hopeliveshere Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I was good friends with the guy I used to work with. After a couple of years of great friendship, we started hooking up. We never really discussed what was happening or set rules. We would see each other all the time and have sex maybe 2-3 times per month. Over time, he became one of my closest friends. About a year ago, he left his job but we remained close. Our relationship has always been a rollercoaster ride. He has had a long history of using me to get things he wants. About 6 months ago, he moved to a new city and he willingly gave me the key to his place. I didn't know what to make of it. I was very confused but I didn't want to offend him so I took the key. Lately, we have been hanging out almost everyday after work. Last week, I overheard him talking on the phone (he put it on speaker) about this new girl he has been seeing( he gave me his key a week after he got back from visiting her). She lives in the other side of the country and he has already gone a couple of times to visit her and she has visited him once. Somehow, he didn't think it was necessary to tell me this. I clearly got upset. I am not upset that he is seeing someone else but rather that he lied to me. He was also willing to sleep with me while he is dating this girl. That said so much about his character. I felt that our friendship was a fraud. To make things worse, he is always asking for sex and even gets jealous when I am talking to my other guy friends. I find this ridiculous. I feel the right thing to do here is to cut my loses and move on. However, part of me is stuck on the good times we've had. He is also giving me so many mixed signals. When I told him that I wasn't happy with him, he got really upset. He said that he was just "talking to her and if he was in a relationship , he would back off ". I no longer know what to believe. I want him to stay my friend but he has really hurt me. I strongly believe that if I am good enough to *&$!, I should also be good enough to love. I am also embarrassed to say that I might have developed feelings for him but i can't tell if it is just me not wanting to lose him . . I really don't know how to proceed. I don't want to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. I am getting so much anxiety over this. Please share your thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Either continue to just see him for "good times w/o expectations" or cut you losses and move on... You started this off on a bad foot (sex and good times w/o laying out expectations) and life ain't like in the movies where he's gonna fall in love and you two ride off in the sunset...sorry BTW, him giving you the keys means nothing...it probably means he just wants to make your meetings more "convenient" for him (like shack-ups, no commitment but with all the "perks" of sex, a maid and/or cook). And his "mixed signals" is him trying to keep you around while he plays the field...sorry. If you meant more to him than her (or any other chick) he'd have pictures of you at his place, your stuff at his place and/or he would have introduced you to her or vice-versa. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeliveshere Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Thank you so much for replying. I completely agree with your point. Sometimes, you need a different person to tell you what you already know. Link to post Share on other sites
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