Swan Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 About seven years ago I had a HUGE crush on a guy "Mike", he was all I thought about 24/7. I was to shy at the time to talk to him, let alone tell him how I felt. My friends all knew and I am sure one of them told him. Anyways I found out he liked me and as elated as I was, I still never gathered enough nerve to talk to him. He didn't talk to me either, but he sure gave off enough signals and signs, but we were both to shy to talk. Now seven years later I am still thinking about him and I can't stop. I am in a committed relationship and I do love my boyfriend and wouldn't hurt him for the world. I just keep thinking of Mike. I often wonder if I have missed out on something, if he could have been the one. There is no one I know that knows him, let alone any of his friends (I don't even know his friends now). I don't know where he lives, if he's still single, nothing. I just wish I could go back in time and tell him how I felt or at least see him now and tell him how I felt back then. Just so I can move on. Is there anyone who can suggest ways that I can move on? I mean you have to realize that Mike has been in my thoughts for the last seven years or more, I can't just say "ok stop thinking of him". He's my "I wish I could go back in time", moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 Is there something currently missing in your current relationship? Are you just getting scared because your boyfriend wants to take it to the next level? I think there's something else going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 I think we all have thoughts of those missed opportunities...those "what would things have been life IF" moments. It's perfectly normal but not really fair to the guy you're seeing. I doubt if anything short of having four screaming kids at your feet will do much to get your mind off this old potential flame. However, you might try writing him a nice long letter with all your feelings on it. Then read it over a few times...pretend he's in the room with you and read it to him a few times...then BURN IT and put the ashes outside somewhere. Time will certainly take care of these feelings. We all have memories and regrets about no having acted on something. But you can totally screw up your life by obsessing on those. If you and that guy were meant to be, it would have happened. And you might want to consider that your mind is free to blow things all out of proportion and make a lot more out of what might have been. It could have been that you would have gone out with this guy once or twice and found out things about him you wouldn't have wanted anthing to do with. If you aren't really happy with the guy you're with, break up and go find someone you're passionate about. Don't stay with him just because leaving him would hurt his feelings. But if you really love him and want to be with him, don't let some wild memories of a guy you will probably never see again in your life interfere with giving your full love, affection and attention to your current real-life relationship. I want you to know I fully understand where you're coming from. I think of ladies quite frequently that I passed up. I will never, ever know what might have happened if I had pursued them more vigorously. But I have grown to realize that nothing at all happens until we are fully ready for it to happen...no matter who crosses out path. Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 Is there anyone who can suggest ways that I can move on? I mean you have to realize that Mike has been in my thoughts for the last seven years or more, I can't just say "ok stop thinking of him". He's my "I wish I could go back in time", moment. The only way you can move on is to keep yourself busy.I know it will be hard.I dont know what more you can do if you dont know what happened to him other then trying to do a people search on the internet and dont give up. After 10 years or more my mother lost contact with her friend from California and they had a earthquake there one time and we all wondered what happened to her. But it was one time in the summer these people came to visit us.I was in my room when they were at the door step.I was to afraid to answer the door. I havent seen them since I was about 5.I didnt know who they were cause I havent seen them in years.So I thought they were strangers.As my mother pulled in the driveway these people told them they were the ones she was looking for from California they were my mothers friends daughters then my mother told me who they were.Then that night we reunited with my mothers friend for the first time in about 15 years. Then just last year my mother has got in touch with them by doing a people search.Now she talks to them in instant messager or on the phone every now and then. I know Im way off topic but I thought I could tell you this so you dont give up hope. I know it wont be easy to stop thinking of him or move on.But all I can say is to keep trying or try to locate him.Were you and Mike going to school together?Do you know what year he graduated? Theres always classmates.com if that is any help to you. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 Patty, did you write the original post but under an unconfirmed account, or do you too have a Mike that you can't forget? Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted December 6, 2002 Share Posted December 6, 2002 No,I didnt write the original post.Ive been using Patty as my nickname here when I post. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
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