irc333 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I often wonder, esp. with Facebook and all, (this is more of a FB ettiquette post than anything) I go out to these group gatherings, birthday party events, and so on. I meet tons of women at these gatherings, some I've added later on after talking with them a bit at the groups, onto FB. Some add me, I add them, some I friends request. However, some deny my request, even though they know me, and they've also conversed with me, only to be denied. And I often wondered if a FB request is kind of an indication of interest if you attempt to add them, or they take it the wrong way? That they just assume this? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Some add me, I add them, some I friends request. However, some deny my request, even though they know me, and they've also conversed with me, only to be denied. And I often wondered if a FB request is kind of an indication of interest if you attempt to add them, or they take it the wrong way? That they just assume this? No I think they probably do it to women too. I don't add everyone either even if I know them. Usually it's for privacy reasons, like at work for example. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Wanted to throw this in in ANY senario...that if a guy approaches you at a party or social gathering, if you had no attraction to him, would you not even engage in conversation with him in a way that it might turn into something lengthy. That you're short with him as much as you can be in order to drive him away? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 No I think they probably do it to women too. I don't add everyone either even if I know them. Usually it's for privacy reasons, like at work for example. So, let's say you meet this person at a Pool Party or, like in the case of the Memorial Day party, you wouldn't try to add theM? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Wanted to throw this in in ANY senario...that if a guy approaches you at a party or social gathering, if you had no attraction to him, would you not even engage in conversation with him in a way that it might turn into something lengthy. That you're short with him as much as you can be in order to drive him away? If there is someone in a crowd I want to get to know then yes I'm afraid, I will not have a very long conversation with this guy because I don't want to give the wrong impression to the other guy I fancy. If there is no romantic interest in the crowd then we are good and talk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 So, let's say you meet this person at a Pool Party or, like in the case of the Memorial Day party, you wouldn't try to add theM? Probably too soon for that. Likely I would only add him if we had mutual friends already Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Probably too soon for that. Likely I would only add him if we had mutual friends already Actually, well in my case, I have A LOT of mutual friends with this same person. There were some people I've attempted to add that probably have 20+ of the same mutual friends on FB.lol Some have added me, others have not. So I dunno, it's a shot in the dark. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I dont add everyone who tries to add me either, dudes or gals. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 I dont add everyone who tries to add me either, dudes or gals. Does it depends on who it is and how well you know them? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I try not to pay too much attention to facebook in this respect. I know people have little idiosincracies that shouldn't be taken too seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 FB etiquette from my knowledge doesn't stipulate one has to accept a friend request from someone they don't view as or want as a friend regardless of if they converse and know the person. Some people converse and know plenty that they wouldn't add as a FB and some people accept whoever friends thems. Some may have they rejected your friend request because they assume they were interested in them and some may have rejected because they add people they consider friends or want to be friends with and you're not that. A FB request can be an indication of interest or seen as one as some people use it as such. Some gals do assume guys are interested in them and some don't. Some gals take in the message of the friend zone, that guys & gals can't be friends, that guys only talk to gals they have a romantic/sexual interest in, that they can't have guy friends as he isn't truly a friend but orbiters wishing to get into her pants. Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Wanted to throw this in in ANY senario...that if a guy approaches you at a party or social gathering, if you had no attraction to him, would you not even engage in conversation with him in a way that it might turn into something lengthy. That you're short with him as much as you can be in order to drive him away? If I had no attraction to a heterosexual guy I wouldn't enage in conversation with him unless I already knew of a trait of his he had that I'm curious or interested in such as he's a known X. I'm don't consider myself being short to drive him away as I either shake my head when I see him about to approach, walk past him he's walking towards him, or I tell him I'm not interested in engaging him such as responding to his 'Hi' with 'Hi and goodbye I'm not interested in interacting you' before returning to what I was doing. Though perhaps stating I'm not interested can be considered driving away. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 If I had no attraction to a heterosexual guy I wouldn't enage in conversation with him unless I already knew of a trait of his he had that I'm curious or interested in such as he's a known X. I'm don't consider myself being short to drive him away as I either shake my head when I see him about to approach, walk past him he's walking towards him, or I tell him I'm not interested in engaging him such as responding to his 'Hi' with 'Hi and goodbye I'm not interested in interacting you' before returning to what I was doing. Though perhaps stating I'm not interested can be considered driving away. I can imagine how that interaction goes: *man sees udolipixie and walks over.....* Man: "Hi, how are you" Udolipixie: "Hi, and bye, I'm not interested in talking to you" *udolipixie goes back to doing whatever she was doing before* Your arrogance arouses me Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I can imagine how that interaction goes: *man sees udolipixie and walks over.....* Man: "Hi, how are you" Udolipixie: "Hi, and bye, I'm not interested in talking to you" *udolipixie goes back to doing whatever she was doing before* Your arrogance arouses me Egh more like antisocial to me or not interacting with people I'm not attracted to or already know I'd likely be interested in. As arrogance generally entails thinking one is superior to you how am I thinking I'm superior by not wanting to engage with those I'm not attracted to or know have a trait I'm interested in? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Egh more like antisocial to me or not interacting with people I'm not attracted to or already know I'd likely be interested in. As arrogance generally entails thinking one is superior to you how am I thinking I'm superior by not wanting to engage with those I'm not attracted to or know have a trait I'm interested in? I'm teasing you . Women do often assume that you are interested in them sometimes though, I've been talking to girls and they act funny even if I'm not interested in them. Then they change tact when they realise I'm not, and start being nicer. I never understood why until my bro remarked that girls are more likely to be interested if you're interest is neutral. Probably not true for every girl, but makes sense in the context of those interactions Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I'm teasing you . Women do often assume that you are interested in them sometimes though, I've been talking to girls and they act funny even if I'm not interested in them. Then they change tact when they realise I'm not, and start being nicer. I never understood why until my bro remarked that girls are more likely to be interested if you're interest is neutral. Probably not true for every girl, but makes sense in the context of those interactions I know some gals assume guys are interested in them as to them a guy only or usually approaches gals he's interested. It's likely taking in the message of the friend zone, that guys & gals can't be friends and she can't have guy friends as he isn't truly a friend but orbiters wishing to get into her pants. As for not understanding why I never understood why until my bro remarked that girls are more likely to be interested if you're interest is neutral. My understanding I've gleamed from my environments is that gals are more likely to be interested when a guy is neutral because he's not affected by her beauty positively (she's so pretty) or negatively (ugh buttaface). It's security of feeling she's a human being not an attractive thing while not having having her vanity damaged. Being neutral seems to suggest something of high value to many gals that guys don't primarily value gals for her youth/beauty she affects him by who she is not what she looks like. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I know some gals assume guys are interested in them as to them a guy only or usually approaches gals he's interested. It's likely taking in the message of the friend zone, that guys & gals can't be friends and she can't have guy friends as he isn't truly a friend but orbiters wishing to get into her pants. As for not understanding why I never understood why until my bro remarked that girls are more likely to be interested if you're interest is neutral. My understanding I've gleamed from my environments is that gals are more likely to be interested when a guy is neutral because he's not affected by her beauty positively (she's so pretty) or negatively (ugh buttaface). It's security of feeling she's a human being not an attractive thing while not having having her vanity damaged. Being neutral seems to suggest something of high value to many gals that guys don't primarily value gals for her youth/beauty she affects him by who she is not what she looks like. You know, I came to that realization not too long ago myself. Being blinded by the beauty. Or as I call it, pengting syndrome (or babeshock disorder) . I love to admire a girl's beauty, like most men, but I don't allow it to color my perceptions of a woman until I speak to her for a sufficient length of time and get to know her. Every now and then, I succumb to being too fearful to talk to said girl due to her being very beautiful, but it's something I'm working out. I started to imagine how annoying it must be for a hot girl to always have guys simpering over her and never actually intriguing her as an individual. But I think that despite any interest I have in girls, I come off as neutral to them because I tend to be reserved by nature until I start to speak very passionately about something, then I reveal a layer of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I often wonder, esp. with Facebook and all, (this is more of a FB ettiquette post than anything) I go out to these group gatherings, birthday party events, and so on. I meet tons of women at these gatherings, some I've added later on after talking with them a bit at the groups, onto FB. Some add me, I add them, some I friends request. However, some deny my request, even though they know me, and they've also conversed with me, only to be denied. And I often wondered if a FB request is kind of an indication of interest if you attempt to add them, or they take it the wrong way? That they just assume this? Women think all men are interested in them at all times. Link to post Share on other sites
socks5 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I don't think so Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I try not to pay too much attention to facebook in this respect. I know people have little idiosincracies that shouldn't be taken too seriously. I agree. I can't bother to analyze why people do or don't do things on FB. If we are friends in real life...that's what matters. We don't need to be "FB friends". I also find it annoying when you are not really good friends with someone in real life yet they want to be FB "friends"...it doesn't make sense. I don't add people I meet out and about to Facebook, unless I want to network with them or something specific or they are so striking to me. But usually, I don't just add people because we had a conversation at a party/event. In short, there are many reasons why someone would add or not add you, and unless you are good friends with them in real life, it shouldn't matter one bit what an acquaintance thinks or feels or whether or not they choose to add you to their FB. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I think lots of people on social networking sites throw out these friend requests pretty randomly. I never assume anything on that basis. Link to post Share on other sites
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