Exasperation to enthusiasm. What's he doing?

[MB9]

For the past few months a guy and I have been having what I can only describe as a staring contest whenever we're in the same room. We've been friendly in the past & when I started feeling sexually attracted to him (because of his intense staring, and smiling when we did talk which gave me the impression he liked me - we did flirt) I got shy and I find it hard to talk to him as comfortably as I used to anymore. I barely acknowledge him first, we only talk if he initiates the conversation which he's doing less and less and now it only happens when I'm with another person. He'll make a point of talking to them and doesn't make much eye contact with me, yet he can do it from a distance. Today when our eyes met across the room, he looked straight at me and looked away exasperated. I thought that was a clear sign he's tired of my BS (ignoring him because I am crazy about him) or entirely dislikes me and would rather avoid me from now on. So I leave the room, pretty satisfied that his expression was my answer.

 

 

Then 20 minutes later, I'm outside getting into the car while talking to a friend and he's walking to his, his head turned to the side, genuinely smiling at me.

I can't figure it out, he acts like he hates me then he's being friendly. He could have just walked to his car, it's not as if looking in my direction and acknowledging me is unavoidable. I'm not sure what happened between the look in the room and the smiling outside. Guys, if you're into a girl & she's not paying you attention would that be something you reacted to with a pissed off expression? He was obviously looking at me before hand, but the exasperated look wasn't AT me, he had the courtesy to look away before he made it.

 

 

Anyway that look was my sign to give it up with this guy, but then hate/blatant disinterest doesn't make sense when he's turned to face me and smile at me soon afterward. WTF is with that? I've never experienced it before. I've known complete avoidance/hate and it doesn't involve ever smiling at the person. He seems to be doing half and half and I don't know what it's supposed to mean. Could he be giving that look to show he's pissed off by how i'm acting towards him but then smiling because he's still trying with me? The 2 different reactions are messing with my head.

 

All comments, advice, help is greatly appreciated here.

[Whatkellywants]

WOW... I had to sign up and reply to this because I'm familiar with this situation and it's NOT REAL.

 

Whether you're aware of it or not, you're imagining half this stuff, and combining delusion with reality is never going to make sense, that's why you're confused. I'm not sure why you're imagining it, but i'm going to assume it's paranoia. You stopped talking to the guy because you like him (and i know it's nerves but the extent to which you play it out isn't normal), now you're overanalyzing everything and looking for clues that he's the bad guy when (sorry to be harsh) you are absolutely the weird party here and he should be the one complaining. He's not sending you mixed signals at all, when i read this. He talks to you, comes to you, smiles at you, then gets annoyed when you can't be courteous in return. I'ts pretty straight forward.

 

You admit that you don't initiate conversations, ignore him, etc, who is going to put up with that? You have feelings, but so does he. People aren't mind readers, the first conclusion i'd jump to from your behavior is you don't like him, NOT you like him but you're nervous. Ignoring someone you like is just foolish, anyway. If you don't approach, someone else will.

 

The exasperated look you think he's giving you is possibly your own guilt about how you treat him. Or it's real, and it's his reaction to how you treat him. Anyone would be exasperated by someone who ignores them or lets on they hate them. That's if you didn't imagine it to be worse than what it was. I think you misinterpreted what happened inside, and thats why you responded how you did outside, but he probably doesn't know what the hell is up between the two of you and he's thinking "I'll smile at her, and see what the hell happens!" He's showing you he doesn't hate you, and is probably thinking you hate him and he's trying to fix the awkwardness that you've created.

 

My advice: stop being avoidant, stop letting nerves overwhelm you to the point you can't even talk to someone, and if you really like this guy (and aren't just enjoying the head games) Talk! Stop relying on overanalysis of body language. It's no wonder you feel like something is messing with your head. You're a victim of your own delusions and this stuff will make you sick if you don't stop it. Sorry, honey, but thats the only problem here. If you stick to reality, you'll see that. The sooner you give up the overanalyzing and paranoia, nothing will be wrong, because nothing was EVER wrong. Good luck.