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"Starting out as friends"


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TheyCallMeOx

I've been having some really good luck on OKC for the past couple weeks or so (knock on wood) and there's two women I'm potentially interested in having a relationship with. One woman is totally open to the idea of going on a date with me. We're going on a date next Friday, in fact, only because our schedules don't work out until then. It's a picnic, but she's open to what it could turn out to be. She seems very interested in me.

 

The other woman is also pretty fun. We video chat on Skype every once in a while, and we've been playing board games till like 5-6 in the morning on the internet. I wouldn't say we have great conversations during the board games, but she's still not comfortable with meeting me. She says she wants to start out of as friends, and I asked her how she feels about everything so far and she's like "idk." We've been talking for about 4 days, and I'm not sure if she really is all that interested in me.

 

To be honest, I don't really understand the concept of short term dating. I've never done it before, so I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. When I'm interested in a girl, I know pretty quickly on whether or not I'm interested in pursuing to see where things go. For me, I've always trusted my judgment and know how I feel. To me, if you don't know how you feel after 4 days of conversation, to me...that's just saying you've got something else on your mind, and/or something is holding you back. I feel like our interactions are going nowhere and I feel like I'm going to be hearing some bad news.

 

I've asked her a couple times on how she feels, and I may be giving her the impression that I'm trying to speed things up. Maybe that's the case, but I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is. When I feel a certain way, I feel confident. How long am I supposed to hold back from trying to pursue her? I get starting out as friends, but if we can't actually hang out in real life and do the things we both enjoy, as friends, then how can any progress be made?

 

I'm confused.

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If you want her then pursue her. No matter what she says. She'll either buckle or start ignoring you entirely, which is a better fate than being joe jerkoff and pretending you want to be her friend.

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I'm with you OP. If she doesn't know by now she's hiding something, playing games, has issues or isn't interested.....and/or any combination of those.

 

I met a guy once who wanted to talk for 3 months before meeting (huh, wtf?). My assessment: he was real insecure.

 

I say don't waste your time with her. You'll likely keep getting the run around. Not to mention she's on a dating site......starting off as friends??? GTFOH.

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Some women have issues that have nothing to do with you ox. I've dated 2 girls who hadn't dated for a while before me but turned into perfectly normal, loving girlfriends once I pursued them out of their funk. They wanted to be friends at first too. Took me a while but it was worth it.

 

So at the end of the day just do what you want and feel.

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