SpiralOut Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) I am deciding if I should go back to this meet-up group again or not. There are a couple of people there that I feel I click with. However I don't get much chance to say anything when I'm there because of the group dynamic. It is a sci-fi bookclub. I am not a huge science person but I've always been strong in English and literature, so I'm mostly interested in talking about the characters and the relationships and so on. However.... - The discussion usually is more about the science than the fiction part - to the point that other people have said out loud "I don't know anything about science" or "I can't follow this discussion." one of the women who said that had majored in English, so I'm sure she knows her stuff when it comes to books, yet she stated out loud that she felt uncomfortable. Shouldn't a book club be a place where everyone can talk about the book? - I often feel that nobody cares about my opinion. I might be imagining this, but it feels like they try to ignore me when I offer my thoughts, even if it actually answers a question they are asking, or provides insight that nobody else has provided. - Again, I might be imagining this, but I pick up this weird feeling like some of the people are trying too hard to prove that they know things. It's hard to explain. Mostly there are comments made that have nothing to do with anything, like randomly saying something about mathematics to someone for no reason (who then rolled her eyes at it) - Argue amongst themselves about what the different genres of writing are. If you don't know what they are, then why are you ignoring the opinions of other people at the table? That doesn't seem right. I don't know if it's just me feeling out of place and misinterpreting things, but I get a general air of pretentiousness and snobbiness. Some of the people there are cool. But it weirds me out that a book club could be so..... exclusive? Other people have straight up said "I feel intimidated by you guys because I haven't read half that stuff!" And the response they get is "the truly intimidating people aren't even here tonight." Said as a joke of course, but not exactly reassuring. Would you not go back? I guess I can't decide if this group is kind of weird, or if I'm just imagining things. Edited August 21, 2014 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I pick up this weird feeling like some of the people are trying too hard to prove that they know things. [They] argue amongst themselves about what the different genres of writing are. I get a general air of pretentiousness and snobbiness. I've never been in a book club, but this is roughly how I picture them. Or a movie club. Or music club. People who feel compelled to prove to others that they know everything about 'X'. If knowing everything isn't enough, then they have to prove that they knew it first. I would stage a coup. Talk to the people who don't bottle their own farts. Ask them if they want to go to a bar/restaurant/coffee shop/book store to talk about the book, not the amount of energy necessary to achieve the Holtzman effect 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 to me a book club a music club or any kind fo club is to talk abtou things you love about books music etc...to share perspectives that are different from yoru own.....to give insight to another view another thought another belief and to share the similarities in views or beliefs as well, maybe debate them or discuss them in a manner that leaves you feeling good...... thats what i assume a club is about feeling good.....about what you love to share...not about knowing more or less than the person sitting beside you...so to me , clubs are to gain insight thoughts knowledge about something you love.to eb passionate about and not look like an alien trying to share some passion ....but discuss if aliens actually do have sex...kidding.........but to connect with like minded people....is a gas..... if you dont find pleasure or enlightenment from a club and dont connect well with the other people in the club, i would suggest branching out and looking for a more hospitable and welcoming club.....or even start your own....sci fi is meant to be fun, complex and deep but still fun..heaps fo tangents to explore....... and meant to be exhilerating and for all to gain a broad minded perspective and throw around theories and conspiracies..i love sci fi..rock on day of the triffids...:bunny:....being with narrow minded people would be a downer....... sci fi is the ultimate in many perspectives.....I would think......you need to find some club where you can express your views and have some fun with sc fi....the sky is the limit .............deb Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 - Again, I might be imagining this, but I pick up this weird feeling like some of the people are trying too hard to prove that they know things. As I was been in online forums I can say that it is not only happening in clubs. If you feel uncomfortable find another place where you feel more comfortable. I think that healthy for every one! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Start your own splinter group from that one focused more on the literature then the science. Or have two tables in that group. Call the two haves Spock (for the science) and Bones (for the art) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Sounds obnoxious. I agree with Donnivain. Start your own group. Email the ones from that group who expressed their confusion as well OR go to one more meet and steal their members. Have fun! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) I'm not the type of person to steal members. I suppose that I COULD start my own book club, on a day and time that works better for me. I'm not sure if my nerves could handle it. I'm very shy. Hmmm. I will think about it. Edited August 22, 2014 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
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