Boyfriend taking interest in another girl? Please.

[Lunatrue]

A few months back my boyfriend met this girl who recently moved down from Texas. The first time I heard about this girl was when my boyfriend jumped in the shower and told me that she had invited him out to dinner with her and her father, and mentioned I was invited. I thought it was a little weird for someone he had just met to invite him to dinner with her and her father. After a week, I was getting ready to go when he told me that there was a change in plans. The first time I met this girl, my boyfriend and I were invited out to a dirt race that one of his friends were attending.

 

she seemed cool and sweet at first, till she started throwing out these date jokes like, "I need to find myself a man! Yeah I'v been lookin! Think I could find a good one here? lol!" I was a little concerned but I kept it to myself. As we sat down and were getting settled she tapped my boyfriend's upper thigh to grab his attention. This didn't bother me, except for the fact that she kept glancing a look at him every time he'd look away. After a few weeks they started texting each other like crazy! His phone he had left on the bathroom counter was blowing up with texts.

 

When I went to check I noticed a text from her laughing about the series Game of Thrones. My first thought was, he never jokes or talks about that show with me, hardly shows any interest or excitement in it. I raised my concern with him and it quickly spiraled into a heated argument. I eventually apologized and came to accept the fact that I needed to trust him. The second time I met this girl was at another race his friend was having. One of his guy friend's invited me to go skydiving with my boyfriend, him and this girl. When I looked at my boyfriend he looked pretty uncomfortable like, he was clenching his teeth and hoping I would say no. I ended up turning down the offer and encouraged my boyfriend to go, since he had been wanting to skydive for a really long time.

 

When the big moment arrived I felt a little off, mainly because there were some personal issues that had came up with my insurance. When he came home he eventually showed me the video he bought of his skydive. He asked me if it would bother me, but I replied no thinking that the plane they went on included him, her and his other friend. It actually ended up being him sitting next to this girl on a plan alone with her and two skydivers. This didn't bother me so much than the flirtatious face that rang a bell in my head, "Oh no, he is flirting with her!" The googly eyes, smirky smile, grin, laughing, talking and excited face." That face that he once showed to me when we first started dating.

 

Why doesn't he do this with me? I thought. I have mentioned for 3 months now that I would like for us to play a video game together, like we use to do for fun. Walk the beach holding hands, (which we never did, only once over a year ago did we go to the beach and he was focused on fishing.) His thought of spending time with me is downloading a movie and sitting on the corner of the couch, curled up away from me and when I glance over to him, he doesn't look like he even wants to be sitting on the same couch as me. I do so much for us that sometimes I feel it goes unnoticed and taken for granted. I do the dishes, sweep, laundry, scrub the bathrooms, cook dinner, clean the computer room, organize even bringing his dinner to him.

 

I also become very upset when he brings up things he once did for me that I recall thanking him for and have showed my absolute appreciation, but how come when he gets home he drops his pants wherever he wants them, throws his socks in random places, tosses his lunch bags on the counter along with his coffee cup, keys, mail and anything else he pulls out of his pockets that built up over the weeks. I have stopped cleaning up after myself so much because the messes I do clean our his! It ends up staying there after I have cleaned and I end up being the one to pick it up.

 

I feel like when he reminds me that he tries and mentioned the things he has done for me, it is a slap in my face when I have done things to contribute that I sometimes feel get taken for granted. During our arguments I always end up feeling cornered, as if I have attempted to destroy his day and take away his happiness. He then gives me a cold shoulder, straight face with little to no care behind it. Stares up at the ceiling or walls and doesn't say a word to me. I end up stuttering over my words, become frightened and doubt what I needed or wanted to say.

 

It ends up turning my words into a scramble and we proceed to have a more heated argument. I can't help but try to speak over him to explain what I meant to say, but then he becomes angry with me and says, "See? This is why I can't talk!" Should I give up now and just let him be with this girl? Should I pack my stuff in boxes and be ready to move out once I am on my feet? He seems to show 0 interest in me now and hurts so badly.

 

Whenever I wish to get close to him I feel like he's no longer my boyfriend, like I lost him a long time ago and he is just waiting for me to make my exit. He left a comment on my picture that said, "the most beautiful girl in the world." Then why doesn't he treat me as if I am? I need help...

Edited July 21, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[joystickd]

This is his issue if he can't see what he has then it's his loss. You both should talk about it

[Lunatrue]

This is his issue if he can't see what he has then it's his loss. You both should talk about it

 

The thing is, we have. He turns this around on me, but thanks for advice!

[tory1012]

First of all **ck him! He essentially has humiliated you while parading around with this girl! I'm sure he wouldn't be impressed if you had a male friend and did the same thing.

 

I would make plans to move out - I know it can be hard when you both have built a life together however you need to take a stand and grab your independence back ASAP! Choose you!

 

I know it will be hard and he can find out that the grass is not always greener on the otherside! Most likely he will come back to you because he will realise how good he had it! ( Or it could go the otherway and they live happily ever after )

Regardless of the above scenarios, Leave!

[Mr Scorpio]

How long have you been dating OP? How long have you been living with your partner? The larger those numbers are, the easier it is for the relationship to become a pattern. First a comfortable pattern, and then a boring one.

 

If you have expressed your displeasure, and he hasn't offered any sort of compromise -- much less turning things around on you -- then he doesn't seem to be concerned with the health of the relationship. Perhaps he would flip were you to dump him. Perhaps he would fall into the waiting arms of Ms. Dirt-Dive.