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Is he interested? What do I do? (VERY long read)


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Old 29th June 2012, 10:06 AM   #1
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Question Is he interested? What do I do? (VERY long read)

so, i met this guy (let's call him dave) back at the beginning of september last year at a social event. we hit it off immediately on our first meeting and, after around 2 hours of deep conversation, found that the two of us had quite a lot in common. 'dave' was keen to stay in touch with me and said that he really wanted to see me again. he told me he thought i was a "very cool, smart and unique individual, different to other women he'd met before" and that i was someone who "spoke his language". we exchanged emails and skype details and continued with conversation later that night, after the event was over, until 5am the next morning.

'dave' and i spoke via skype almost every day following our first meeting, and after exactly ten days, he asked for my phone number. the skype chats continued, along with text conversations every day and phonecalls that often lasted at least an hour, once or twice a week. he always made me laugh (he has quite a dry/sarcastic sense of humour, which i love), said that he enjoyed my company and found his conversations with me "thrilling, intruiging, and intellectual". we grew closer as the time went on - our conversations also became more flirtatious, and heavy with sexual tension - and towards the end of october (after six weeks or so of us getting to know each other pretty well) i realised that i was falling for him.

since meeting him, there have been many times when i have been left wondering whether or not he likes me as more than a friend, simply judging by his words and the way that he behaves when we're in each other's company. a few occasions in particular have stood out in my mind:


1) i had planned a trip away to america during halloween week last year, which obviously meant that we wouldn't be able to communicate for a few days. when i returned home, 'dave' told me that he'd had "a crappy time" without me whilst i was away, but now that i was back again he had "perked up majorly". he came by my house the day after i arrived back from my trip (he said that he was "eager to spend time with me") and we spent the entire time - from early morning until evening - in my bed, watching tv, talking, and with 'dave' snuggling me. we'd never actually had any close physical contact like that previously, but i didn't feel uncomfortable with him doing it; for some reason it just felt right.

2) a week after returning from my trip, i went on an impromptu night out with some girlfriends and got ridiculously drunk. i took the following day off work so that i could spend some time recovering at home. 'dave' knew that i'd been out, and he texted me that morning asking how i was. as you can probably imagine, i was seriously hungover and feeling like absolute crap. i texted 'dave' back, "i feel dead right now," with his response being "i can't have that. sounds like you need some tlc".

i also mentioned having a craving for coffee and chocolate. the next thing i knew, 'dave' was turning up at my house, bringing a load of coffee and chocolate for me along with him (he also offered to give me a massage to "get rid of all the pain for me", which i couldn't say no to). he then stayed with me until later in the afternoon, when i started to feel better, before going home again.

3) just before christmas, i was struck down with a bad bout of flu, and found it a struggle to eat or sleep properly for a few days as a result. i was telling 'dave' about this, and he decided to call each night before i went to bed to check up on how i was feeling, as he was "really concerned" about me. i said to him, "you're so sweet. i'm really sorry for concerning you," and he responded "that's because i care about you".

4) one afternoon a few weeks ago, i was in conversation with 'dave' on skype. i mentioned having accidentally broken my glasses the night before. i had no contacts, and unfortunately had to wait a short while before i was able to go out and buy myself a new pair. he said, "you poor thing. if i could be there with you right now, i'd make you lots of coffee (i'm a total coffee addict, and he knows it, haha) and dote on you. i'd take you to the optician myself and make sure that you get sorted as quickly as possible".


he's commented a few times on how much of a great sense of humour i have, and according to him i'll make a great wife someday, as i'm "very cute, and have the best personality of any girl he's known". he seems to enjoy cuddling with me and we've kissed, though nothing more physical has happened between us other than that; we have spoken about wanting to sleep together before, but haven't acted upon it. he's often told me that i'm "a wonderful human being who deserves to be happy." he always seems deeply concerned whenever i'm upset or stressed about anything, and makes a great effort to try and make me feel better, either through words or actions.

he ticks all of the boxes in terms of what i look for in a man. we are almost identical personality-wise, share the same interests, and have had similar life experiences. conversation never tires between us and we get on like a house on fire. i'm extremely attracted to him physically, and apparently even our astrological signs are highly compatible (he's an aries and i'm an aquarius).

i've been too shy to actually come clean to 'dave' about how i feel, just because i'm afraid of rejection. i'm always wondering whether he feels anything for me romantically as i keep seeing signs that suggest he may be, but i'm reluctant to ask him about it in case i'm wrong. he's in his early 30s, whilst i'm in my early 20s, so there's a bit of a difference in age between us. i've had very little experience with older men before now, and to be honest, i'm very confused.

i wanted to know what other people's thoughts were on this: is he interested in me, or am i getting the completely wrong end of the stick here? is it possible that i'm just reading too much into things, and making a big deal out of nothing? would it be worth continuing to pursue him (especially as it has been several months now since all of this first began) and letting him know how i feel? if so, how should i go about it?

any advice would be highly appreciated, and i apologise for the ridiculously long read. thank you in advance.

edit: moderators, please move this thread if needs be. i was unsure as to which section of the forum to post it in, as there seem to be at least a couple of others already containing topics similar to mine.

Last edited by striped tomato; 29th June 2012 at 1:37 PM..
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