Men....20's - 30's

[Gloria25]

I was starting my Sex and the City DVD watches from the first series and in that show, they show like comments from guys and women...Now, I've heard all the comments before, but even though I heard it before, one grabbed my attention.

 

The comment was from guys...

 

They were like 'In your 20's women are in control (probably cuz guys are naive, young and horny)...then in your 30's there's a power shift (probably cuz guys get more experience, self confidence and/or are established in their careers/education/money).

 

How do you feel about that comment?

 

I believe it is true - even for women...with age you get more experience, more selective in your partners, and less likely to settle.

 

For men, if they make it to their 30's w/o getting married - they probably get into a place where they don't feel pressured to - like they were in their 20's.

 

The only thing I didn't like about the Sex and the City is where they put the blame on this power shift on men...they labeled the men "toxic bachelors"...but, I feel that if women stood their ground and didn't open up their legs so easily, guys would be forced to have to still marry and/or commit - even in their 30's.

[thefooloftheyear]

I was starting my Sex and the City DVD watches from the first series and in that show, they show like comments from guys and women...Now, I've heard all the comments before, but even though I heard it before, one grabbed my attention.

 

The comment was from guys...

 

They were like 'In your 20's women are in control (probably cuz guys are naive, young and horny)...then in your 30's there's a power shift (probably cuz guys get more experience, self confidence and/or are established in their careers/education/money).

 

How do you feel about that comment?

 

I believe it is true - even for women...with age you get more experience, more selective in your partners, and less likely to settle.

 

For men, if they make it to their 30's w/o getting married - they probably get into a place where they don't feel pressured to - like they were in their 20's.

 

The only thing I didn't like about the Sex and the City is where they put the blame on this power shift on men...they labeled the men "toxic bachelors"...but, I feel that if women stood their ground and didn't open up their legs so easily, guys would be forced to have to still marry and/or commit - even in their 30's.

 

 

 

"it just takes time for her circumstances to match their looks"

 

 

TFY

Edited April 19, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[Hawaii51]

I agree with it.

 

There's this struggle for women to find someone with resources, but also someone that fits the bill (attractive, smart, experienced, charming etc), and the early 30s is where some men have earned both.

 

It's entertaining to see a superficially beautiful (cheap) woman age awkwardly.

[calvincline47]

I was starting my Sex and the City DVD watches from the first series and in that show, they show like comments from guys and women...Now, I've heard all the comments before, but even though I heard it before, one grabbed my attention.

 

The comment was from guys...

 

They were like 'In your 20's women are in control (probably cuz guys are naive, young and horny)...then in your 30's there's a power shift (probably cuz guys get more experience, self confidence and/or are established in their careers/education/money).

 

How do you feel about that comment?

 

I believe it is true - even for women...with age you get more experience, more selective in your partners, and less likely to settle.

 

For men, if they make it to their 30's w/o getting married - they probably get into a place where they don't feel pressured to - like they were in their 20's.

 

The only thing I didn't like about the Sex and the City is where they put the blame on this power shift on men...they labeled the men "toxic bachelors"...but, I feel that if women stood their ground and didn't open up their legs so easily, guys would be forced to have to still marry and/or commit - even in their 30's.

 

I agree with this, but I think it's for different reasons.

 

Men become more established in their 30s than in their 20s, in general, and are more confident.

 

However, women (again, in general) are looking to have children in their 30s. For women that want children and don't have them, their early to mid 30s is crunch time. It becomes significantly more difficult to bear children once women get into their mid-30s (I know I know....this is taboo and most people on internet forums refuse to believe this fact for some reason).

 

Men, however, are able to bear children pretty much until they die (the quality of those children may vary though lol).

 

I believe that we all know these things on an instinctive level, which is why people act the way they do.

[Robert Z]

The only thing I didn't like about the Sex and the City is where they put the blame on this power shift on men...they labeled the men "toxic bachelors"...but, I feel that if women stood their ground and didn't open up their legs so easily, guys would be forced to have to still marry and/or commit - even in their 30's.

 

 

So you want men to be forced into marriage because they are desperate for sex?

[Gloria25]

So you want men to be forced into marriage because they are desperate for sex?

 

No...cuz, that's what ends up happening to them in their 20's and back in the day...

 

I think the flip side is now happening - where guys - by the time they figure out that they don't have to marry to get laid, instead of them being selective and just staying with one woman, they are running the streets and getting laid left/right cuz there's an endless supply of women who will have sex, shack-up, even have kids w/o marriage now a days...Sex and the City calls them "toxic bachelors".

[Robert Z]

No...cuz, that's what ends up happening to them in their 20's and back in the day...

 

I think the flip side is now happening - where guys - by the time they figure out that they don't have to marry to get laid, instead of them being selective and just staying with one woman, they are running the streets and getting laid left/right cuz there's an endless supply of women who will have sex, shack-up, even have kids w/o marriage now a days...Sex and the City calls them "toxic bachelors".

 

I don't quite see the difference between what I said and what you said.

 

 

Don't you think they would stop running if they fell in love? Or is it possible that these are men who could never be loyal because they are not the monogamous types? Maybe it isn't in their nature to be selective and stay with one woman?

[craw]

I'm suspicious of meeting a good looking, intelligent guy 34 year old and single..

[calvincline47]

I'm suspicious of meeting a good looking, intelligent guy 34 year old and single..

 

This is mostly a generalization.

 

I'm 28 and have been single for a good portion of my life (flings here and there...and hookups, but very few relationships). I would say that there's a good chance that I'll be single when I'm 34.

 

I'm told that I'm good-looking and intelligent (though I am short, which hinders me somewhat).

 

So there are always exceptions.

[Hawaii51]

I'm suspicious of meeting a good looking, intelligent guy 34 year old and single..

 

It's easy for us guys, we can just count your cats.

[craw]

^^^ I LOL'd so hard.

 

I was actually thinking he might be this secret international playa.

 

This is mostly a generalization.

 

I'm 28 and have been single for a good portion of my life (flings here and there...and hookups, but very few relationships). I would say that there's a good chance that I'll be single when I'm 34.

 

I'm told that I'm good-looking and intelligent (though I am short, which hinders me somewhat).

 

So there are always exceptions.

 

I don't think it hinders you, you just might be meeting shallow women.

[calvincline47]

I don't think it hinders you, you just might be meeting shallow women.

 

My point was that just because a guy in his 30s and single does not mean that he's a player.

[Revolver]

Sex in the city is what Girls thinks it is

[Gloria25]

Sex in the city is what Girls thinks it is

 

Oh gosh, I will never watch "Girls"...

 

IMO, that show is symbolic of the scrappy chicks that roll around now a days...no class, no ambition, neurotic, no self-esteem - pretty much idiots. "Girls" is a crude attempt at topping Sex and the City.

 

SNL had a skit with Tina Fey that summarized what "Girls" is all about...

 

Watch Girls Meet Blerta From Saturday Night Live - NBC.com

[Diezel]

It's also about perceived sexual market value.

That's the biggest reason for the shift.

[Hawaii51]

 

I was actually thinking he might be this secret international playa.

 

 

That's what I'm saying. Men are become George Clooney-James bond*esc, while most women are just put through the wringer or tanning bed. If you're high quality the entire spectrum of woman can become your pantry. Just like the amazingly hot 25 yr old woman can get whatever she wants. But it's better quality later in life

[No Limit]

then in your 30's there's a power shift (probably cuz guys get more experience, self confidence and/or are established in their careers/education/money).

 

A woman in her 30s who has an established career and everything herself still won't be an easy catch. To be honest I'd guess that men have the upper hand in their 30s because there are a lot of women who are single mothers after getting knocked up by their "love of her life" who are now looking for a caretaker.

[calvincline47]

A woman in her 30s who has an established career and everything herself still won't be an easy catch. To be honest I'd guess that men have the upper hand in their 30s because there are a lot of women who are single mothers after getting knocked up by their "love of her life" who are now looking for a caretaker.

 

Depends on whether or not she wants children....

[No Limit]

Depends on whether or not she wants children....

 

Fertility clinic/sperm donor. HA!

[Diezel]

A woman in her 30s who has an established career and everything herself still won't be an easy catch.

 

A man in his 30's who has an established career doesn't necessarily care about "catching" a woman in her 30's with all of these things.

[Gloria25]

A man in his 30's who has an established career doesn't necessarily care about "catching" a woman in her 30's with all of these things.

 

Agreed ^^...

 

IMO, a guy who seeks a woman who can bring in money either: doesn't have his poop together; is too lazy to and/or unwilling to assume the responsibility of being the breadwinner for a wife and kids; is more worried about "stuff" he and the wife will accumulate rather than have a wife and mother present for the kids and him; and/or he was raised by a feminist and/or has his brain washed by the feminist movement - where he should be ok with a woman putting a job/career over a home and the family.

[calvincline47]

Fertility clinic/sperm donor. HA!

 

Sperm donor can work.

 

Fertility clinic has a 1/3 chance of working at best. It gets tougher at advanced maternal age.

 

On the plus side, for us single men, it's never been easier to have a child without a woman in our lives.

[calvincline47]

A man in his 30's who has an established career doesn't necessarily care about "catching" a woman in her 30's with all of these things.

 

True, in a way.

 

I will be in my 30s soon and, personally, I wouldn't want a woman without a career, due to the divorce laws in this country. So I'm pretty hard on women, career-wise. They have to be doing well for themselves before I'd consider seriously dating them.

 

Of course, then you get into the women that are successful, but have too many masculine qualities and/or are looking for Mr. Perfect (which I am not).

 

So, as a man, I can't really win these days regardless of what I do (unless, perhaps, I settle in a third world country and stay there).

[toolforgrowth]

Agreed ^^...

 

IMO, a guy who seeks a woman who can bring in money either: doesn't have his poop together; is too lazy to and/or unwilling to assume the responsibility of being the breadwinner for a wife and kids; is more worried about "stuff" he and the wife will accumulate rather than have a wife and mother present for the kids and him; and/or he was raised by a feminist and/or has his brain washed by the feminist movement - where he should be ok with a woman putting a job/career over a home and the family.

 

I fully expect my GF to work and pay for herself. And you're right, I don't want to be the breadwinner for a family. I did that for seven years and all it got me was cheated on.

 

Men are realizing that being the breadwinner is no longer the societal role women (generally) want them to play. As far as I'm concerned, I think it's fantastic. Women are adults, have two arms and legs, and can do whatever I can do. I was not put on this earth to carry another human being through life (with the exception of my daughter of course).

 

And really, the most important thing here is what does the individual woman want? Does she want to be a stay at home mom? Or does she want to work? My GF wants to work. I support her in that decision, because I want a partner who doesn't need my money.

 

I'll be the first guy in line to criticize feminism, but not ALL of it is bad. Every human being, including women, should have the right to self determination, regardless of what you or I think about it.

[toolforgrowth]

A man in his 30's who has an established career doesn't necessarily care about "catching" a woman in her 30's with all of these things.

 

I think an established man in his 30's catches whatever he wants to catch. I don't think there's any "right" or "wrong" to it. Does he want a housewife? Does he want a woman with a career? Does he want a girl toy in her 20's for sexual release and nothing more?

 

Guys in their 20's chase whatever they think they can get indiscriminately. At least, that's been my observation. Guys in their 30's get a lot pickier, I think, because they can be. An established guy has more value in the relationship and sexual marketplace.