Darren2013 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Is it a turn off to women if a man says that he doesn't want to get married? That being said even if she gets turned off she may still appreciate him being honest and upfront about it on the first date instead of being one of those guys who strings her along and tries to stall her off when she starts talking about marriage. I personally let women know upfront on the first date that I have no interest in getting married or having kids. This way if they continue to accept dates from me they will have no right to accuse me of leading them on. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Stating that you do not want to get married or have children is understating what you want. You don't want a typical relationship, you don't like relationships or companionship. You want to see a woman once a month and have nothing else to do with her. Saying you don't want to get married is in no way explaining that. Where I am from 50% of people live common law. Not wanting to get married is very common, people still want to have relationships and live together, they just don't want the legal paper. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I mentioned this in a previous thread...but I'm gonna post it again here well, just cause! lol As a woman, I wouldn't really mind being with a partner without being married if he is otherwise committed to our relationship (you know, monogamous, live together, have children etc) On the other hand, I don't see why people would be so hung up on not getting married while being otherwise committed to their relationship (you know, monogamous, live together, have children etc) Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 It all depends on the woman. The marriage part is no big deal these days. The not wanting kids, I get it, I didn't either, but I can tell you women always think they can change their mind or just get pregnant and convince you it was an accident. So I'd advise you always use your own protection even when she says she's using protection or you will end up with kids in all likelihood. Birth control isn't foolproof. So if you ever are involved and start having issues with them wanting kids when you told them clearly up front you don't, best to just stop having sex right then and there. Not wanting kids reduces your dating pool considerably. People always think you'll change your mind, but a lot of people never do and just make sure your partners are aware of that. You'll have pressure from family, work, and friends to have children once you're in your 30s. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I think that's fine. But I would, as your date, immediately ask what you DO want. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I mentioned this in a previous thread...but I'm gonna post it again here well, just cause! lol As a woman, I wouldn't really mind being with a partner without being married if he is otherwise committed to our relationship (you know, monogamous, live together, have children etc) On the other hand, I don't see why people would be so hung up on not getting married while being otherwise committed to their relationship (you know, monogamous, live together, have children etc) Because being legally married means that the law is involved. Personally, after being married once, I have absolutely no desire to do it again. I don't want the law making me financially liable for anyone else's decisions or having to "get permission" to get out of what could become a bad relationship. (Even abuse victims have to go through the angst and delay & expense of a divorce. No thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Not wanting to get married is something I would discuss and understand, but not wanting to be in a serious relationship or to get committed is a huge NONO to me. I'm past the age of fooling around for the sake of it, I want a man that I can trust and know he is responsible. I hate people who want to spend all their life having fun. Life is not only fun, it's taking responsibilities and offer things to the society and to other people as well (and mostly that to be honest). Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Is it a turn off to women if a man says that he doesn't want to get married? That being said even if she gets turned off she may still appreciate him being honest and upfront about it on the first date instead of being one of those guys who strings her along and tries to stall her off when she starts talking about marriage. I personally let women know upfront on the first date that I have no interest in getting married or having kids. This way if they continue to accept dates from me they will have no right to accuse me of leading them on. Maybe you're looking to only hook up and that's ok. I personally think that a man who says those things at the beginning if the relationship has issues and I really don't bother losing my time. Why would I date a commitment phone when there are so many hot great guys up there with less issues? You'll probably end up with some insecure chick who'll say yes to everything and then she'll create drama because what women want is commitment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
slizl Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Doesn't matter if you say you never want to get married on the first date. Any woman will think that they can change you. You will still be in for a hellova fight if you are in a comitted relationship for too much longer than a year. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I don't overly want those things ether and im a female that said you do need to communicate what you do want IE a long term relationship minus those two things! some people are ok with that some not all depends on what a person wants out of life. To me marrage is nothing more then a piece of paper I dont need that to show I love some one. The kids thing im still up in the air about but im now mid 30s so if its gonna happen would have to be with in the next 5 years or so guess time will tell.. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Is it a turn off to women if a man says that he doesn't want to get married? That being said even if she gets turned off she may still appreciate him being honest and upfront about it on the first date instead of being one of those guys who strings her along and tries to stall her off when she starts talking about marriage. I personally let women know upfront on the first date that I have no interest in getting married or having kids. This way if they continue to accept dates from me they will have no right to accuse me of leading them on. There is no general answer, you know that right? Some women don't care for marriage so will be on the same page and for those who want it, you're not a match. What would be a turn off was if you decided to declare it in an unsolicited way like "I don't believe in marriage and I don't want kids so hope you're not one of those broads..." that's offensive even if I didn't want marriage or kids, as it makes you seem like you assumed the person wanted that or with you. If it comes up on in conversation be honest about your feelings though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 It all depends on the woman. The marriage part is no big deal these days. The not wanting kids, I get it, I didn't either, but I can tell you women always think they can change their mind or just get pregnant and convince you it was an accident. So I'd advise you always use your own protection even when she says she's using protection or you will end up with kids in all likelihood. Birth control isn't foolproof. So if you ever are involved and start having issues with them wanting kids when you told them clearly up front you don't, best to just stop having sex right then and there. Not wanting kids reduces your dating pool considerably. People always think you'll change your mind, but a lot of people never do and just make sure your partners are aware of that. You'll have pressure from family, work, and friends to have children once you're in your 30s. I don't have sex with my girlfriends and haven't done so in 12 years so the concern about an accidental pregnancy is a moot point. It isn't going to happen unless a woman rapes me in my sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I don't have sex with my girlfriends and haven't done so in 12 years so the concern about an accidental pregnancy is a moot point. It isn't going to happen unless a woman rapes me in my sleep. How dose that work? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 You don't have sex, you don't want to get married, why do you bother dating? For the female companionship? Isn't the whole point of dating to find a mate? MATE being the operative word? Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 How dose that work? I think Darren is Making sure we're paying attention. Lol 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 You don't have sex, you don't want to get married, why do you bother dating? For the female companionship? He does not want companionship either. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 He does not want companionship either. I was gonna say he should get a dog but since you said this! house plants might be a better option ...lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 You don't have sex, you don't want to get married, why do you bother dating? For the female companionship? Isn't the whole point of dating to find a mate? MATE being the operative word? If the whole point is sex then that's what a friend with benefits is for. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 This is an extremely weird and creepy post. I mean like wow. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 If the whole point is sex then that's what a friend with benefits is for. That's not the hole point but its a part of it so ok if you have a fwb then you lose the companionship part you see what I mean a relationship must be well rounded.. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 If the whole point is sex then that's what a friend with benefits is for. I'm confused here... Seriously, what do you want? "FBs" are pretty much sex... "FWBs" are mostly sex and probably catch a movie or eat out... "Platonic" does not involve sex, kissing, intimacy...you pretty much just hang out doing "friendly" stuff with someone of the opposite sex. So, I'm assuming you want a "platonic" relationship? I mean, you don't want sex and you don't want the person around you. Didn't you say you have cancer? Is that why you don't want kids or marriage? Then if you let the person you're dating know you have a terminal disease, I don't know why you would be concerned that they would be turned off that you don't want marriage or kids. Cuz having a wife and kids is hard to do if you know you won't be around. But then again, all your posts about playing hard to get, IMO, is too much effort to have a "relationship" with someone you don't want to have sex with and/or be around you for more than once a month. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Why don't you explore your sexuality with a man? You've made enough excuses for women not being right for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I agree he should explore more with a man. This poor soul is overly confused. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 All I can say is that in my last relationship I could never maintain an erection long enough. I would go soft just before putting the condom on. It is like some unseen force puts up a block. Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_fly_7 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 All I can say is that in my last relationship I could never maintain an erection long enough. I would go soft just before putting the condom on. It is like some unseen force puts up a block. I think you should seek a doctor. That's not normal and maybe your levels are low. Your post was ok until you started adding up the ''no sex'' part (that's part of a relationship and even those who are waiting till marriage, eventually will want sex after marriage) and now this. Link to post Share on other sites
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