Penguin_hugs Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Hi there I wasn't sure where to post this- it fits under a lot of categories- and I don't mind if no one reads it- I just wanted to get some things off of my chest! Me and my boyfriend are in a LDR, we met online and he used to live about 40 mins away in the town inbetween my home town and where I study at Uni. We used to see each other most weekends. About 8 months ago he moved further away for work so now we tend to see each other every fortnight as it takes between 2 and 3 and a half hours to get there on the train (due to Sunday trains). We tick along like that- I'm in my final year of uni and intending to move up to where he is in around 18 months. This week was my birthday- and it was pretty rubbish. I had an exam the next day, so I spent the day in my room revising and barely spoke to my housemates that day! Final year is really stressful, and I have a lot of deadlines really soon. I'm working really hard- but I'm getting increasingly wound up by my housemate. We are on the same course- so she has the same deadlines as me, but she has just stopped working for about the last month. I've reached the point where I believe that it's her choice if she wants to fail, but I'd like to not be disturbed in the process. Instead- everything she does is driving me insane. She has recently got a boyfriend (who works around the country) and it's like he has moved in. He's been here about 16 nights in 4 weeks and when he is here he has 2 showers a day and constantly has things plugged in using the electric. Usually I have no problems with the odd thing like that- but he's not contributing in any way to the bills, and the girl is notoriously bad at paying up her bill money anyway (I end up paying extra a lot because it is easier than asking for the 50 millionth time). Anyway, I came home after a long day last week to find that my clothes drying on my clothes rack were dumped on the floor and the guy's stuff was on there instead! I was unimpressed- but I never feel like I can say anything. I let that slide- but now the girl's brother has come on 2 occasions to do his washing (and he does 3 loads each time!). I think it's nagging on me more because she still hasn't paid up her last bill money. I even travelled home for a few days for a break from it as I got worked up. Anyway- I was really stressed and have really been looking forward to seeing my boyfriend tomorrow for a belated birthday meal- but he just contacted me to say he can't come down now as his boss has called him in to work (he has to make a lot of international calls at odd hours). I understand this completely- and I am usually able to brush these things off- but I think being generally stressed and wound up just made me over react and I burst in to tears I won't see him for another 4 weeks now due to deadlines I just had it in my head that if I could make it to tomorrow- everything would be ok again- and now my plans are all cancelled. Sorry for the rant I don't even know what I am expecting from a response- I just needed to vent! Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Happy Belated bday!! :bunny: These things happen. I totally get your disappointment especially since you are so stressed and you miss your bf and seeing him would have given you that little break and that nice pause from everything else. I get that But maybe you can still treat yourself to a nice massage (that would be a nice de-stressing bday gift to yourself) or if you can't afford that - how about a nice pedicure. I get your disappointment, but maybe taking a lil break and treating yourself like that will help. **HUGS** Link to post Share on other sites
Author Penguin_hugs Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Thanks Tiger Cub, I don't know why it upset me so much- just overly stressed with everything I guess. I ended up skyping my boyfriend for a few hours last night just to be in the background while we were both working- which really helped as I am feeling pretty lonely at the moment! My mum decided to come visit today and take me out for lunch as a bit of a break Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Thanks Tiger Cub, I don't know why it upset me so much- just overly stressed with everything I guess. I ended up skyping my boyfriend for a few hours last night just to be in the background while we were both working- which really helped as I am feeling pretty lonely at the moment! My mum decided to come visit today and take me out for lunch as a bit of a break That's fantastic!! Being away from family & partners makes a stressful time even more difficult. I totally get it. Enjoy your time with your mom today - that should be awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 OP, I think you really need to move away from your housemate ASAP. What use is a housemate who doesn't pay her own share of the bills yet brings people home to increase the bills? Regardless of what your bf does or doesn't do, it doesn't change the fact that you're living in a ****ty situation, which increases your stress. That being said, sorry to hear about how your birthday turned out. At 3 hours apart and with work getting in the way, I can understand how he might end up having to cancel plans at the last minute, but I can also understand how awful it feels. Glad to hear your mum came to visit you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Penguin_hugs Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 OP, I think you really need to move away from your housemate ASAP. What use is a housemate who doesn't pay her own share of the bills yet brings people home to increase the bills? Regardless of what your bf does or doesn't do, it doesn't change the fact that you're living in a ****ty situation, which increases your stress. That being said, sorry to hear about how your birthday turned out. At 3 hours apart and with work getting in the way, I can understand how he might end up having to cancel plans at the last minute, but I can also understand how awful it feels. Glad to hear your mum came to visit you. Unfortunately I can't get out of my living situation- I have a contract that I can't get out of easily- and I only have 10 weeks left of uni too. So there isn't much point going through the stress of moving (particularly when 3 of those weeks are the Easter break and I can go stay with my Mum or my BF then). I don't blame my BF for cancelling- I think I was more upset with the situation. And I think hormones got in the way and blew things out of proportion too. My BF is trying to rearrange things atm so he can visit tomorrow evening- but it will be a short visit as I have Uni again at 8am the next day! At least it would be something as I won't see him til the end of the month otherwise. We've done 6 weeks apart once before while he was writing up his PhD thesis- but I really hate it! Thanks for the replies- I do feel so much better getting this off my chest. I saw my mum today for lunch which was good- and I had a good rant about everything. I think she is now a bit more aware that I am unhappy with everything at the moment- so she's going to try visiting a bit more when I get really worked up Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 do talk to your roommate and since her boyfriend is there a lot, he must respect some rules and not just make himself 'at home' so much. He is a guest. He's not helping with rent money or contributing in any way (cleaning up, being considerate) so either he starts paying some $$ or he can stop coming over so much. This roommate is also taking advantage of you, stop being so kind and paying her share of the rent. She is using your kindness against you because she knows you won't say no to her. Stand up and tell her no more. Obviously when you talk to her have a calm discussion about stuff, but make your point that you are not her bank. Link to post Share on other sites
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