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not sure about his intentions..


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Old 9th September 2008, 4:38 PM   #1
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not sure about his intentions..

I have met this work colleague (let's call him Pete) for nachos and beer once about 2 months ago... he told me we should do this again.. and since he absolutely wanted to pay for the whole thing the first time.. (I wanted to pay my share).. so he said 'you pay next time' (always a good way to get a second date )...

So the next 'date' is tomorrow.. his gf just moved in with him about 3 months ago... whenever I ask him if everything goes well with her.. he always say 'yeeeaaahhh' with some hesitation... like he's not excited.. just OK with it..

I'm not sure if he is just 'checking' if there is a possibility with me.. it's kind of 'weird'.. but I always told him that I loooove my freedom.. (hoping he will get the message)...

Today I was going to his office (Pete).. so I passed in front of this other guy's office (married guy).. and Pete was in there.. so I stopped (the door was opened).. the guy at the desk looked at me and said 'me or him?' I said 'him'... then he looked at Pete and said 'lucky bast*rd'... hummmm

I like Pete like a friend but nothing more.. I will go this time.. cause I feel I 'owe' him.. but if I feel he's into something that will be the end of our 'nachos and beer' dates.. but I have to say that, so far, he hasn't made any 'pass' at me.. I have to say that he's a true gentleman though..
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Old 9th September 2008, 4:41 PM   #2
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Lizzie but IMO a "true gentlemen" that had a g/f or wife wouldn't be out having nachos and beer with another woman.
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:09 PM   #3
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Come on Lizzie, you've been doing what you do long enough to know what his intensions may or may not be.
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:19 PM   #4
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Come on Lizzie, you've been doing what you do long enough to know what his intensions may or may not be.
Nope.. this one is hard to read.. work colleagues are the hardest to read.. you never know if it's only 'platonic' friendship or if they have something in the back of their head..
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:34 PM   #5
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Nope.. this one is hard to read.. work colleagues are the hardest to read.. you never know if it's only 'platonic' friendship or if they have something in the back of their head..
he's just "easing in slowly" - wants to feel you out to see if he's reading you correctly.

the biggest bummer is - getting something else going at your work place. this could get messy - real messy juggling...

i would opt to say - go for nachos - but don't do anything further - even if he asks.

lots of other men that don't hit so close to home that things become very complicated...
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:36 PM   #6
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His hesitation about his g/f could mean he really feels that way which if thats the case they might not need to be moving in together, or he is just saying that for you to pity him. There are some men in the world who are only after one thing, ya know.
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:45 PM   #7
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he's just "easing in slowly" - wants to feel you out to see if he's reading you correctly.

the biggest bummer is - getting something else going at your work place. this could get messy - real messy juggling...

i would opt to say - go for nachos - but don't do anything further - even if he asks.

lots of other men that don't hit so close to home that things become very complicated...
No problemo.. my MM from work knows that I've been going for a beer with this guy.. what can he say he's married..

This guy (Pete) won't ask anything unless he is sure.. and I'm not interested for anything more (like sex) ..
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:46 PM   #8
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His hesitation about his g/f could mean he really feels that way which if thats the case they might not need to be moving in together, or he is just saying that for you to pity him. There are some men in the world who are only after one thing, ya know.
I have a feeling that he likes this girl.. but is not in love with her.. she loves him more than he does.. IMO.. she moves in HIS condo.. he refused to move in with her.. so she had to leave her place..
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Old 9th September 2008, 5:50 PM   #9
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I have a feeling that he likes this girl.. but is not in love with her.. she loves him more than he does.. IMO.. she moves in HIS condo.. he refused to move in with her.. so she had to leave her place..

Ahhh ok I see.
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Old 9th September 2008, 6:19 PM   #10
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I'd say just feel him out a little Lizzie, sort of go with the flow.

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Old 9th September 2008, 6:29 PM   #11
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I think you should go one more time so that you can pay, keep it light and all talk away from his love life and then dont do it again

Men are such dogs!! (some men obviously so dont jump me lol)
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Old 9th September 2008, 6:34 PM   #12
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I think you should go one more time so that you can pay, keep it light and all talk away from his love life and then dont do it again

Men are such dogs!! (some men obviously so dont jump me lol)
Exactly.. that's what I was thinking.. to get even (money-wise, I hate to 'owe' things)... but if I have a feeling this time that it's really 'platonic' then I'll see about more 'N&B' dates..

Today I talked to another colleague that I worked with a few years ago..we were always together.. nothing ever happened.. but people were 'whispering'... we have a 'work-related outing' this week.. and we talked on the phone this morning (we rarely see or talk to each other anymore).. and he said he will pick me up and drive me home after the 'outing'... it's our annual work BBQ... this one, I know, is interested... but never made a 'move' he is also married to a woman who has a very high end job in the gov't.. I have to be careful as I don't want to lose my job.
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