Lissa240 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I really need help to understand what to do. My bf breaks up with me on a weekly basis, he doesn't go through with it but says I should know that. He says he does it because I'm insecure, I started becoming insecure since he started leaving me all the time. He doesn't get that it really hurts to constantly be thrown out, just because. I get so upset I cry and that's annoying apparently. I don't know if I'm reacting inappropriately or not. He complains I'm sad but doesn't factor in that the day before he broke up with me...I am in constant heartbreak I don't really know how to fix this. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I'm sorry your bf is messing with your mind and toying with you. Why do you accept that kind of treatment though? When someone does that - a part of you checks out of the relationship anyways - how can you feel secure and happy when the person you're with keeps telling you that they don't want to be with you? Your bf is an ******* and the only way you can start to reclaim any self respect or any of your self esteem back is to actually break up with him and shut him out completely - don't listen to the tears and the guilt trips when he comes crawling back (which he will do when you are the one to break up with him) He's an ******* for doing that to you - don't accept crap like that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lissa240 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 I love him so much but no matter what I do it's wrong I just called to ask what he wants to do tonight and got abused for calling and that he would come over later. I didnt think just a quick call asking if you want to go to the movies or stay in was so offensive. I guess I'm just a loser like he says Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I love him so much but no matter what I do it's wrong I just called to ask what he wants to do tonight and got abused for calling and that he would come over later. I didnt think just a quick call asking if you want to go to the movies or stay in was so offensive. I guess I'm just a loser like he says Please explain what you love about this guy, cause there is nothing you've shared here that screams love. He sounds like an immature, abusive, little punk. You need to work on your self esteem and demand more from the people you love and claim to love you. What you've described isn't love. It's sick. And NO, you're not a loser, but he sure is. R-U-N 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 You are in a bad relationship that is only hurting you. You must not let yourself love someone who treats you that way! And if you don't start rejecting this sort of behavior, you will always attract that type of guy. It's up to you to stop putting up with it. You don't need anyone that bad! You're better off alone than with someone who is just punishing you all the time. If you have security issues in every relationship, then maybe it is time for some therapy to try to stop doing that. But this sounds a bit more like some abuse to me. Stop loving someone who is trying to hurt you. It makes no sense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lissa240 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 When he is happy we have the best fun. It's just when he gets moody he gets really angry and tears me up without a care. When he is happy he is the best. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 No one is the same all the time. No one is bad all the time or good all the time. But if someone is bad enough that they are tearing down your own feeling of well-being, then they are toxic to you and not good for you. Even a sociopath has times they are fun and funny. That doesn't make them boyfriend material. Love will never fix anyone. He will not improve with time. He will get worse and worse because he sees you'll put up with it. Children will not fix him. He will only screw up their lives. You have to face reality here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 (edited) I know you must love the guy or something but you need to leave him! He will not value you if you do not value yourself. You are worth far more than this. No boyfriend should be behaving like this. It sounds like he's managing to lay the blame on you for you being upset at his behaviour. Please check out 'cycle of abuse' online. Although that applies to guys who physically abuse women, it also applies to those who emotionally abuse women too. Fundamentally though, if he doesn't want to be with you, you need to get out. Once you have got somewhere else to live and surrounded yourself with people who do care about you - your friends, family, new neighbours or whatever - you will feel more supported. You can't make this guy love you, but another guy will one day and he won't put you through this treatment. Please take care of yourself; your feelings matter just as much as anyone else's and don't let him tell you otherwise. Edited March 7, 2015 by spiderowl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I love him so much but no matter what I do it's wrong I just called to ask what he wants to do tonight and got abused for calling and that he would come over later. I didnt think just a quick call asking if you want to go to the movies or stay in was so offensive. I guess I'm just a loser like he says YOU are not a loser, he is abusing you. Please run, before he sends you crazy. Signs of Emotional Abuse | World of Psychology 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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