ImageofLove Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Hi all, Would you be worried if your long term partner said when asked that he never 'just knew' that you were the 'right one' when he met you but decided over time that you were and he has been dragging his heels with proposing? I never just knew either but we both agree we had a great connection when we met. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnM Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Knowing someone is the right person for you takes different lengths of time, even more so for marriage. If you both feel right, then does it really matter how long it has taken and at what stage during that time either person realised the other was the right one? Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I would never expect someone to "just know" they wanted to marry me when they first met me, if they said that they did I would probably not trust it and would suspect they were inexperienced or overly dramatic. Marriage is a serious enterprise, it takes time to get to know someone well enough and build up those levels of love, trust, and commitment. I learned quickly that my husband was special over the course of our first few months together, but it took me a lot longer to know I was interested in marrying him. As for dragging his feet on the proposal, you could mean a lot of different things by this--we need more information. Link to post Share on other sites
rubberjohnny Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Stung is right, more information is needed about the proposal thing. I can tell you from my own personal experiences why I waited. 1. I didnt want to get married 2. I had the ring but was waiting for the right moment. A lot of people say anytime is the right moment. I was thinking about our future and what we would tell people how I proposed. I wanted fireworks going off in the back ground when I do it. 3. I'm waiting to see if the woman actually deserves to marry me. If she is constantly hassling me about it im going to be discouraged because im not quite ready. These three things have prevented me from proposing Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Also, there are women who say a man is dragging his feet if he hasn't proposed within a year, and women who say a man is dragging his feet when they have been living together for five years and talking about marriage but nothing has moved forward and she's been making herself sick worrying about it for months. I tend to agree that the latter could be dragging his feet and have sympathy for the woman's hurt and confusion, but in the former case I just think the woman is a little bit crazypants, and they would both use the same words to describe the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImageofLove Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thanks for your responses! As for the details of the relationship and dragging his feet here is the link to my previous post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t267647/ We have since spoken more about it and he said he hasn't proposed because he is happy with our life together, he took me for granted, we already act like a married couple and he hadn't gotten around to it. I think I confuse him by wanting marriage and then I worry it's not the right path for me at the moment. Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
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