Is This Going Anywhere? Or Am I Reading Into it Too Hard?

[ashbee94]

OK, so here is the long story made short:

 

I'm a college sophomore who works for my school's residential life office as an RA. The "grown up staff" comprises of 2 directors and 3 assistant directors. The AD's all just graduated from my school last year.

 

I have a serious crush on one of the ADs. My problem is, is that I cannot tell if he likes me or not!!

 

 

Since he and I first started working together in August, he's always seemed nervous around me. And when he and I have conversations, they're always awkward and brief. I've seen him interact with other people, including girls, and he seems to be just fine, although by no means is he an outgoing kinda guy.

 

But, just to give you an idea of the other kind of stuff that goes on:

 

One night I was sitting in the union with a friend and he saw me. As he was leaving, he looked down from the level he was on (higher than mine) and yelled out my name and waved.

 

Last week I was in the school pub with a friend and looked out into the crowd and he immediately met eyes with me and came over to talk. He seemed nervous (according to my guy friend who was with me) but as we were talking about my job as an RA, he said "I really think you're going to be the best RA on staff this year and you're going to be a great example for everyone to follow. I'm really excited." And then, since on the following day I was planning on moving into another dorm, he said he'd love to help out and that he'd bring his pickup truck.

 

So the next day when he comes (along with another AD) my two friends happen to be in the room also. There were a few moments of awkward silence and my guy friend who was in the room said that he (the guy I like) seemed nervous.

 

Lastly, a couple days ago, I went into the res. life office to hang out. Him and I make conversation which is still very awkward. About a half hour later, I am reading on the couch and out of the corner of my eye, I see him standing against a door frame, about 10 ft. away. I don't look up, but I can tell he's about to take my picture and he then says really softly, "I'm going to take your picture." He takes it, but he also takes pictures of two more people in the office, although he doesn't seem to be so quiet with them. And just so everyone knows, he does like photography a lot.

 

 

So I guess I just would like some advice, commentary, input, whatever. I like him so much and I don't want to come on too strong or anything. I don't go by the office that much b/c I don't want to appear to be stalking and I've only emailed him once to go to lunch (but because the office has been really busy, he hasn't been able to take me up on the offer yet).

 

 

Help!!!

[SoleMate]

Sounds as if he may be interested, but also very shy and/or "slow". If you want anything to get started before your Ph.D. is awarded, you may have to take the reins.

[ashbee94]

But how do I take the reigns? I can't do anything too over the top because if he says no/acts uninterested, I still have to work with him for the rest of the year.

 

Any subtle hints that won't get me embarrassed if he doesn't respond?

[SoleMate]

Are you waiting for the man to make a move? Some will with zero encouragement from you, but I have found that they tend to be the less desirable ones. The nicer, cuter ones will usually need some kind of encouragement - you know, the kind that is subtle but is repeated enough so that he gets it. Eye contact, lean towards him, "c'mon and sit next to me", "you smell good", touch his arm, laugh at his jokes, smile at him, "I like you", "you're so clever", squeeze arm again, etc. All this should be in your repertoire to demonstrate your willingness and get the shyer guys off the fence. It also can be kept lowkey enough so that you won't feel compromised.

[Stylin26]

Hey, I'm actually a male from New England so maybe I can help ya.

 

Really brief:

 

1) Well, Chuck (your male of choice here), I'm starving, wanna grab something to eat?

 

2) Jim Bob, I saw the local museum having a photo gallery of something or another, feel like checking it out?

 

3) I'm thinking that I need ice cream right now, wanna make a run for it? These are all things that can play in that gray of friend / bf. It works. I'm a cutie who really gets nervous around the ones I like, so I completely understand this guy's stuff. Just show him that you are interested in his life and what he is all about and embrace it.

 

Photography? Tell him you need to spice up your room and if he can help you put some good pix on your walls. Zap them, blow them up and frame them. Then praise him for such great pictures.

 

Guys are egos in disguise. Don't go overboard but have some fun without all the thinking. Your thinking is a result of hesitation/vibe between you too. Otherwise known as possibly sexual tension.

 

Spend some time together and get rid of the weirdness.

 

In a year, would it be better to know that you liked this guy a lot and you gave it a 100% effort, or that you let him get away, not knowing what a great girl he could be missing out on?

 

Good luck buddy, I know the answer just by reading the last lines here.

[ashbee94]

Its all great advice, but I think he might be kinda hesitant about it since he is technically a college administrative member. While we don't have any rules forbidding student/staff relations, it is, according to human resources, 'frowned upon.' But, my school is tiny (1600 students) so professors/students, res. life staff/ students isn't all that rare. And in talking with one of the res. life adult staff members ( not on my crush!) she said that "everyone here is an adult...and love strikes wherever"

 

Do you think this would keep him, since he is kinda shy, from making a move? Afraid that I'd take it the wrong way and get him in trouble? Or do you think he might just think its not even worth it and try forgetting his feelings for me?

 

Guys, how far would you go for a girl you liked?

[PatienceKey]

Just talk to him, make him your friend first... talk...

 

I can relate to this guy a lot, I wished girls would talk to me---oneday a girl did. She turned out to be a wonderful person that I really enjoy spending time with. She took interest in my life, and so I took interest in hers, thanks to her we are closest of friends and the more time I spend with her, the more we share together, the more i find I love her, who knows whats in store for her and I? only time will tell... our first conversation was actually about snowflakes.