"...cuz, I'd be cool with my kids dating w/o sex (that includes oral, anal, and/or manual) cuz college is also the perfect opportunity to really get to date, know others and figure out who/what you want in a mate w/o the pressures of actual dating and sex.

 

Now you said she "hooked up" while on a double date the other day. Was that with you?

 

So, I don't see anything wrong in you "waiting" for her, but can't you two see each other w/o her parents knowing? I mean did they put spy devices on her celphone or something? Can't you two hang out on a friendship level and get to know each other in the meantime? I mean, I'm assuming you're both early 20's and can handle 4 years w/o sex...trust me, I'm going on 40, you'll have time after college to have aalllllll the sex you want.

[Toodaloo]

Your confused because she is all over the place so take control and next time just text back the simple phrase "Please do not send me any more texts/ emails. Good luck"

 

Then ignore, block, delete...

 

Your young.

 

Keep your life simple and don't get your knickers in a twist when others try to involve you in make believe and dramas... Its just not worth it.

 

Good luck at college. You will have a riot!

[PegNosePete]

She is messing with your head.

 

You dumped her for a reason. If you were to get back together do you think things would be any different?

 

No, no they would not. You would end up fighting and unhappy again.

 

Don't contact her any more. Ignore her craziness and irrational mixed messages. Move on with your life.

[mightycpa]

This is pretty simple, really. Her parents have given her good advice. Not just for her, but for you. Look at your own college experience. Here you are at some podunk community college, first year, and BOOM! You meet this great girl.

 

Think for a moment how much better this will be at a real college. Here are a couple of facts for your consideration:

 

She's going to be living in a dorm with boys and girls at a big University. These people will be smart, ambitious, interesting, horny and very close to her. You're going to be living in a dorm with the same thing. In both cases, these new schools will have many more students than your community college, or her high school. You will both meet new people you are interested in, guaranteed, just like you met her.

 

Both of you are going to want to take advantage of that.

 

You can either quit on her now, or when school starts or decide to continue to see each other but not often, and not exclusively. Reject this waiting nonsense. Whoever waits will get hurt.

[Chi townD]

Sorry dude. But, you have way too many outside influences invading the relationship.

 

 

Her friends don't like you and that's probably because they feel like you're taking her away from them (I mean; lets face it, they're still in high school and are just being to understand mature situations). Her parents like you, but they want their daughter to succeed. Large Universities are tough and they don't care if you mess up. So, they're concerned that a relationship might hinder her full potential. Take away her focus from her studies. It's not a slight against you, it's their daughter and they want her to succeed.

 

 

Plus, and take this as you will. It sounded like you were a bit too possessive. I could be wrong on that. But, it sounded like you were trying to corner all of her free time for yourself. And it's understandable to want to be with your girlfriend as much as possible, but she does have other responsibilities to attend to.

 

 

To be honest, I knew that there was trouble in the relationship when your Ex had to HIDE your relationship from others. Girls LOVE to show off their man. To talk about there man to everyone and is usually proud to be on his arm in public. When you have to hide it, then that's not good.

 

 

Sorry dude. But, I think it's time to move on. It was selfish of her to ask you to put your life on hold while she lives hers. That's not fair to you. So, I think it's time to focus on you and your future.