Why does society think all domestic violence is man on women violence?

[betamanlet]

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/

 

http://myoath.com.au/

 

Yet things like this happens:

 

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/woman-allegedly-set-man-alight-after-he-touched-her-breasts-court-told-20101201-18fzu.html

 

And it doesn't include the reality that there is plenty of violence in lesbian relationships, in gay relationships, yet you have campaigns like this that make it seem like domestic violence is ONLY committed by men, and only commited against women when it's abosolutely not true..

 

Why not pursue a no domestic violence by anyone upon anyone, instead of this trying to demonize men thing?

[goingstrong]

 

Why does society think all domestic violence is man on women violence?

 

Because in the vast majority of the cases it is...talk to any police officer. The case you site is a small minority of the cases of domestic violence. That media campaign targeting Australian men is merely getting the message out to the group that it will have the most effect. If you were to include an LGBT oath with the it, then most heterosexual males would ignore the whole campaign.

[betamanlet]

Because in the vast majority of the cases it is...talk to any police officer. The case you site is a small minority of the cases of domestic violence. That media campaign targeting Australian men is merely getting the message out to the group that it will have the most effect. If you were to include an LGBT oath with the it, then most heterosexual males would ignore the whole campaign.

That's only of reported abuse.

 

http://www.news.com.au/national/hidden-epidemic-of-women-beating-up-men/story-e6frfkvr-1225869842575

 

What makes you think a LGBT oath would make heterosexual males ignore it? That's quite some generalization you are making.

[TaraMaiden]

"Society" is also quite some generalisation.....

And don't forget, while we have a good and diverse selection of cultures on this board, even the British and American members have different experiences and attitudes....

 

I happen to be in touch with a group of abused spouses, all of whom are male.

maybe it's a macho thing, and maybe in the past (even the recent past) it was an unreported issue, but I assure you that here at least in the UK, such matters are being taken more seriously, and are being spoken about more openly now.

 

That's why we refer to espousal abuse, not wife abuse.

[betamanlet]

"Society" is also quite some generalisation.....

And don't forget, while we have a good and diverse selection of cultures on this board, even the British and American members have different experiences and attitudes....

 

I happen to be in touch with a group of abused spouses, all of whom are male.

maybe it's a macho thing, and maybe in the past (even the recent past) it was an unreported issue, but I assure you that here at least in the UK, such matters are being taken more seriously, and are being spoken about more openly now.

 

That's why we refer to espousal abuse, not wife abuse.

 

So why are the oaths only for men to not abuse women, and not for women to not abuse men, or for women to abuse women, or men to abuse men?

[Lauriebell82]

It is actually not called domestic violence anymore, it is now referred to as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) in order to include abuse between gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender population, as well as violence between FWB and females being violent to male partners. I did my Masters project on this subject, the link between IPV and alcoholism. In my research I did find that MOST of the data is because male violence towards female partners is the most reported. Other violence (especially in the GLB population) is largely under reported for reasons such as homophobia, discrimination, and embarrassment.

 

As TaraMaiden pointed out, abused partners are being encouraged to report abuse and more support groups are being set up for GLB and also male victims. Law enforcement is also being encouraged to take reports of abuse among special populations more seriously as well.

[stillafool]

I think it is awful for either sex to abuse another. I was watching "Divorce Court" and a woman was actually bragging that she had dislocated her husband's jaw because he cheated. That's ridiculous.

[betamanlet]

I think it is awful for either sex to abuse another. I was watching "Divorce Court" and a woman was actually bragging that she had dislocated her husband's jaw because he cheated. That's ridiculous.

No doubt there were shouts of "grrrl power" in response to it

[Lemontang]

These articles are all from Australia. It's a big problem down here (yes I'm aussie), especially amongst indigenous communities and we often see these ad's on T.V. Especially during football season (quite a few of people in the ad's are AFL players).

 

Quite a fair bit of it has to do with alcohol abuse as well. But I can say it's not just the guys though, I've experienced it first hand with an alcoholic ex of mine. But her dad was a bit of a rough nut too so monkey see monkey do.

[Els]

Because it's USUALLY men on women, even though the opposite sometimes occur?

 

C'mon, when I say something like 'fireman' or 'engineer', do you think of a man or a woman?

 

Same principle applies here.

[theBrokenMuse]

No doubt there were shouts of "grrrl power" in response to it

and if it were that people applauded such actions it probably would have been coming from very bitter BS's (and not all females) that seem to project all their anger and desire for retribution onto 'every' faceless WS or the odd feminazi who is just a bigoted piece o' crap. From the rest of the populace? I wouldn't expect much agreement with her actions.

[goingstrong]

That's only of reported abuse.

 

.

 

What else are you going to go by? Even if the others did report it the vast majority would still be man on woman...based on the cross section of relationships in society as a whole. Why do you need that spelled out to you?

 

It seems that you have already determined what you going to believe. This post of yours is merely out here to pick a fight

[betamanlet]

Because it's USUALLY men on women, even though the opposite sometimes occur?

 

C'mon, when I say something like 'fireman' or 'engineer', do you think of a man or a woman?

 

Same principle applies here.

 

You don't know that for sure. YOu only know of those that are reported.

[skydiveaddict]

I don't know Beta, I just can't see myself running to the police yelling "help,help, a girl just beat me up"

[Lemontang]

I don't know if this culture transcends across the sea but from where I come from it's harder for a guy to be taken seriously if he tells people his miss's hits him etc... in short the usual response is harden the F#@k up and hit her back, which in turn she then goes running to others and your the bad person. Thankfully I've never crossed that line.

[Engadget]

There is a double standard in terms of gender violence, because women are seen as physically weaker. If a woman slaps a man in public, few will bat an eye. If a man does it, oh jesus he's satan.

[Els]

You don't know that for sure. YOu only know of those that are reported.

 

So... you feel that the number of unreported women beating men cases are so much greater than the number of unreported men beating women cases, that it tilts the entire balance in the 'women beating men' favour?

 

You can't possibly be serious.

[Citizen Erased]

So... you feel that the number of unreported women beating men cases are so much greater than the number of unreported men beating women cases, that it tilts the entire balance in the 'women beating men' favour?

 

You can't possibly be serious.

Oh, he's serious.

 

Anything to cling to, to prove his inevitable point that women are bad, bad creatures, the lot of them.

[Els]

Oh, he's serious.

 

Anything to cling to, to prove his inevitable point that women are bad, bad creatures, the lot of them.

 

Right, I forgot that it's betamanlet we're talking about.

[betamanlet]

Oh, he's serious.

 

Anything to cling to, to prove his inevitable point that women are bad, bad creatures, the lot of them.

I've never suggested anything of the sort, I just wondered why this campaign in Australia presumes only men are abusers and only women can be victims of abuse?

 

I hate women for pointing that out?

 

Nice way to try to silence people.

[sally4sara]

I don't know Beta, I just can't see myself running to the police yelling "help,help, a girl just beat me up"

 

Oh I think you would feel differently if the ineffective slapfest you expect a woman to be capable of turned into something that rang your bell real hard.

 

The side of town where I grew up is referred to as Domestic Violence Central by others. Sure sure, you get your standard Male VS Female violence, but I've seen women take bats, tire irons and the like to their husbands or grown sons; even be capable of going toe to toe with them and causing real damage. Women rolling up with their cousins, kick in the door of another woman's house and set her ablaze for sleeping with someone's husband. This also happened in the local grocery parking lot right in front of the burning woman's kids. Instances of the youngest kid hitting 17 and then begin abusing their aged parent of either gender. The cops didn't play gender favoritism. They would just rope up all involved because very rarely was it ever a clear cut case of who was the abuser and who was the abused.

 

This is an everyone issue. Leave it to Beta to take offense when the reason why most folks think of men as the likely perp is because violence is always twice as disgusting when the perp is twice as big as the victim. As though its anyone's fault or some grand conspiracy that men are usually bigger than woman.

[betamanlet]

Oh I think you would feel differently if the ineffective slapfest you expect a woman to be capable of turned into something that rang your bell real hard.

 

The side of town where I grew up is referred to as Domestic Violence Central by others. Sure sure, you get your standard Male VS Female violence, but I've seen women take bats, tire irons and the like to their husbands or grown sons; even be capable of going toe to toe with them and causing real damage. Women rolling up with their cousins, kick in the door of another woman's house and set her ablaze for sleeping with someone's husband. This also happened in the local grocery parking lot right in front of the burning woman's kids. Instances of the youngest kid hitting 17 and then begin abusing their aged parent of either gender. The cops didn't play gender favoritism. They would just rope up all involved because very rarely was it ever a clear cut case of who was the abuser and who was the abused.

 

This is an everyone issue. Leave it to Beta to take offense when the reason why most folks think of men as the likely perp is because violence is always twice as disgusting when the perp is twice as big as the victim. As though its anyone's fault or some grand conspiracy that men are usually bigger than woman.

 

 

Also, completely ingored by the media was the highly probable instance that Elin Woods went after Tiger with a golf club, causing his "accident" into the tree. She was given a complete pass on that. That would not happen if he went after her for cheating on him..

 

I can understand why Tiger hasn't gone to the police about it, because it would mean he lied in his original statement. But, was still given a complete pass by society and basically only South Park took up that issue.

[sally4sara]

Also, completely ingored by the media was the highly probable instance that Elin Woods went after Tiger with a golf club, causing his "accident" into the tree. She was given a complete pass on that. That would not happen if he went after her for cheating on him..

 

I can understand why Tiger hasn't gone to the police about it, because it would mean he lied in his original statement. But, was still given a complete pass by society and basically only South Park took up that issue.

 

Beta, people didn't ignore that. It was reported on by everyone. The reason why not many people were crying "abuse!" over Elin's actions is because of the reason why she acted violently. He cheated. It doesn't mean her behavior was approved of by most. It was because, in her shoes, having been repeatedly embarrassed, betrayed and her sexual health put at risk, not many of us can say we wouldn't feel the impulse to violence too. They identified with her even if they didn't agree with her behavior. And it wouldn't matter how many people cried for some action against her if Tiger isn't willing to file charges.

 

But the plain fact is that everywhere I can think of in the states, for a charge of assault to stand, the victim has to press charges. Victims of both genders are always failing to do this. A call gets placed, by a neighbor or the victim. The cops show up and cart someone off. Too often once the sun comes up, the victim has a change of heart and fails to press charges.

 

That Elin did or might have been being violent to Tiger was reported all over the place. What do you want done if Tiger didn't and still won't press charges?

[betamanlet]

Beta, people didn't ignore that. It was reported on by everyone. The reason why not many people were crying "abuse!" over Elin's actions is because of the reason why she acted violently. He cheated. It doesn't mean her behavior was approved of by most. It was because, in her shoes, having been repeatedly embarrassed, betrayed and her sexual health put at risk, not many of us can say we wouldn't feel the impulse to violence too. They identified with her even if they didn't agree with her behavior. And it wouldn't matter how many people cried for some action against her if Tiger isn't willing to file charges.

 

But the plain fact is that everywhere I can think of in the states, for a charge of assault to stand, the victim has to press charges. Victims of both genders are always failing to do this. A call gets placed, by a neighbor or the victim. The cops show up and cart someone off. Too often once the sun comes up, the victim has a change of heart and fails to press charges.

 

That Elin did or might have been being violent to Tiger was reported all over the place. What do you want done if Tiger didn't and still won't press charges?

 

In the UK you could not even suggest that she had attacked Tiger. They covered the story on the BBC, and if you made comments even saying she allegedly or might have attacked Tiger, they would not allow you to state it citing they could be liable for defamation because they have very liberal defamation laws there.

 

I don't recall ANY news media mentioning the possibility she attacked him in the US, the only thing I saw was a south park episode basically depicting exactly what happened.

 

I mean, who uses a golf clup to help someone get out of a car by smashing the rear window where he isn't even at?

 

So lying to the police is okay now?

[goingstrong]

I I just wondered why this campaign in Australia presumes only men are abusers and only women can be victims of abuse?

 

 

 

It doesn't. It is just that any other permutations of domestic violence are not statistically important, and therefore they're trying to get the most bang for the buck........talk about spoon feeding some one common sense. This debate is ridiculous.