NJ123 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Do relationships work a lot in this particular circumstance? Where if one has had a large amount of sex/sex partners & the other has hardly had any sex at all. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 It can work only as well as you can communicate with each other. It sounds like its in the past, so I don't see why its a huge problem. If you have insecurity about the number of sexual partners you have compared to theirs, then that is a totally separate issue that YOU need to work on. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 (edited) The partner with less experience may come to regret not having more in comparison, and this may not surface for a while - even years. Of course, it may never become an issue, but it there are any signs that it bothers them, be cautious. Most of the problems I've read or heard about seem to be when the man has less experience. Warning signs: questions about past lovers, sex acts, and comparisons with now. Edited March 6, 2015 by central Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 The partner with less experience may come to regret not having more in comparison, and this may not surface for a while - even years. Of course, it may never become an issue, but it there are any signs that it bothers them, be cautious. Most of the problems I've read or heard about seem to be when the man has less experience. Warning signs: questions about past lovers, sex acts, and comparisons with now. Yeah, I think that's a big thing where if they did more things in the bedroom with partners in the past compared to you, it could give them a weird vibe. They could think that they don't find you as attractive or something. Definitely could see how their would be a lot of insecurities about it. I posted the topic as a hypothetical, I'm not in this situation. I'd prefer a woman that isn't very promiscuous if I'm being honest. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Totally depends on the people involved and I take umbrage at the blanket statements that guys with less experience may regret or have "weird vibes" about a relationship with a promiscuous girl. I'm a woman who has had excess of 300 partners and am glad my new husband feels no lack of one-upmanship in our relationship. And, yes, he knows about my past and doesn't feel threatened in anyway. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Totally depends on the people involved and I take umbrage at the blanket statements that guys with less experience may regret or have "weird vibes" about a relationship with a promiscuous girl. I'm a woman who has had excess of 300 partners and am glad my new husband feels no lack of one-upmanship in our relationship. And, yes, he knows about my past and doesn't feel threatened in anyway. Well, I didn't mean to offend you. I just personally prefer a woman that hasn't had a lot of casual sex. I wanted to ask you a question that relates to something another poster said, but I'm not sure if you would be offended by it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I don't think it could work if one person IS promiscuous and the other isn't. Depending on your ability to deal with imperfection, it could work if one person WAS promiscuous and the other isn't. See what I did there Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Totally depends on the people involved All that needs to be said really. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 The personalities probably won't match. For example A guy who is highly promiscuous is more likely to be a social butterfly who has lots of friends, parties every week, and is spontaneous. Meanwhile the girl who has few partners or none is more likely to be shy,reserved, awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 if it is still going on adn present tense i would say a resounding no..to it being a long lived relationship....but if the promiscuous behaviors were past tense ...then yes......from personal experience and from people i have met and known....people who have had less sex experience in a relationship are just as likely to stray theres no set rules on cheating....if cheating is what you are worried about.....what is set...is a persons loyalty to a partner...... promiscuous behaviors and or one night stands....doesnt mean in a steady committed relationship that it is set to fail and that past history will repeat in the relationship......as far as having less sex or no sex before a committed relationship that then again depends on how much of that lack of sex is hinged on values.....and standards and morals....and how much is simply distinct lack of opportunity......deb Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I wanted to ask you a question that relates to something another poster said, but I'm not sure if you would be offended by it or not. Very little offends me; ask away... Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 Very little offends me; ask away... Okay... Well the type of sex you have with your husband, is it different than from the type of sex you had with your casual sex partners? Like did you do different things with them, that you wouldn't do with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 The personalities probably won't match. For example A guy who is highly promiscuous is more likely to be a social butterfly who has lots of friends, parties every week, and is spontaneous. Meanwhile the girl who has few partners or none is more likely to be shy,reserved, awkward. That's not so....can't generalize. I've been in casual RLs, but am not/have not been out there like some ho. I've had many of droughts over the years - with my current one going over two years. I entered into casual situations thanks to brain washing from the women's movement and my fears of intimacy. I'm also very shy, reserved, and dress like a prude. If you'd see me walking down the street (well except if I'm going to a night club), you'd never know I do backflips in the bedroom. If I was some low character ho, I'd be out there getting some instead of going on two years of masturbating. Fear a woman like Samantha on Sex and the City...ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Okay... Well the type of sex you have with your husband, is it different than from the type of sex you had with your casual sex partners? Like did you do different things with them, that you wouldn't do with him? Ok, while this question was asked of CarrieT, I will answer it to show how people differ. Over the years, I spent 6 years with one dude and about a year or two with another dude before him when I was younger and learning about sex. The sex was great cuz I guess I had a "connection" with them - even though it was a casual thing. We got along, had some things in common and the connection made it easier for me to open up, try different stuff, have great sex and orgasms. Then, I had a period I was seeing other guys, one or two I sorta had a connection with and some I could care less cuz I just wanted company. The ones with no connection, I had problems reaching orgasm, the sex was not bad, but not good either. My point being, I believe that's why even though I am seeking a "long term RL with one person that doesn't have to be marriage", I have evolved to where I need a connection in order to open up and enjoy the sex and their company. I now look for things in a casual guy that I'd be looking for in someone I'd date - so I can make that connection. That's why on top of that OLD guy having an accent that turned me off, I wasn't/am not down for seeing him cuz he wants booty and I want a bit more than booty and need to feel a connection. That's why I also turned down my recent crush, cuz my idea of getting with him was gonna be more that what I think would have been a "quickie" and I'm not looking for quickies. I wanna enjoy the guy I'm with and want him to enjoy me too. I mean, him proposing "how 'bout now?" even threw off the whole scenario I had planned out (like inviting him over, chatting over drinks/beers, a little playfullness/seduction..and, maybe sex not even happening...that we'd do heavy making out and build up to actual sex on another occassion. I mean, you gotta pace yourself and have some fun before the actual act of sex). So, I can have exciting sex with someone I have feelings for (like a husband) because for me, the attraction and trust will allow me to open up even more - like I did with casual guys I had a connection with. No Madonna/ho hang-ups here. I can be his ho in the bedroom and lady in the streets. Actually, I find that sexy. That no one knows what we got going on in the bedroom cuz we're so conservative and respectful in the streets. I was in the military with one Hispanic chick like that. She was very nice, respectful, tough, had a little baby fat, but a good runner and soldier. One day her husband came to get her with their baby and you could tell that even though she wore no makeup, and wasn't sleeping around/running the streets like other military chicks - she was rocking his world. One nite at the club we danced and she was just like me. We danced, got close, but no hanky panky/cheating on her husband....and, the next day she was at church. Now "that's" my kind of woman!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 Ok, while this question was asked of CarrieT, I will answer it to show how people differ. Over the years, I spent 6 years with one dude and about a year or two with another dude before him when I was younger and learning about sex. The sex was great cuz I guess I had a "connection" with them - even though it was a casual thing. We got along, had some things in common and the connection made it easier for me to open up, try different stuff, have great sex and orgasms. Then, I had a period I was seeing other guys, one or two I sorta had a connection with and some I could care less cuz I just wanted company. The ones with no connection, I had problems reaching orgasm, the sex was not bad, but not good either. My point being, I believe that's why even though I am seeking a "long term RL with one person that doesn't have to be marriage", I have evolved to where I need a connection in order to open up and enjoy the sex and their company. I now look for things in a casual guy that I'd be looking for in someone I'd date - so I can make that connection. That's why on top of that OLD guy having an accent that turned me off, I wasn't/am not down for seeing him cuz he wants booty and I want a bit more than booty and need to feel a connection. That's why I also turned down my recent crush, cuz my idea of getting with him was gonna be more that what I think would have been a "quickie" and I'm not looking for quickies. I wanna enjoy the guy I'm with and want him to enjoy me too. I mean, him proposing "how 'bout now?" even threw off the whole scenario I had planned out (like inviting him over, chatting over drinks/beers, a little playfullness/seduction..and, maybe sex not even happening...that we'd do heavy making out and build up to actual sex on another occassion. I mean, you gotta pace yourself and have some fun before the actual act of sex). So, I can have exciting sex with someone I have feelings for (like a husband) because for me, the attraction and trust will allow me to open up even more - like I did with casual guys I had a connection with. No Madonna/ho hang-ups here. I can be his ho in the bedroom and lady in the streets. Actually, I find that sexy. That no one knows what we got going on in the bedroom cuz we're so conservative and respectful in the streets. I was in the military with one Hispanic chick like that. She was very nice, respectful, tough, had a little baby fat, but a good runner and soldier. One day her husband came to get her with their baby and you could tell that even though she wore no makeup, and wasn't sleeping around/running the streets like other military chicks - she was rocking his world. One nite at the club we danced and she was just like me. We danced, got close, but no hanky panky/cheating on her husband....and, the next day she was at church. Now "that's" my kind of woman!!! So, you think that the ones that people have a personal connection with are where the sex is the best & not really with casual sex partners in general? I mean for casual sex, don't most people go for their ideal physical features in a person? Or at least most women do I assume judging the responses from the thread I posted awhile back. That's the thing that makes me think that a lot of women would want to do more in the bedroom with them than their boyfriend who's probably not as attractive as a lot of the guys she had sex with in the past. I suppose it depends on the individual mainly. But I've heard of some instances where some would do wild stuff in bed that they wouldn't dare do with their partners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 So, you think that the ones that people have a personal connection with are where the sex is the best & not really with casual sex partners in general? I mean for casual sex, don't most people go for their ideal physical features in a person? Or at least most women do I assume judging the responses from the thread I posted awhile back. That's the thing that makes me think that a lot of women would want to do more in the bedroom with them than their boyfriend who's probably not as attractive as a lot of the guys she had sex with in the past. I suppose it depends on the individual mainly. But I've heard of some instances where some would do wild stuff in bed that they wouldn't dare do with their partners. some people are exactly the opposite and wouldnt do wild stuff or fantasies ....or allow themselves to get deeply sexual with a casual sex partner but would open up over time.......i dont personally get satisfied in casual sex relationships......not physically and not mentally or emotionally...i need a far deeper connection to open up.......i was with a guy for three years......he considers me as always having been frigid......i am not frigid in the slightest...i just didnt trust him and i was right to not trust him.... therefore sex....was unsatisfying mechanical and perfunctory...the emotional bond never formed......deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 some people are exactly the opposite and wouldnt do wild stuff or fantasies ....or allow themselves to get deeply sexual with a casual sex partner but would open up over time.......i dont personally get satisfied in casual sex relationships......not physically and not mentally or emotionally...i need a far deeper connection to open up.......i was with a guy for three years......he considers me as always having been frigid......i am not frigid in the slightest...i just didnt trust him and i was right to not trust him.... therefore sex....was unsatisfying mechanical and perfunctory...the emotional bond never formed......deb Deb nailed it... But yes, some people can open up with someone that they aren't necessarily in love with, connected with, and/or found attractive. On Sex and the City this jerk was on a show like that. He was seeing a woman who - by New York/model/ridiculous standards - was not considered "beautiful". She also wanted to open up a cheese food store and he was embarrassed to let anyone know he was dating her, but the sex was great and he even liked how "comfortable/relaxed" she made him feel. Well, by the time he came around to stop dating her on the down-low, she kicked him to the curb cuz she wasn't gonna be something he was "ashamed" of and good for her!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lgspot Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 (edited) I don't think it could work if one person IS promiscuous and the other isn't. Depending on your ability to deal with imperfection, it could work if one person WAS promiscuous and the other isn't. See what I did there some people are exactly the opposite and wouldnt do wild stuff or fantasies ....or allow themselves to get deeply sexual with a casual sex partner but would open up over time.......i dont personally get satisfied in casual sex relationships......not physically and not mentally or emotionally...i need a far deeper connection to open up.......i was with a guy for three years......he considers me as always having been frigid......i am not frigid in the slightest...i just didnt trust him and i was right to not trust him.... therefore sex....was unsatisfying mechanical and perfunctory...the emotional bond never formed......deb Totally depends on the people involved and I take umbrage at the blanket statements that guys with less experience may regret or have "weird vibes" about a relationship with a promiscuous girl. I'm a woman who has had excess of 300 partners and am glad my new husband feels no lack of one-upmanship in our relationship. And, yes, he knows about my past and doesn't feel threatened in anyway. I think these three are right on.... IT TOTALLY DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLE INVOLVED!!!!!! Just as with any relationship it requires communication, trust, and honesty. Breakdown any of those three and trouble begins------and sex is usually where it manifests. My ex was promiscuous having also been with more than 300 people. If the guy has lower numbers, he better be confident and not feel threatened..... The past is past... Its what you do with the time together that counts! IT TOTALLY DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLE INVOLVED!!!!!! Edited March 7, 2015 by lgspot Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Okay... Well the type of sex you have with your husband, is it different than from the type of sex you had with your casual sex partners? Like did you do different things with them, that you wouldn't do with him? Yep - but not because I'm not willing. I used to enjoy anal sex and squirting. My husband doesn't care about that. We live in a BDSM relationship (I call him Master), but the sex is surprisingly tender. He jokes that he knows he is not as kinky as I would like nor does he spank me as much as I would like. But I'm always willing... Link to post Share on other sites
lgspot Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Yep - but not because I'm not willing. I used to enjoy anal sex and squirting. My husband doesn't care about that. We live in a BDSM relationship (I call him Master), but the sex is surprisingly tender. He jokes that he knows he is not as kinky as I would like nor does he spank me as much as I would like. But I'm always willing... "But I'm always willing..." That's why we love you CarrieT.... Your H is a lucky man!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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