Am I to blame

[terry2768]

I found out my husband got a blow job from a girl at a bar. I am not sure when it happened. I have not said anything yet, not sure how I feel about this. Should I be angry or upset? We have been together for 11 years, married for almost 9, and I have only given him a blow job once. He has never asked me to give him one. So a part of me feels largely responsible. I need to know if there is such a thing as just a blow job without any meaning to it from a man's view. Should I be upset he has lied to me about it and has not told me of his mistake

[2sunny]

in the broad sense - no, you are not to blame. he is responsible for HIS behavior.

 

now that you know, is he remorseful, willing to change in order not to cheat again?

 

what action is being taken to repair the damage he has done, if any?

[Linda9999]

Good heavens, NO WAY are you to blame. NO WAY. You should be ANGRY. He should feel like a complete and utter jerk, because that's what he is for doing that.

 

My husband got a blow job from a street hooker. If he had tried to tell me it was my fault he'd be living from his car right now. Unless your husband would chop off his right arm for you because of this, you need to take serious stock of your relationship.

 

You also need to find out what else he's been up to. Get yourself tested for STD's (a guy can get one from a blow job). I can pretty much guarantee that isn't the only time. Start gathering evidence right now so that when you confront him you are armed with the facts and he can't weasel his way out of it.

 

As for the fact you never gave him a blow job - so what? That has no bearing on what he did. He is your HUSBAND, not your room mate. That means he promised to be faithful to you, through the good and the bad. If he wanted a blow job he should have talked to you about it in a loving way.