Women's conceptions needed: Do you find guys who are good writers attractive?

[GonzoCeltic]

(I had to switch the word 'opinions' with 'conceptions' in the title of the thread. For some reason, the guidelines has the word opinion blocked.)

 

Do you find guys who can write well attractive? Is it a certain kind of writing, or is it just the fact that he can depict what he observes in elucidative fashion that makes him attractive? I do realize that the responses on here do not reflect the entirety of women's thoughts as a whole, but I want to at least hear some people's opinions.

 

I've always been into writing, but every female I meet turns their head at it like it's the easiest potential-profession in the world. Perhaps it's because I've met too many that are immature and/or don't like being overt to writing.

[blind_otter]

You know, this piqued my interest because - while I have had (in the past) several online interactions with men who were excellent writers, I have never had a RL romantic relationship with one. I guess there is a part of me that finds flowery prose disingenuous. I can't really explain why - I think that I don't trust them as much because I feel they can couch their feelings in pretty words that can confuse me. As you probably know, there is a way to use words to obfuscate while portraying the desire to communicate.

 

Then again I have a tendency to gravitate towards men who can only be described as neanderthals. God knows I read voraciously but every man I've ever been involved with would not pick up a book unless it had something to do directly with their livelihood. My current S/O is reading a long book about roof framing right now, it's in our bathroom.

 

But unlike those women you describe above, I don't feel it's an easy potential-profession. Then again, the term "potential profession" kinda gets to me. I've had a string of acquaintances and friends who liked to call themselves "artist" or "musician" when they were, in fact, a phlebotomist who played in a band in their spare time, or a busboy who happened to paint.

[Nevermind]

I had a deep friendship with a guy who was a very talented poet going on journalist. He did have a crush on me, because I used to share the same interests and write poems as well, but the spark never made it to my side.

 

My ex was very well spoken, but not a writer. His words, did blend me.

 

I guess it is the general capacity of speaking eloquently and showing creativity through words that could ignite attraction. But, as with everything, it won't do the trick if it's the singular good thing. The package is what counts.

 

It is most definately not easy, and I for one, would probably be interested in what you write and how. Women who disqualify you for your profession are only after your money, imho.

[sb129]

To write consistently well and make it into a long term career is anything but "easy".

 

Eloquence is always attractive to me, however I agree with Nevermind- its the whole package that seals the deal in the end.

[Trialbyfire]

Writing is a great talent to have. Be glad that you have it!

 

Having said that, if he can't communicate clearly and effectively, emotionally and intellectually, both verbally and textually, it would be difficult to consider him a prospect.

[carhill]

Not being a woman, I can't opine here, but am curious if women find a man who can express his emotions in written or spoken words to be attractive. Or, truly, is it the mystery of not knowing for sure which fuels your passion?

 

Personally, I find a woman who can express herself in prose to be very sexy, but that's because I visualize words and expressed thoughts as real experience, like being in infinite experiences all at the same time. Wondrous stuff

 

Anyway, carry on....

[seamaid]

To answer your question, YES! It depends on the woman though. Writing well is only one facet of a man's overall attractiveness.

 

I know one guy whom, to this day, I think of as the one that got away. He's a brilliant poet. *Ugh* But then I appreciate poetry to begin with.

 

I know of another guy who is also excellent at written communication, but he uses it as a crutch for verbal communication (he's painfully inept at being social). When he writes, all his pathetic desperation and lack of self-confidence comes through, and even though it's eloquently said, the message is a turn-off.

 

And finally, there's one guy who I'm madly attracted to, and he's your typical "just the facts' m'am" kind of guy, direct, plain-spoken, careless spelling errors and all. It's the truth in his words that I love about him.

 

Substance over style, always.

[Walking away]

My soulmate is a published poet and songwriter as a side job. He is a white collar worker for his "real" job.

 

I love this about him.

 

Actually, that is what attracted to me at first. His style of writing was beautiful.

 

Yes, writing well is a turn on.

 

Totally.

 

WA

[Pedigree]

I've always been into writing, but every female I meet turns their head at it like it's the easiest potential-profession in the world. Perhaps it's because I've met too many that are immature and/or don't like being overt to writing.

 

Not a gal, but I'm guessing they think that way because most writers/"writers" fit the "How's that novel going? It's been 5 years" type rather than the "Look at me, I'm a bestseller" mold.

[johan]

I'm sure women will like you just fine if you write well. You could even wear pink shirts if you wanted. As long as you are a complete a**h*le otherwise, you'll do just fine.

[Taramere]

Do you find guys who can write well attractive? Is it a certain kind of writing, or is it just the fact that he can depict what he observes in elucidative fashion that makes him attractive? I do realize that the responses on here do not reflect the entirety of women's thoughts as a whole, but I want to at least hear some people's opinions.

 

I've always been into writing, but every female I meet turns their head at it like it's the easiest potential-profession in the world. Perhaps it's because I've met too many that are immature and/or don't like being overt to writing.

 

I see writing as something you do as a catharsis, to communicate ideas, entertain/stimulate yourself - sometimes all those things at once. Mental masturbation it's often described as, and probably very fairly so. If other people like the way you write and you like the way they write then that's great. People like that get together and start writing to entertain eachother.

 

Reading a book: I'm not really thinking about whether I find the author attractive. I'm too busy involving myself in the story and getting to know the characters. If it's a really good book, I'll probably take some interest in the author after I'm finished - ie to find out what other books they've written, and also get some ideas of the life experiences that shaped their writing.

 

Talking to a guy in the bar: His writing abilities are immaterial, unless they've led him into the kind of work or situations that result in him having lots of interesting or entertaining anecdotes to tell. If he's a good writer in the sense that he's a natural story-teller with a gift for insight and humour, that's liable to make him more interesting company.

 

Many, many people have ability in, and love of, writing, painting, playing music and most other creative pastimes. Obviously if your skills lie in one of these areas, then you probably want to hang out with like-minded people. People like that can certainly encourage you in your pursuits, but unless you've completed and sold pieces of work it's unlikely that they'll adopt the role of admiring audience.

 

People tend to be primarily interested in themselves and their own lives. As a writer, presumably you're interested in finding out what makes other people tick - right? So pursuing that interest in general conversation...(behaving like a writer rather than talking about being one) might be the best way for you to get a more positive response from women.

[OpenBook]

It's been my experience that men do not write well, simply because it doesn't interest them. There are always exceptions, of course - and I sit up and pay attention to those exceptions! But only because I'm a writer myself, and I care inordinately about the English language.

 

I have a personal preference for men who pay attention to grammar and spelling, and express their ideas briefly but powerfully. (Each word is maximized to pack the biggest punch.)

 

It's a big turnoff when they go on and on (I'm thinking of business emails as I'm writing this), or use big words/long sentences just to impress people.

 

The tone of the writing is also important. People's personalities come out in their written words. If he's a pompous @ss, it will be glaringly obvious in his writing! If he's all wrapped up in himself, the way he writes will reflect this as well.

 

I get such a kick out of communications from top-level executives (who are male 99% of the time) because I KNOW they can't possibly write that well, and likely don't have the time to invest in such carefully-worded prose anyway. They have "ghost writers" who do it for them.

 

IMO, if you want to be a good writer because you love it, then you'll be good at it, and you'll impress women with it. But if you want to be a good writer just as a tool to impress people, I don't think you'll get very far - at least not with the women you want.

[pentacle]

I'd rather have someone that could express himself in spoken words in real life. I don't really want to have deep meaningful conversations with a lover by letter, I want him there in person. There are more elements to a real person than a virtual letter person.

 

So I guess that if he has writing skills, it's part of what makes him special, but it is not the main attraction. His presence and interpersonal connections are far more important and it is less easy to mislead (although not impossible obviously) in real life. When you write words you don't necessarily write what you believe or what is true and it is easier to portray the image you want. It can be harder to detect because of the lack of physical cues.