2betex Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Ok here is the deal, I met a mother of three who is singleand in a bad way.. She struggles. For the last year I have had her call me onceor twice a month in an almost manicstate of mind. She is/was totally confused and depressed. Then I would cheer upand she would move on for the next couple of weeks and have anotherepisode. Call me again, she did tellthat I am the only one who knows how bad her life/mood becomes. No one else knowswhat I know She was in a bad relationship a few years ago and wastotally hurt and forced to file bankruptcy, since then she has struggled witheverything. She moved to her brother’s house in another state and was promiseda good life. Job, house, place for herekids, moved in with him and then it went to crap and she was treated as poorlyas a person could be. I talked her through this struggle many times. I do notknow why she always calls me and why she would dump all this on me. In her last battle she left the state to come back home hasmoved in with me temporarily for now until she gets back on her feet. She saysshe is going to test me and that we are just “friends” . So why say she isgoing to test me? Like she said last night ”if I flirt with a guy when we areout will you act all funny when we get home” … She has also told me before that I see her at her worst and she can not wait for me to see her in her best. I do care for her but how do you figure thisout… We talk for hours and hours and never run out of anything to say.. It is very confusing, even her sister noticed that we are like ying and yang, we get along great and are both very good for each other... Could there be more or am I just a guy....This is something I need a women’s opinion on. There is more to the storybut this is the start… Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 From your post, what I gather is that you're happy being a good buddy to her, and are glad and contented to be there for her, to support her, listen to her and give her a shoulder to lean on. From your post, what I also gather, is that she may have developed the impression that there is more to this relationship than you intend, she believes you may have a crush on her/love her, and want to have a relationship with her, but what she's also telling you is that she doesn't want to be tied to you emotionally, exclusively, and is wondering if you are the jealous type, and is glad you can take the bad, with the good. Have you had a physical relationship with her? How DO you feel about her? Is she someone you want to have an exclusive relationship with, or is she just a FWB? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2betex Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 From your post, what I gather is that you're happy being a good buddy to her, and are glad and contented to be there for her, to support her, listen to her and give her a shoulder to lean on. From your post, what I also gather, is that she may have developed the impression that there is more to this relationship than you intend, she believes you may have a crush on her/love her, and want to have a relationship with her, but what she's also telling you is that she doesn't want to be tied to you emotionally, exclusively, and is wondering if you are the jealous type, and is glad you can take the bad, with the good. Have you had a physical relationship with her? How DO you feel about her? Is she someone you want to have an exclusive relationship with, or is she just a FWB? Nothing physical... She is not in the trusting state with any guy except me at this point.. hence part of the testing. Heck it was my exwife that pointed out that she really likes me... I believe she does otherwise why keep me in the loop for all this time, ?? .... I am the only one she has told about the deepest crap she has going on. I am the only one however that being said. I could be very wrong. I get that. Funny though she always includes me in her long term plans with her kids like we are together for the long haul. Confused but cautious. She has been hurt real bad a couple of times. How do I feel about her? I see her for who she is and can be. yes in a way I am crazy about her but I do know that I can not put pressure on her at this moment in her life. She needs to get her act together, I may never be able to be more than her "Friend but" it is what it is. If I had it my way and she thought similar, I would bail her out of her debt issues and help her kids as much as I could... However I am not stupid nor silly with my money. As far as a realtionship goes, yes I could do that but not sure what FWB is..Though.. She always tells me she wants me to see her when she is at her best. Right now she is at her worst.. and she contacntly apologizes for it. But it does not really bother me. She expects me to keep her in check with her ex husband and his crazy "jerry springer" wife. She even tells her childern that I am great support and will keep her in check. I dunno.. We will see... I do get it.. I may never have what I would like but so be it. Many other fish in the sea... I just really care for her on lots of levels. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 FWB - Friend With Benefits. Much as everything is now, but with sex thrown in, for mutual non-committed pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2betex Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 FWB - Friend With Benefits. Much as everything is now, but with sex thrown in, for mutual non-committed pleasure. She is a very christian person and she has wrapped her bahaviour around her battle with her kids, looking for work, trying to make sense of everything... 40 years old no real career, has nothing but is confused about trust. She telle me sh may want to move back with her sister, 20 minutes away bit chooses to stay with me. Sometimes I see the real her and she is faubulous, I see her for who she is and can be. Most see her as totaly out of it and confused, no direction, but I am a positive person for the most part. I know I am in love with her and I really dig her kids.. They really like me also... If we have no "connection" then why would she continue to stay here with me? Maybe I am just too nice and need to be a "jerk" but that is not me and I like being who I am. Actually proud of being a nice guy... From most womens point of view, probably too nice. Most of the women I know at work alway say I am a keeper and she wil leventually see that it is real.. But peing patient is very hard. Maybe I am friend zoned but then Why live with me and not her family? She coul dmove back anytime and they have asked her. If she does leave I would be bumbed but I would not let that ruin my life, or really hurt me. I do get it.. It would just suck.. Link to post Share on other sites
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