fred123 Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 scenario 1 girl you are chatting to dating takes it slow with you. you like her. you think of her as gf material and you dont think of sex. you want to be a gentleman and not scare her off by tbinking you are like other guys just wanting to **** her. you want to show her that you do like her. when you make a move on her she says she wants to take it slow and when you talk about wanting to kissing her she says maybe il let you etc. Scenario 2 same girl.2 years ago ****ed her now ex bf in 2 weeks. didnt resist. she gave him a bj within the first few days and then lost her virginity to him in 2 weeks! so how do we guys know if we are getting played? also why shall us guys wait when other guys get it quicker. sometimes i dont get anything and i take girls.out on nice dates , really.listen to them and take an interest etc and you find out later that other guys they treat different and let them **** them fast. why do girls lie and say i want to take things slow or maybe il you can kiss me and act so.innocent when they are not? big bruise to the ego Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Confidence of lack of it is hard but not impossible to conceal. I can't think of an instance most women would want to be asked first before they are kissed. That shows a lack of confidence. You go in for a little mouth kiss and if they don't want to, they turn and offer their cheek. There's no way to teach being alpha, but you might find some assertiveness training somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Take the words alpha and beta out of your dating vocabulary and you are no longer a beta. Bunch of BS. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Take the words alpha and beta out of your dating vocabulary and you are no longer a beta. Bunch of BS. I wish I could "like" this a thousand times. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted August 28, 2014 Author Share Posted August 28, 2014 Take the words alpha and beta out of your dating vocabulary and you are no longer a beta. Bunch of BS. i wish it was the case. but it still doesnt explain why girls behave that way with certain guys but lie and say they want to take it slow with others? how can i be sure im not that guy. most of us want to be the other guy! Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Ok lets say I could educate you in ways to have gotten these girls to give you a BJ in less than 3 dates. Is this what you want ? to get laid? (ok if you do - I have felt this way sometimes). Or are you looking for a real caring long term GF? Because if that's the case - then its not you - but them - that is those girls were not right for your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Ok lets say I could educate you in ways to have gotten these girls to give you a BJ in less than 3 dates. Is this what you want ? to get laid? (ok if you do - I have felt this way sometimes). Or are you looking for a real caring long term GF? Because if that's the case - then its not you - but them - that is those girls were not right for your needs. This is a false dichotomy, why can't he look for both? Nobody wants to be the sucker that waited a month to have sex with a girl who slept with everyone else on date 2. And there are plenty of girls who will do exactly that if they peg you into the right hole. OP, you have to make these things happen. Learn to escalate physically in a natural way, and you'll be having sex on date 2 or 3 without ever having heard a 'no' or 'not yet'. Start by getting a kiss on a first date. Perhaps hug goodbye and linger instead of pulling away, see if she does the same - if so, you can go for a kiss. To take things much further you'll need to not be afraid to arrange a date which involves ending at your place or hers, or at least has the potential to. You can work out what comes next from there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 scenario 1 girl you are chatting to dating takes it slow with you. you like her. you think of her as gf material and you dont think of sex. you want to be a gentleman and not scare her off by tbinking you are like other guys just wanting to **** her. you want to show her that you do like her. when you make a move on her she says she wants to take it slow and when you talk about wanting to kissing her she says maybe il let you etc. Scenario 2 same girl.2 years ago ****ed her now ex bf in 2 weeks. didnt resist. she gave him a bj within the first few days and then lost her virginity to him in 2 weeks! so how do we guys know if we are getting played? also why shall us guys wait when other guys get it quicker. sometimes i dont get anything and i take girls.out on nice dates , really.listen to them and take an interest etc and you find out later that other guys they treat different and let them **** them fast. why do girls lie and say i want to take things slow or maybe il you can kiss me and act so.innocent when they are not? big bruise to the ego Not to be critical, but some of you all are reading too much into it... Its as simple as she was likely more into the second guy, than the OP...Nothing to do with alpha/beta or anything else.. Maybe its me, but I could never understand the theory some people espouse that you have to "game" a woman...That has never been my experience...You can be a gentleman(I recommend it, btw), but the simple fact is that if they are into you, they wont play cat and mouse with you...They may be cagy about all out, full blown sex, (some wont be cagy, either)but if they are into you they arent going to jerk you around, by telling you"maybe ill let you" if you go for a kiss..They'll usually beat you to it!... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 i wish it was the case. but it still doesnt explain why girls behave that way with certain guys but lie and say they want to take it slow with others? how can i be sure im not that guy. most of us want to be the other guy! She fancied him. She did not fancy you. You're welcome. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 when you talk about wanting to kissing her she says maybe il let you etc. That's not about being beta (whatever that is), it's about her not fancying you. Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Take the words alpha and beta out of your dating vocabulary and you are no longer a beta. Bunch of BS. Good answer! I would add white night to the removal list too. Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Take the words alpha and beta out of your dating vocabulary and you are no longer a beta. Bunch of BS. This post is full of win. OP, she was just not that into you. The end. Fin. Who knows why she wasn't into you...and frankly...why bother worrying about it. Forget about her, move on, take Keenly's advice. Sooner or later you'll meet a woman that is interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 so how do we guys know if we are getting played? You don't. You behave according to your own style and boundaries and, if the other party isn't on the same page, then next, on to another of the billions of people on the planet. This isn't being alpha or beta, it's simply respecting and loving oneself. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Alphas aren't on top. They merely appear to be. But they are slaves to women and the opinions of society. The ones who are on top are the sigma males. They are the loners who don't care what people think; they still seem to get attention from women and surprisingly the alpha males feel threatened by them. Link to post Share on other sites
MoreCoffee Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I'm whatever comes after Omega. (tries to kick rock, can't) Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 same girl.2 years ago ****ed her now ex bf in 2 weeks. didnt resist. she gave him a bj within the first few days and then lost her virginity to him in 2 weeks! Maybe she regrets that. Not saying that there isn't the very distinct possibility that she doesn't fancy you, or doesn't fancy you as much as she fancied him....but there's also that possibility that aspects of her behaviour and thinking have changed in that two years since she met her ex. I've often seen, on this board, a mentality of "whatever a woman did with her ex, she should do with me." How do all these guys know what a woman may or may not have done with the ex? Do the women tell them? Do the ex boyfriends tell them? Because of course it's never happened in the history of the planet that a man has made things up regarding exploits with a woman. Neither do ex boyfriends ever try to one up or taunt current boyfriends with made up stuff. so how do we guys know if we are getting played? also why shall us guys wait when other guys get it quicker. What do you mean "why shall us guys wait"? It's always open to you to stop calling the girl. To stop inviting her out. If you like her, then it seems a bit silly to scupper things like that, but it's your call. If you don't want to do that, and you want to carry on seeing her, then you have no option but to wait until she's ready to sleep with you. It's her body. You don't have any right to it just because she went on a date with you. Nor do you have more of a right to it, on the basis that she's already slept with somebody, than you would if she were a virgin. You seem to be meandering along a track of thinking that could potentially be very problematic. If I knew a girl you were dating, and I heard you talking in terms of "why should I wait when other guys got 'it' quicker" I would be warning her about it. That attitude you're showing there suggests a limited appreciation for the fact that a woman's body is hers to do with what she likes....not something that she gives away rights of ownership over the moment she loses her virginity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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