baguette Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 So I've been with this girl for 8-9 months now. We started dating pretty quickly after the end of her previous 3-year relationship. Definitely too soon for her, but both of us didn't expect this to turn into something and so here we are. My problem is that her ex keeps contacting her, saying he misses her and is going to change, etc (she broke up with him, btw). My gf definitely wants this guy to stop contacting her, but at the same time feels bad for him since they shared something meaningful together. What the heck can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
jrock4 Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 just tell her to stop responding and it should stop, and if she wants to be with u, she cant be talking and texting him. or have her tell him that she is with u now, and to not contact her anymore, its not healthy or good for ur relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 just tell her to stop responding and it should stop, and if she wants to be with u, she cant be talking and texting him. or have her tell him that she is with u now, and to not contact her anymore, its not healthy or good for ur relationship. I disagree. I know it's tough, being 9 months in, but you need to see this as a chance for you to see what kind of woman you're with. You need to sit back and let her come to her own conclusions on her own. Only then will you know where she is with this guy. If, after a time, she cannot/refuses to cut ties with this guy, then that tells you that there may be some carry-over feelings (which leads to messy situations like running to him every time you guys fight or whatnot). I should add that you, by all means, are entitled to tell her your feelings on this matter... once, and in a way that let's her know you mean it. Then your big girl needs to make her own decision. If she takes longer than you're comfortable with, then the burden of action falls upon you. Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) He still contacts her because she has not fully closed the door to him. Simple as that. She can spin you all manner of lies but the truth is that she maintains contact because she is not done with him, and he is not done with her. You are putting yourself in between two people who have years of history and don't seem to be able to disconnect from each other. I would tell her that the continued contact is making you uncomfortable as it is clear that he is trying to get her back. If she cares about you she will stop the contact. Let her actions speak. Then let things take it's course. If she fails to break contact I would let her go as she seems unable to move on from her ex and give you the kind of commitment you want. Edited May 26, 2012 by Joaquin Link to post Share on other sites
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